Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What age would you let your DC swim in the sea by themselves

191 replies

Seawars · 25/07/2022 09:41

DC are good swimmers though not used to swimming in the sea. Sea quite a long way out and adults sat up the other end of the beach - so DC in sight but as the beach is busy it is hard to keep track of them. Children swimming properly (not just paddling) with body boards etc - though they've been told not to go out of their depth.
What age would you let them do this?

I'm intrigued as me and my friend clearly had totally different expectations about this on Saturday - despite my DC being the stronger swimmers.

OP posts:
Unsureaboutwhattodo · 25/07/2022 22:00

There are a lot of variables, really.

I grew up on an island and swam/body-surfed confidently in the waves from around 6/7. Unattended by 9. We had rules, however. We would always swim between the flags, and only when a life-guard was on duty. If it was too rough, the beach would be closed and we would head to the river.

IWasFunBeforeMum · 25/07/2022 22:00

Never after almost drowning in France when I was 15. The under current gave no warning, it was terryifing. Lifeguards had to rescue 3 of us, all good swimmers. Never ever underestimate the power of the sea and the dangers you can't see.

Dalaidramailama · 25/07/2022 22:03

Never, never, never!!

I too shudder at the thought of 18/19 year old me who swam out as far as the ball “just for fun” and further. I’m a strong swimmer. That still doesn’t matter.

Honestly!!! What was I thinking? I was lucky, but just goes to show the mentality of even 18 year olds and believe it or not I was one of the sensible ones.

bellabasset · 25/07/2022 22:07

I'm in Cornwall and you need to swim on beaches with life guards. My ndn's teenage sons have been regularly swimming in the sea, paddle board, surf etc. We're half a mile away from the sea.

Floydthebarber · 25/07/2022 22:13

I was about 8 and a good swimmer. My parents were on the beach, sat doing beach things with my little brother and I was in the sea in Cornwall bodyboarding. I drifted way out down the beach once and had to walk back. Another time when I was older, perhaps 10 or 11 the board flipped and winded me, i went under, swallowed a load of seawater.

Knowing how strong a swimmer I was and i still got swept out with current and nearly drowned, I wouldn't leave my dds alone, without constantly watching them, until they are in their teens.

TolkiensFallow · 25/07/2022 22:14

I live on the south coast and I’m totally neurotic about this. I’m ok with that though. I’ve seen too many bad accidents.

when I was a child we also used to go to the beach after school - in year 8. I can’t bear the thought of my kids doing this.

Original poster
Seawars · 25/07/2022 22:21

Those of you saying to swim where there are lifeguards - not that many beaches have them though do they? We quite often go to Norfolk and many of the beaches don't seem to have them. Yet loads of people are in the water.

OP posts:
mrsfoof · 25/07/2022 22:32

I wouldn't let DCs (12 & 10) do this now at some beaches. Both are fairly strong swimmers but I grew up where rip tides frequently caught people out and the power of the sea terrifies me. I was in the sea unsupervised at a younger age and I couldn't swim as well as my DC but I guess we're better educated on water safety now.
Maybe on a smaller beach on the south coast (smaller waves and generally calmer than the north coast), I'd let them go in if lifeguards are in attendance (between the flags).

whatkatydid2013 · 25/07/2022 22:34

My two are 8 & 6. They are allowed to paddle up to knees without a grown up in the water with them. The 8 year old loves swimming properly and I take her in with me regularly off a small bay that is as safe as you’ll get in the sea. I make her use a tow float if going far enough out she can’t stand. I have one too and swim a couple of times a week with a local group. It just seems prudent to be visible and to have something to help you if you have a moment of panic or just want a little rest. I don’t know when I’d let them go in alone but definitely not before they’ve done another sea safety course and probably also a lifeguarding one

whatkatydid2013 · 25/07/2022 22:36

I’m thinking maybe 14-16ish if they had lots of experience sea swimming, were going in a group of others & it was at our local beach where there are lots of paddle boards and kayaks about that could lend a hand as needed

C152 · 25/07/2022 22:37

I would let a strong swimmer (aged 12+) who has had a lifetime of swimming in the sea, go into the sea alone, with me sitting very close to the water and watching them like a hawk every minute - IF it is a beach we are familiar with and understand the risk of rips, IF they knew not to go too far out, IF I could get to them in a hurry, IF they knew what to do in an emergency, IF the beach had flags and IF there was a lifeguard. I would still literally sit a couple of steps from the water's edge, watching them the entire time - definitely not up the other end of the beach and I wouldn't let others get between me and sight of my child; I'd get up and move instantly.

If it's an unfamiliar beach or if they are younger children, especially those not used to the sea (on a beach with no flags and no lifeguard - even worse!), I wouldn't let them into the sea alone. They would be within arms reach, always; and never go out of their depth. (It doesn't matter that you, as the adult, can still stand - a drowning child in a panic can easily drown an adult.) The sea can turn suddenly. Sandy bottoms can drop away, feet can get tangled in seaweed, a harmless looking wave can catch them off guard and once they get turned around/upside down under water, things can go from bad to deadly very quickly. And that's without rips and other morons not paying attention who could get into trouble and drag your child with them in a panic / lose control over their board and bang into one of your kids etc.

I have generally found that the people who are less concerned / have less respect of the challenges of nature are those who haven't grown up with it. My ex had no clue how quickly the sun could set and what that actually meant when one was hiking without helpful city lights that come on at dusk. He also has significantly less water safety awareness - he just hasn't been taught.

WisteriaHysteria22 · 25/07/2022 22:38

I live on the coast and my answer is never in that scenario.

My eldest is an early swimmer and DH especially is good at reading conditions so we would happily sit a couple of metres out from the shore on a calm day if they are in and out dipping as I call it (they still wear a life/swim jacket though at all times) but in rougher sea or if they're on boogie boards or actually swimming I'm in there with them and will be until they're an adult.

Caramelsmadfuzzytail · 25/07/2022 22:48

Never!
All my local beaches have rip tides. Every year everyone is warned. Every year there are deaths because someone takes no notice of flags, warnings, lifeguards and locals.
There have been warnings with visual evidence of what a riptide looks like and children are not strong enough to outside them. NOBODY is!
A swimming pool is NOTHING like the sea.

Gooseysgirl · 25/07/2022 22:54

Never, it terrifies me when they are even paddling. They are both good swimmers but I can't see myself ever letting them swim without one of us in the water with them, until mid/late teens.

SunscreenCentral · 25/07/2022 22:56

40

Goodskin46 · 25/07/2022 22:57

We live on the South Coast DCs learnt to swim at school and are both strong swimmers.At 8&11 they went in without me but I was watching. At 15 & 13 I would take my eyes off them. They are now 15&18 and frequently go to the beach with their mates. They are much stronger swimmers than me.

WisteriaHysteria22 · 25/07/2022 23:23

I've actually purposefully ruled out Portugal as a holiday destination with the children until they're much, much older as even though I like it we also love the beach but do not trust the Atlantic coast there! Especially up where we like to go.

Nc830 · 25/07/2022 23:24

Honestly… never

SilverMop · 25/07/2022 23:28

I wouldn't ever let them swim in the sea without me watching them and they're in their late teens! I know of two children who drowned in the past couple of years in swimming pools, so feel extra anxious about unsupervised swimming now.

hatedbythedailymail22 · 26/07/2022 09:42

Late teens...it's not up to you to allow them or not! Better off teaching them how to be safe, not imagining you can supervise them for ever.

That goes for everyone. Don't just ban something and then at some point be unable to control it...teach them properly in the first place!

PugInTheHouse · 26/07/2022 09:45

Strong pool swimmers are not necessarily strong sea swimmers, being a strong swimmers is irrelevant, understanding tides and currents is more important. Being a string swimmers doesn't matter if the current is stronger than you. Knowing how to deal with the current is necessary. I honestly worry about some of these comments. I am on the south coast and some of the areas of the beach have such strong currents.

Again like a pp, incidents happen every year and its well publicised but teens in particular think they are invincible.

Terven · 26/07/2022 09:53

Never without supervision. Not even an adult any further than below your bum. What do you know about swimming in the sea? It’s not like swimming in a calm lake.

hatedbythedailymail22 · 26/07/2022 09:53

Obviously, it is not irrelevant whether you can swim well or not! Of course strong swimmers can still have many difficulties, but being a strong swimmer is always better than a bad swimmer.

Understanding tides, currents and conditions are the most important thing, but you do also need to be able to swim to, you know, swim!

Adversity · 26/07/2022 09:57

I grew up literally on the beach, could have a foot on sand in 3 minutes and am a really good swimmer, my sister was a lifeguard. So many people drowned over the years and I knew two people who found corpses on the beach. This was the 1970’s and I spent hours in the sea without any supervision. We used to swim in an inlet that had a large concrete structure sweeping across so it was very safe it’s hard to describe but it made a sort of small bay. There were areas we never swam in though due to rip tides and sand flats.

Swimming in the sea is one of the greatest pleasures but it is extremely dangerous on an unknown beach.

Natsku · 26/07/2022 10:11

The sea can be so dangerous, I don't think I would be comfortable letting my children swim unsupervised ever!
Don't live anywhere near the sea so thankfully not an issue for me (we went to the seaside for 10 days this summer, but my 4 year old didn't even want to go near the water and my 11 year old only went in once, under sufferance, to swim with me - she doesn't like salt water) but lake swimming is my problem. DD is probably one of the only children her age in town who isn't allowed to swim in the lake without me, just scares me too much. Luckily she is still happy to swim with me (we go most days in the summer) but its uncomfortable seeing children her age and younger jumping into deep water (there's a swimming jetty, so its straight into out of depth water even for me) without parents watching.