What age would you let your DC swim in the sea by themselves

[Seawars]

DC are good swimmers though not used to swimming in the sea. Sea quite a long way out and adults sat up the other end of the beach - so DC in sight but as the beach is busy it is hard to keep track of them. Children swimming properly (not just paddling) with body boards etc - though they've been told not to go out of their depth.
What age would you let them do this?

I'm intrigued as me and my friend clearly had totally different expectations about this on Saturday - despite my DC being the stronger swimmers.

Depends on the conditions, but they always swim in front of where we are sitting.

Yesterday I was with 2 11 year olds and we had 3 adults in with them, it was so rough. When we had had enough they had to get out, they didn't actually want to be in without us as it was full on.

Last Tuesday it was a bit choppy and when adults wanted to get out we moved our stuff right down to the water and told the kids they couldn't go out past the short groyne, we could have reached them in seconds and were watching v intently.

Another day last week we were in a v shallow, secluded bay with no lifegaurd but lots of other swimmers and they just cracked on but one of us was always watching but from a distance.

Various kids, that have all been bought up on the beach.

This is making me feel much better 😃. I ended up in the water looking after all 4 children (had to keep telling hers not to go in deeper) while friend stayed sitting in the comfy chairs at the other end of the beach. When my two got out so did I and friend just let her 8 year old DDs stay in by themselves. I know people parent differently but I found the day pretty stressful and won't be repeating it.

I am so nervous about my children in water. They are aged 11, 12 and 14. The 14 year old is a fairly good swimmer (lane swimming in her club) but I still supervise them in the pool on holidays never mind the sea!
I was training to be a lifeguard at 18 and went swimming in the sea with my sister and two friends. We were messing about throwing a ball to each other, I realized we were quite far out from shore and I was tired and cold. I will never forget the panic I felt when I saw how far out we had gone, it made me appreciate how easy it is for things to go wrong.
Mine only paddle up to their mid-section, we stay between flags, look for rip tides. I worry about shelves where they can go out of their depth in a few feet. I dont enjoy a trip to the sea because I just see danger everywhere, it is just too unpredictable for me.
I cringe when I see parents allowing young children into the sea on body boards while they lie back on the sand, I just end up supervising half the children in the sea - not relaxing at all!

My dd is 12, strong club level swimmer and in junior lifesaving, and I do not let her in the sea on her own, and not out of her depth either. I know 100% she would panic if she got into difficulty. And always wear a BA for kayaking/paddle boarding, regardless of calm water or swimming ability! I used to help run a kayaking club and a prerequisite was you had to capsize out and swim 50m in a pool before we’d take you on open (flat!) water with a BA. Just not worth messing around with, cold water shock and tiredness are all things that can compromise the fittest of pool swimmers.

I've done a cross channel swim so spent two years training in the sea, I've also been scuba diving for 20+ years. I don't let my 10 & 12 yr old in the sea without me (regardless of the fact they are both competitive swimmers). I've even been known to use a leash to attach them to me when snorkelling. I once had to do CPR on a fellow (adult) snorkeller on holiday, who panicked in relatively calm conditions, despite having a life ring to hold on to. He panicked, let go, started flailing about and ultimately went under - it was the most frightening experience of my life. I love the sea but have a very healthy respect for it.

Your friend is a fool

12 with a flotation device

Until adult-sized teenager.

They could be off on holiday by themselves at 18, so need to know about the dangers of the sea before that. So should be learning about tides, debris, marine life and how to mitigate risk.

Even as teens, they wouldn't swim alone. Either they would go out together (once all old/competent enough each individually) or a parent would go with them.

They all had proper surfing and sea-kayaking lessons, and I think that helped teach them to respect the sea

You seemed to have assumed a lot about my children 🙄

For me this is as much dictated by the place and the conditions than the swimming ability or age. I keep a very close eye indeed on my husband, a strong swimmer of 46, when he swims off the North Cornish coast in lively weather, and not that much of an eye on my 11 year old daughter in the shallows off the eastern side of a peninsula we go to on a calm day. It's not about age and it's sometimes not even about swimming ability or 'level' they have reached in lessons, it's about understanding and respecting the conditions and the environment.

I cant believe some people are saying 18!
I was regularly going to the beach with friends from 13 with no adults at all. By the time I was 16 I had travelled abroad with friends without adults. I would still be keeping an eye on them at 10 but would be happy with a group of them in the water together without me physically being in with them. Iwould say I am usually one of the stricter parents re this too, obviously not on mumsnet but with the families we go to the beach with.

Maybe I'm being daft here, but the amount of people that say their children are far stronger swimmers than they are, but that they'll also stay by their child in the sea - what good is that going to do?

You can remind them not to go out any further, but you are more likely to get into trouble than them, and then you've got the highly dangerous situation of a child trying to rescue an adult.

Providing they actually stuck to the rules your set, wouldn't a strong teen swimmer be actually safer without a weak adult swimmer by their side?

Maybe I'm wrong?

I'm not a big fan of sea swimming and my children are too young to worry about this yet thankfully.

We live by a beach, so swim several times a week, minimum.
Wouldn’t have them out of my sight! Both strong swimmers 10 & 12 but depends on the beach, the tides, the current. I’m usually in the water or within seconds reach of the 10 year old. 12 year old can go in without an adult but watch him like a hawk. They generally have body boards with them or nearby.
we also take a flotation safety device with us, it’s just packed into the beach bag all the time with all the other bits.

Kids drown all the time, as do adults trying to rescue them. It’s incredibly difficult to save someone else, even a child, from water without having a float or something else for them to grab into.I’m an excellent swimmer and would struggle to get someone else out of the water if they were panicking.

in the scenario that you describe we would have had an adult either in the water or right by the children. And just taken it in turns to hang out with them.

When DC were boarding, outdoor swimming ratios were 1:6 for river, lake, and 1:4 for sea or fast river- I remember as I volunteered once. DD1 was about 14 and middling- some kids swam like fish, others could barely keep their heads above without 1:1!

It's not really about your level of swimming ability in the sea. It's whether you panic or not. Also teen boys do die more frequently in open water but usually rivers from jumping off bridges.

Competent swimmers die more often than other swimmers in open water.

‘Providing they actually stuck to the rules your set, wouldn't a strong teen swimmer be actually safer without a weak adult swimmer by their side?

Maybe I'm wrong?’

yes, you’re wrong because they should follow the rules you’ve given them about not going too far out of their depth AND an adult should be around to supervise. Not least because a mum/dad watching their own child or teen will be able to tell If/ when they’re in trouble and raise the alarm.
it’s hard to swim out of a rip or current. It’s hard to get back in When you’ve gone too far out and are tired, even for a good swimmer so it’s less about ‘helping’ someone in the water and more about getting help from the local lifeguards, lifeguard boat, or even a paddle boarder or someone else who can help that way.

There's an awful lot of blanket statements here! I live on the beach, I swim every day. My children all learned to swim in the sea, not a pool, and we have swum in many different seas and places for many years.

And the point is, it always depends on where you are and your own capabilities. There is no one "sea" where we can all agree on risks. Some places are far more dangerous than others, some look dangerous that aren't and vice versa.

On my beach, its pretty safe. No rip tides, no shelves, very shallow and even beach, usually pretty calm. My over tens can swim without an adult as long as they are with each other, never alone, and follow all our safety rules. But on some other beaches, I wouldn't even let my teens out without me.

It depends. If you don't know that, and you don't know how and why it depends, you cannot risk assess and should only stay very shallow and supervise, as well as go to life guarded spots.

My eldest is 14 and strong swimmer but he isnt allowed to go deep enough to swim unless me or his dad is in water. They are only allowed knee deep if adult isnt in water.
I grew up living next to the sea, I know how quickly things can go wrong

‘3WildOnes · Today 09:47
10 as long as there was a group of them together.’

flipping heck! I’m doing life guard training at the moment and a bunch of 10 year olds together in the sea without their parents would be a nightmare!
Kids having fun tend to egg each other on, not caution each other to be careful!

Also the type of sea, the med doesn't have tides

Er, yes it does have tides!

The most over-protected students go off the rails the hardest at uni I very much doubt there is any research backing up this little bit of made up anecdata.

‘This is making me feel much better 😃. I ended up in the water looking after all 4 children (had to keep telling hers not to go in deeper) while friend stayed sitting in the comfy chairs at the other end of the beach. When my two got out so did I and friend just let her 8 year old DDs stay in by themselves. I know people parent differently but I found the day pretty stressful and won't be repeating it.’

i would have had words with the friend, she clearly has no idea of how dangerous the sea can be

Maybe early teens, as part of a group, with adults on the beach. Even though they have weekly surf club, where they have learned about rip tides etc, and have always had swimming lessons. I let them go to a local pool with lifeguards though, from 10.

There have been many tragedies locally though, adults more than children. It’s not always obvious where it’s dangerous. I think your friend is very foolish.

How long is a piece of string?

Sea swimming is nothing like swimming in a pool. It is very dependant on the child/even adult swimming. I’m an extremely weak swimmer, can do half a dozen pool laps at best, so I’d never let my DCs go out too far as I know I’d struggle getting to them. DH is a very strong pool swimmer, but not a sea swimmer, again we’d not risk them going to far out or out of sight. My 8 & 10yo havnt has lessons since pre covid, only swimming with us as a family, they are comfy and can hold their own in a pool but I’d never let them in the sea on their own. I don’t think I’d feel comfortable until either late teens or after doing specific sea swimming courses.

it’s also very dependent on how sensible and what the child has been taught regarding water safety. We’ve always taught water safety especially at the beach, my DCs understand the dangers of water and why we are strict on them playing in or around water.

It depends on the child and the sea.

Next week we're going abroad to hotel in a calm, small bay where the water is warm and only goes up to waist height for 100m out. I'll assess when we get there but I'd theoretically be ok sitting on the beach while they splash around. They're 9 and 12 and decent pool swimmers.

When we go down to Hove, I always stay with them. The waves can get rough, the beach shelves and it's easy to get knocked off your feet or have the shingle dragged out from under you by the retreating wave.