to think English weddings are frequently sh*t?

[CraggyIslandTouristBoard]

...and in particular the timing of the so-called wedding 'breakfast' (a term which should in any event should only be used for a morning meal).

Wedding I recently went to:

• All guests staying in same hotel, breakfast (actual breakfast) at 8:30am


• Wedding starts 11am


• Canapes at 1pm EXCEPT we only got served 1 single canape. That was it. And we were on the lookout for them, and moved to stand near the kitchen when we saw they were being served but hadn't reached us. (Quite a lot of alcohol though but really not much fun drinking it because we're starting to get effing hungry.)


• Wedding 'breakfast' scheduled for 4pm, starters actually not served until 4:20ish, main course after 5pm by which point we're beyond hangry/fainting with hunger.


• 8pm cake, followed by evening buffet. Which only gets picked at because we ate lunch so late.


• We ate breakfast in hotel (actual breakfast) 8:30am


• Wedding was 11am for an 11:30 start, though didn't actually start until 12:20ish


• Canapes served about 2pm. On that occasion we got offered a total of 3 canapes. Seeing friends of bride and groom we've not seen for a while, conversation invariably goes (us) "Long time no see - how are you?" (other guests) "Pretty hungry actually!"


• "Breakfast" Lunch officially 4pm but everything seemingly running late, we were on the very last table to be served and got starter about 5pm and main just before 6pm. Dessert 7:30pm


• Pizza from 9pm, plus wedding cake. FFS we only finished dinner an hour and a half ago!!!!

At another wedding I remember something similar happening and people heading to the nearby pub to stock up on crisps to keep them going.

What is with this ridiculous tradition of serving a meal so late in the day with guests having effectively nothing to eat in the meantime?! These were relatively lavish weddings, I don't expect to be fed constantly/repeatedly/anything particularly fancy and would be quite happy with a decent meal at lunchtime and then just some cake (or a cheeseboard or pizza or an evening buffet if the wedding couple is so inclined). The weddings must have cost at fortune and yet at each of them it was clear people were just too hungry for most of the afternoon to really enjoy it.

How does anyone think this is a good idea?!

If you've organised a wedding with similar timing yourself, why?! Just why?!

Thank god we didn't have the kids with us, but in future if we do take them to a wedding I think I'm going to have to bring a picnic for them (and us).

(By way of background I am English myself, and had an evening wedding with a mountain of canapes followed by a full 4 course dinner straight after).

Who absolutely loves looking at other people's wedding photos, or indeed do the couple look at them constantly post wedding? I dunno, what's with the hours and hours of posing and trees and lighting and little bridges and sunshine peeping through the clouds. FB and Instagram I suppose.

Ditch the Lord Lichfield aspect and no one will be hangry hungry or hammered before dinner.

Take a few pics at the ceremony/church, and be done with all that shit.

This is how I fondly remember weddings. I've never heard of people staying overnight in hotels, canapes and all that jazz!! Sounds absolutely boring.

Because people have had to pay such a lot of money for thr photographer they want their moneys worth I imagine.
if you've had to pay over a grand for the photographer's service you probably don't just want a couple of quick photos then bugger off.
photographers justify their huge prices by including hundreds of images and hours of photos, maybe with two photographers.
30 years ago the photographer did a few posed groups much quicker and charged much less.
we had reportage photography, much less invasive

Half the guests were left out of the wedding breakfast??? And not fed in 11 hours????

I don't really get hangry and I'd be hopping mad. I'd just book a taxi and bog off. That's insane.

My wedding day was

1pm arrival (guests/groom)
2pm wedding
230pm photos/live music/drinks
4pm bbq/hog roast
530pm speeches
6pm casino/games/ice cream van
730pm evening do
830pm first dance
10pm bacon and sausage sarnies

Had late breakfast before the wedding was not hungry thirsty or bored at any point

Why do people make them so long?

I agree it is the ceremony time which is the problem. I'm not in the UK, but weddings here are generally held mid afternoon, which seems more sensible. I had a (small) morning wedding myself, but then the wedding breakfast was held in the early afternoon and there was no evening function.

Some of you are utterly joyless and would be doing yourself and everyone else a favour by not bothering to attend. The B&G wouldn't want you there if they had an inkling of your snarling disdain and determination to be displeased. I'm sure they'd prefer to save the money they're wasting on your presence.

I love weddings and I don't mind at all going a couple of hours without food. Mingling, dancing, drinking and celebrating the happy couple. I'm also happy to find amusement/conversation while the couple has photos.

This is just my opinion, but I think the various traditions of weddings in this country are part of the problem. They lead to a lot of unnecessary standing around, sitting around, having to eat specific things at often unsuitable times, excessive formality, having to dress in a specific way, having to sit in specific places, etc etc. We dispensed with a lot of the conventions for our wedding and I think it made it a better day.

I can never quite get the idea of an A list and B list for the guests…

When the meal was over and everyone was let into the disco thing at some point cheese and biscuits and some sandwiches were put out buffet style.

Last wedding i went to was at 2pm. Plenty of time for breakfast and lunch. Buffet at 6 then home before midnight.

but I’m in Wales, so we may do things differently. OP specifically mentions English weddings.

I don’t really understand the lack of personal responsibility folks have. It’s like they get invited to a wedding so deem they can’t possibly feed themselves that day

Not always a possibility if you don't drive and the venue is in the middle of nowhere and you are not sure when food might or might not be provided.

It isn't unreasonable to expect to be fed and watered at a wedding at appropriate times.

A wedding reception is a party and the bride and groom are the hosts. A host looks after their guests by providing food and drink.

but I’m in Wales, so we may do things differently. OP specifically mentions English weddings.

I’ve attended weddings in England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland and haven’t noticed any huge differences in format. They have all been variations on a common theme.

I think this is one thing they do far better abroad- so Spanish, Italian weddings start much later - about 5 and nobody is hungry.

I’ve never understood the need to start at 11am - unless you’re finishing by 4.

I think this is one thing they do far better abroad- so Spanish, Italian weddings

According to this blog, Spanish weddings last 12+ hours…

www.lasmorenasdeespana.com/blog/weddings-in-spain#:~:text=Whereas%20your%20typical%20wedding%20in,last%20until%20midnight%20at%20least.

We had a fantastic wedding & family & friends still talk about it 19 years later!

We got married at 2pm in Church. The venue was about 10mins away so not a long drive

We got married in December so thr venue had open fires & Christmas trees & fairy lights - it was really pretty. We had a mulled wine welcome reception with hot canapés & tea / coffee & a string quartet playing while people mingled & chatted to each other

At 5pm we went to the dining room & we had a 3 course meal. There was a choice of 4 different things for each course & wine flowing. The food was spectacular & once everyone was served they came back around with seconds of fillet of beef or lamb cutlets & extra vegetables etc

After dinner we had a couple of short speeches & a champagne toast. Followed by a free bar.

The tables were cleared & we had an amazing band who played disco funk with a brass section -the dance floor was heaving.

At about 10pm we had bacon sandwiches & incredible chocolate cup cakes (instead of cake ) tea & coffee

Then we had a dj till 2am..pretty much everyone stayed in the venue & so the older generation drifted off to bed.& we all decanted to the residents bar where there was a single song (lots of musicians at our wedding)

Our photographer took casual shots of people chatting & only a handful of posed ones - I hate those cheesy posed wedding photos so we didn't lose hours to that

Next morning we all had breakfast & a post mortem of the night before.

It's still one of my favourite days ever ever, topped only by dd's birth!

No-one went hungry or thirsty at our wedding!

Our wedding was not in UK

I got married at home at 3 pm. Ceremony lasted less than 10 minutes.

Loads of drink options, canapés while BBQ got going. Huge BBQ with salads, potatoes, breads etc. All happening when we had photos done but 80% of our photos are reportage, not staged.

Entertainment, bouncy castle to keep the kids happy and then we walked to the local hotel for an evening reception (yes, standard in Scotland) where we had more guests, DJ and the hotel did a decent buffet. Free bar all evening and it finished at midnight.

I don't think you can get married at home in England.

I completely agree. I went to a couple of these ridiculous all-dayers when I was younger (and didn't have the sense to pack emergency snacks), and I do recall a few where people were absolutely trollied by 4pm or practically passing out from hunger.

Depending on where you're travelling to, you could be leaving pretty early for an 11am ceremony and if you're not a habitual eater of breakfasts, means you have to eat quite a lot at a time that doesn't necessarily sit comfortably with you.

Fortunately, I've noticed a recent trend (certainly among my social circle, who, in fairness, are a bit older now - we're getting the 2.0 invites these days) for later, quicker ceremonies: 2.30/3pm, done and dusted in about 45 minutes max, then a short drinks reception, meaning you sit down for dinner at about 5pm. Most weddings I've been to will then have a fairly substantial snack (generally filled rolls or stovies - I'm Scottish - and cake) at around 10pm.

Generally speaking, that means you can either have brunch or an early lunch beforehand, then you're eating your main meal at a relatively normal time for most people.

Personally, I blame photographers for these insane gaps in wedding days - whipping off the bride and groom for mammoth, contrived three-hour photo sessions while their guests stand about like spare parts. This seems to be falling out of fashion, though.

I was worried about this so I had a 4.30pm ceremony, took couple photos before hand so as not to keep our guests waiting around and plied them all with plenty of champagne and food at the reception at 6pm! Everyone said they had a good time and if they didn't, can't do much about it now! I had a great day 😁

I went to a wedding, in North Yorkshire, in December. We spend two hours outside while the bride insisted on every possible combination of friends and family photos outside the venue.
Everyone was so cold and pissed off by the end of it.

Luckily, I think photographers are changing style a lot at wedding. Ours we have asked just for one picture of everyone, one of dh and i, and the rest is just as hoc mingled pictures, not staged. So no waiting around bored.