to not want to go out for DH's birthday with this couple?

[prissymissy]

My DH's birthday is next month. A couple we are 'kinda' friendly with usually come with us for a meal/night out as it's her DH's birthday in Feb also (they are more DH's mates than mine).

When I asked her what her plans were for their birthdays she said that we should all go for a meal, then we should go onto a lap bar/strip joint (whatever they are called) because she wants to pay for him to have a private dance with one of the girls .

Now don't get me wrong, I am aware this couple are not in a monogamous marriage, but usually they keep us out of their shenanigans. DH just laughed and told me to take a chill pill. WTF! .

It doesn't sound like my idea of a good night. Would we be unreasobable to make an excuse not to go? I;m thinking of saying we can't get a babysitter, but nearer the time. Or shall I tell her I am a bit uncomfortable about the strip club thing? Am I being a prude about this?

I would just not make the plan at all, because she might think you are up for it, and other offers might come your way!!!

eeeuw

No she hasn't said she will pay for a dance for my DH but for her DH however HE mentioned to my DH that they are bored in their marriage, and are considering swinging. I don't think they have as yet.

unless you are up for the same dont do it.

I remember several years ago SHE had a quick fling and he took her back, but whenever he goes out with the lads, he tries to cop off with girls. They are very forward both equally as bad as each other. Not my type and this is why I don't want to go out with them.

All agreed there that you just say no - but I wonder if you are wondering if DH will be wondering what it would be like? (Sorry for the wondering, must be the name) IYSWIM. In which case you must have something exciting lined up for DH, tell him you have a nice surprise lined up, buy some underwear from Agent Provocateur or something and you do the honours! Oh, and tell the friend you have planned a much better surprise!

Is this one of those swinging threads?

will read through for titillation and outrage

suzyc - are you hairless again?

yup PD

PMSL @ pointydog.

Lap dancing bars are for losers. Sorry.

Could you ever imagine some letch watching our daughters in one of those places.

it sounds yuk to me..i would just say no thanks

sounds like they are swingers who are testing the water to see if you and your dh are interested to me. Say no not your thing and be very definate about it

SO definite that you say 'fuck off freakoids, keep your vile and horribly misconceived idea of sexual liberation to yourselves."

"FWIW, strip clubs arent as bad as they sound, you can just go along and get pissed without taking any notice of the girls."

VS, that is without question the most depressing thing I've heard, in a pretty depressing week

Oh yes please, definitely say 'fuck off freakoids' and then come back on and tell us what she said!

I think the person you need to be talking to is your DH. Because while it's possible that this particular couple are excessively pushy about wanting to persuade everyone that their sexual habits are the best and only way to conduct relationships, clinging to the belief that anyone who isn't into monogamy must be some kind of freak who 'decent' people shouldn't socialise with is just dumb bigotry. Maybe they have offered this plan because they are under the impression that your DH would enjoy it (it is, after all, his birthday treat they are planning). So maybe he's given them that impression, maybe accidentally. You appear to know quite a lot about their sex lives: if they discuss this when you are all together, does your DH join in the chat with enthusiasm? If so, you need to chat to him about his feelings on the whole subject: if he's been expressing enthusiasm because he doesn;t want them to think he's boring, then the two of you can just politely tell them that you're not interested in strip clubs or swinging clubs but would be happy to socialise with them in non-sex-related environments. If your DH is interested in strippers and swinging then you need to have a proper, honest discussion with him about what your limits are - but one that doesn;t start with you screaming at him that he's a sick, cheating, unfaithful scumbag.

Blimey.

I agree with madamez.

or a freakoid

Madamez is right you know, don't call dh a freakoid, that would be bad. However, you might wish to inform him that if he does think this is a fun way to spend the evening, he has been sucked into a clever corporate ruse which hides the sadness at the heart of paying a woman to pretend to be aroused by you, behind a familiar defense: if you don't like it, you are uptight/sour/frigid/orshockhorrorFeminist!

This is prostitution, my dear, but it's somehow managed to get other women onside. That's how capitalism, at it's best, works.

Which would make them sad punters
(I'm sure there's some rhyming slang there)

he-heey Heated! Fresh from the censorship thread?

Sees PW's and back.