to think English weddings are frequently sh*t?

[CraggyIslandTouristBoard]

...and in particular the timing of the so-called wedding 'breakfast' (a term which should in any event should only be used for a morning meal).

Wedding I recently went to:

• All guests staying in same hotel, breakfast (actual breakfast) at 8:30am


• Wedding starts 11am


• Canapes at 1pm EXCEPT we only got served 1 single canape. That was it. And we were on the lookout for them, and moved to stand near the kitchen when we saw they were being served but hadn't reached us. (Quite a lot of alcohol though but really not much fun drinking it because we're starting to get effing hungry.)


• Wedding 'breakfast' scheduled for 4pm, starters actually not served until 4:20ish, main course after 5pm by which point we're beyond hangry/fainting with hunger.


• 8pm cake, followed by evening buffet. Which only gets picked at because we ate lunch so late.


• We ate breakfast in hotel (actual breakfast) 8:30am


• Wedding was 11am for an 11:30 start, though didn't actually start until 12:20ish


• Canapes served about 2pm. On that occasion we got offered a total of 3 canapes. Seeing friends of bride and groom we've not seen for a while, conversation invariably goes (us) "Long time no see - how are you?" (other guests) "Pretty hungry actually!"


• "Breakfast" Lunch officially 4pm but everything seemingly running late, we were on the very last table to be served and got starter about 5pm and main just before 6pm. Dessert 7:30pm


• Pizza from 9pm, plus wedding cake. FFS we only finished dinner an hour and a half ago!!!!

At another wedding I remember something similar happening and people heading to the nearby pub to stock up on crisps to keep them going.

What is with this ridiculous tradition of serving a meal so late in the day with guests having effectively nothing to eat in the meantime?! These were relatively lavish weddings, I don't expect to be fed constantly/repeatedly/anything particularly fancy and would be quite happy with a decent meal at lunchtime and then just some cake (or a cheeseboard or pizza or an evening buffet if the wedding couple is so inclined). The weddings must have cost at fortune and yet at each of them it was clear people were just too hungry for most of the afternoon to really enjoy it.

How does anyone think this is a good idea?!

If you've organised a wedding with similar timing yourself, why?! Just why?!

Thank god we didn't have the kids with us, but in future if we do take them to a wedding I think I'm going to have to bring a picnic for them (and us).

(By way of background I am English myself, and had an evening wedding with a mountain of canapes followed by a full 4 course dinner straight after).

Exactly. Pretty standard wedding in our community. People would pass out with shock if there weren’t substantial canapés and be the talk of the town. Slightly tongue in cheek but with an element of truth.

How very generous of you at your own wedding.

It sounds like you don't like weddings so perhaps don't accept another invitation.

You give Victor Meldrew a run for his money

This is why I'm glad our wedding was before the second lockdown and had reception in my parents garden with a buffet inside to help yourself too.

I'm the youngest of 4 by quite a few years and remember being bored out of my mind at my brothers weddings. My eldest brother i remember waiting what felt like hours for photos to be done. Weird food which I didn't like (thankfully i stocked up at the buffet in the evening). My other brothers wedding not as bad but still boring for a 20 odd year old with no one to hang out with.I have nieces and nephewsnow who are early teen,almost teen and primary aged and younger brother in law's so was adamant that it would all be quick, they could wear what they wanted, didn't have to come if their anxiety was playing up or could hide in our living room and play on our consoles,and get straight back to the food and cake.

We chose buffet food as we got married at 2pm so ensured everyone knew to have lunch beforehand but we put on a huge spread and there was something to appeal to everyone.

I have aspergers but I'd be mortified if a guest was bored or hungry/thirsty and not enjoying themselves (as much as you can on someone's special day).

"Extremely bad tempered" due to being a bit hungry?!

Have you sought help for your anger issues?

@EricaVonFiddlesworth

what a joyless attitude

Pretty much this. The host plans the day to how they want it mainly with no real thought to those attending. We attend due to basically family pressure.

No "evening do" which is pointless really

We didn’t have an evening do, just a big party with loads of food and a free bar that lasted from 2pm to 3am. There was heaps of food and drink left over, so I’m pretty confident nobody went hungry or thirsty.

@Purplepatsy

But if you eat a cooked breakfast at 8.30 you should be able to last until 4

Er, no, I wouldn't, I'd be very hungry and extremely bad tempered by 4.

if you would really be so hungry you’d be extremely bad tempered you have issues

I don't believe 'hangry' exists as a thing that changes you. As adults people should be able to experience being a little bit hungry at a wedding without losing their minds.
I would imagine people who believe they get 'hangry' carry snacks at all times?

It's a wedding breakfast as its the first meal after getting married, notbthe first meal of the day.

And don't go to any more weddings. No point if you find them all shit and the couple get to spend their day with people who want to be there. Everyones a winner then!

Sounds well planned.

Being a bit hungry is a terrible terrible thing on mumsnet.

People fear it and carry around copious amounts of snacks so that they never ever have to feel hungry.

On first receiving a wedding invite first thing to think about is food, will I be fed constantly through the day? will there be any times when that selfish bride and groom are absent for photos when I might not get fed? I don’t want to be mingling I want food! When can I leave to go home and get McDonald’s on the way?

It’s crazy

People try and draw out the day too long.

We didn’t. People were free to come and go as they pleased, and they did.

We even gained few people along the way.

Oh I don’t know, I’m a pretty placid person but I can get tetchy if I’m hungry. Not straight away, I can deal with it for a bit but if it carries on I start to get a bit irritable.

Why not take a couple of emergency sandwiches to eat back in your room when you need them?

I find joy in other ways. Just not events I'm forced to attend out of obligation.

If I were completely joyless however, I'd make excuses not to attend but free booze is free booze.

Like the Queen, have a marmalade sandwich in your handbag!

Agree. They go on far too long and it's boring and tiring.

That’s right.

The only wedding Ive been to that follows the format in the op was a Scottish wedding. Also held on a Sunday meaning a day off work for anyone who had to travel!

That's why In my first wedding I got married at 3pm and first time I saw anyone was at the church - no overnight stays or breakfasts, they could have had a full English followed at 1.30 by Maccy ds for all I knew.

Drinks at 4.30- dinner at 5.30 and cake and canapés at 9 pm.

2nd time I got married abroad at 12.00 immediately followed by lunch on terrace and then in the evening we all went to casino in hotel for drinks and nibbles(7 of us in total for whole day)

YANBU. I do not know why people don’t get married later in the day and save all the hungry, tedious standing around. Just meads to getting drunk too, although there’s was no fear of that at the one I went to recently as you couldn’t get a drink either.

i like the ceremony and the party but the in between bit is shite.

Gosh, it really is all about the food for you. You’re a grown up, you can go get yourself something to eat you know,

I've never experienced this, but suggest you do need to carry snacks at all times then. Just to be on the safe side.

I don't believe 'hangry' exists as a thing that changes you.

WELL GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!! 😡😡😡😡🤬🤬🤬

(This is a joke.)