What age would you let your DC swim in the sea by themselves

[Seawars]

DC are good swimmers though not used to swimming in the sea. Sea quite a long way out and adults sat up the other end of the beach - so DC in sight but as the beach is busy it is hard to keep track of them. Children swimming properly (not just paddling) with body boards etc - though they've been told not to go out of their depth.
What age would you let them do this?

I'm intrigued as me and my friend clearly had totally different expectations about this on Saturday - despite my DC being the stronger swimmers.

Depends on the sea. We mainly swim in the North Sea, it can be very rough and I wouldn’t let my kids swim unless I was right there (despite the fact that 15yo DS is 6’2” and far more able to save me than I am to save him). The Med is a completely different matter.

And they shouldn't anyway. The advice is to hold hands (first of all, but mainly adult/child) and float to stay alive - you calm yourself & your nervous system down, breathe easily, whereas when floundering & panicking, a swimmer in trouble will take in water & drown v quickly.

I don’t understand why the adults aren’t sitting on the beach near them.

But mostly I think the answer to your question is not really about age but experience. If you live near the sea and have taken them swimming there regularly, and are confident not only in their swimming but also their understanding of the risks and how to deal with them, then 10 is completely fine. If this is their first time swimming in the sea, then I would be keeping an eye even at 15 or 16, tbh.

On holiday right now with DC 18 and 14. When we go to the beach I won't be stood at the waters edge watching them, but I won't be sleeping on a lounger either. Me and DH will def have an eye on them at all times between us.

My mum always used to come with me, even when I was late teens (last few family holidays) and she was deeply engrossed in a book. I always found it a bit odd, but now I completely understand why. I'm not a strong swimmer and the sea is really fucking dangerous.

Absolutely no way I would leave 10 and younger on their own.

Mid to late teens. The sea is dangerous. Adults drown in it pretty regularly.

Adults get to take calculated risks like this, children don't.

You may as well ask at what age would you let your child cycle through heavy city traffic, around multi-lane roundabouts and where there are lorries, buses and motorcycles.

My answer is never. I wouldn't let my child do that. Cyclists are frequently crushed to death by buses and lorries or caught up in collisions round here. And yet lots of commuters still cycle to work. Their call. My DC can make that call as an adult, I won't be making it for them.

Same with sea swimming...I can't protect them from risks which lead to many adults drowning so I won't be allowing this. It will be their decision when they are an adult.

This ☝️

We have always swum in the sea with them and we're all very strong swimmers. DC, 19 & 17, know about rip tides and flags etc. DC1 was a club swimmer too. Neither swam without us until their first independent holiday.

The vast majority don't drown. It's a matter of weighing up risk.

Arguably, a teenager who's never been allowed in the sea and has to wear life jackets walking through a puddle is more at risk when they go to uni at a coastal city and run into the sea pissed on a night out, vs. those who weren't wrapped in cotton wool.

I think a lot depends on the conditions - one sea swim can be very different from another.

My sister lives near a very popular swimming beach, which has lifeguards, is generally very calm etc and her and her kids swim there all the time. I’d still be very cautious there - but it is very different to a rough sea/somewhere with currents/somewhere you’re not familiar with etc.

The sea can be deceptively dangerous even the calmest

Isn't it far more dangerous to never let them in the sea without direct supervision and only finally let them loose when they're going on holiday at legal drinking age?

What happens at midnight on their 18th birthday that suddenly makes it OK? Or is it "out of sight out of mind"?

So âge 12 onwards preferably near lifeguards

Danger can happen in a split second, waves, cramp, exhaustion, rip tides

No, it’s never more dangerous to have an extra pair of eyes for as long as you can, whenever you can. You’re a safety net.

For me 18 is when they leave home so I can’t physically watch out for them anymore. But even when we go on holiday together (most in their 20s), I still keep an eye on them though am more relaxed as they know not to ever swim in the sea alone and are past some of the craziness that teens get up to. Teens have impulse control issues and risk taking behaviour.

It really depends on the sea. On our main beach, not until she was a teen & she's always been a very strong swimmer

We have a beach just out of town with several long stone sea arms, the water between the sea arms is always calm, no current at all & just deep enough for her then 8 yo self to stand up in. We let her swim there on her own with us on the beach as we knew it to be very safe & she was a very strong swimmer

I wouldn't allow it at all. Watch the programme about lifeboat rescues. People can get into trouble in the sea at any age even though they are good swimmers.
No matter how well someone swims in a pool, the sea is a different beast altogether with tides and currents that can be dangerously strong.

I wouldn't let go deeper than their waists them on a non lifeguarded beach as teens.

Under 10s? You should be in the water with them.

Absolutely this. And as pbdr rightly says, the sea is dangerous even for competent adults.

My DC are 11, 14 and 17 and I get in with them still and won't let them more than a few feet from me, also no deeper than waist height. They are well versed in what to do should they get pulled out. I read a horrendous thread on here once, that completely left me terrified, I will try and link to it.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4331128-AIBU-to-say-rip-currents-can-get-you-in-shallow-water-and-body-boards-are-actually-quite-dangerous?page=1

DD is a far stronger swimmer than me, used to swim competitively. We live by the beach and she swims in the sea several times a week if the weather is good. But I sit at the waters edge and watch her like a hawk. Our beach is generally safe, we check the tides and she knows it well, there are many places where it dips down a ft before going shallow again (obviously this can change). The number of people we see on holiday who let their toddler into paddle and dont bother going in with them, not realising that there is a sudden dip before it goes shallow again is ridiculous.

Initially you should go in with them, check out the lay of the land, dont let them in alone at all if the tide is going out and then sit waterside to watch them, not up the beach where you have many people in front of you and it would take you 5 mins to get to the sea.

Should have added, we only get in where there are lifeguards and lots of other people around. DH stands at the shoreline watching us as he can swim but prefers not to

Surely it also depends on how often the children go in the sea? If its a child brought up somewhere like Newquay they will be proficient from an earlier age than mine who saw the sea once a year on holiday. Mine were all proficient swimmers but didn't go in without either their dad or me also in the water until around 12. Always had the rule no deeper than waist deep or possibly boob deep if the sea was calm (not often in Cornwall) but I would never switch off! Even this year when I went away with my two youngest ages 22 and 24 I kept an eye on them the whole time they were swimming/bodyboarding - I'm not overprotective - honest!!! 😊 I would have done the same for an adult friend!

Late teens. A few adults in Portugal (Algarve) struggled to get out of the sea when I was there due to the current being so strong, and that was at edge of the sea - they had to be pulled out of it. It looked calm!

I think another problem is that from a distance it's not always obvious whether a swimmer is struggling or just messing about. You can't rely on them calling either as waves wind distance etc mess with acoustics when your in the water. And struggling while trying to call for help will tire you very very quickly

we live by the sea and dc swim, sail, paddle board all the time. Dc are 15 and 21 and understand the sea and tides but I am still always aware where they are and how long they have been out. Most times they take a radio. The number of times I watch young kids on their holidays go into or on the sea without life jackets and with parents not watching them is frightening. The sea is unpredictable, near me a dad died recently saving a group of kids. All these kids were local and used to the sea. The sea is not the same as a swimming pool.