Incident at Nursery, how much do I lose my shit over it?

[CerseiForTheWin]

Name changed as Ive been sounding off about this so much that it could be recognisable.

DS started nursery a few weeks back, he’s ten months old. I didn’t want him to go particularly but I have to work and that’s a whole other thread. No family nearby to help, just me DH and DS. He does 3.5 days and I compress full time hours to have him for the other 1.5 days.

I have been thinking they were a bit rubbish with a few aspects, like not really helping him with his bottle so it’s either going all over his clothes and he had a rash on his chest from it, or he’s not really bothering to drink at all. He doesn’t eat much yet really so the formula is definitely still an important part of his diet. Added to that they’re crap with updates, I have no real idea what he does in there all day, all we get at pick up is ‘he’s been really good today’ what does that even mean?!

Anyway, got the dreaded nursery phone call at work on Friday. They emphasised the fact that he was ‘absolutely fine’ but had a slight injury to his fingers as they’ve got trapped in a door that someone opened. I thought we’ll that’s a bit shit why was he near the door but they said he’d just ‘grazed’ his fingers but had had lots of cuddles and was fine.

DH picked up- he’s not fine, he’s had the skin taken off the ends of two of his fingers. They’ve not dressed it or anything, it’s just raw. Apparently it looked worse than it was because he kept putting his fingers in his mouth. Duh. The key worker waved the accident form at DH and he signed it but frustratingly didn’t know he was supposed to receive a copy. She didn’t give him one. He says he just wanted to get DS home but was shocked at how bad it looked. So I don’t know exactly what happened.

have included a pic. Keeping the fingers clean is a nightmare. They’re really sore.

Obviously I’m really angry. I’ll email and have a meeting with the manger as I want to know exactly what happened. How mad would you go if it was your baby, and has anybody had any similar indecent happen at their nursery?

looking at pulling him out to go somewhere else too but slightly stuck for availability for the times we need and location but have started enquiring.

I’m definitely not over reacting am I ? Incidentally I work in childcare myself in a different capacity and in 14 years of that have never caused injury to a child in any way. The kind of accidents I might expect are bumps and falls etc but this is something else.

This happened on Friday?

Op, going forward I would urge you to respond a lot quicker than two days later

and no words for your DH….

Your poor baby. I would go absolutely mental, no child should be injured due to negligence at nursery. Sorry you’re having to deal with this and I hope you’re able to find alternative childcare.

If it turns out they are burns then I imagine it could be that the nursery were doing something they absolutely know they shouldn’t be, like leaving a boiling hot cup of tea unattended, hence the less incriminating ‘trapped in a door’ excuse. It’s possible they could be friction burns I suppose but difficult to see how that could happen by being trapped in a door. Poor little one, hope he recovers asap. And, of course, if you do to get to the bottom of this you will be helping to protect the other children left in their care.

OP, just a note - it needs to be kept dressed and moist to aid healing. I'd definitely get it looked at and properly dressed. Poor thing, I hope he's ok.

Bullshit was that from being trapped in a door! Poor love.Get him seen by a HCP it might need dressing.

You need to get to the bottom of what's happened. Before you go in all guns blazing write a very very calm request to review the CCTV, tell them you want to see exactly what he did so you can avoid at home. You don't want them getting rid of it,

They're lying. I wouldn't send him again and I once I'd got the whole story I would go fucking nuclear.

This is from a mum of two who've been through nursery with all the usual bumps and scrapes and who has never once made a fuss about it because accidents absolutely happen. My child fell and smashed her face the other week, whacked her top cheek/bottom eye area so hard that I'm surprised it didn't split wide open and her face was black by the time I collected her. She had a shiner. It was an accident 🤷🏼‍♀️, they reacted appropriately, iced it, cuddled her, did the right paperwork and rang me to let me know. Kids fall, they get bitten and whacked by others etc.

But that's not right, somethings happened there that shouldn't have. Likely not deliberate (I hope!!) but likely negligent.

BAD BAD BAD ….. report this please poor little mite if this was my daughter I’d be killing someone unfortunately I’m so possessive she’s my only miracle ivf baby for anyone who thinks I’m been exaggerating xxx

I hope you've heeded advice and sought medical advice. Filing complaints and contacting new nurseries should come second to ensuring your child's welfare 😟

I presume he grabbed a hot drink or something like that?

Every nursery I have ever been in has those incredibly slow and soft closing doors

I agree with all the PPs who say something doesn't add up. My fingers were trapped in a door when I was 6 and it fractured the bone, it didn't peel skin off the pads.

However, having recently had to go to minor injuries with a chemical burn on the pad of my thumb, that looks much more in line with the photo you've attached. Poor little lamb, it looks bloody sore.

Looks like he has dipped his fingers in a hot drink!

You've been warned now and you should have trusted your instincts.
Get him out of there pronto.
He could have lost his fingers (I knew this to happen to a toddler).
I've also known a baby get his head shut in a door.

Yep your not over reacting. No way that was a door. Move him and put in a formal complaint.

I've had a lot of squashed fingers, I still have the scar across my thumb joint from trapping it in a car door which then locked, how my thumb wasn't broken I don't know.

Not entirely sure I agree it is definitely a burn though - it looks like thick blistering thats been torn off, burns cause blisters, but so can friction, so can pinching.

I don't see how he's got that bit of his fingers anywhere in a door that can pinch though - I would absolutely want someone to show me EXACTLY what happened on the door it happened on.. and if they say they don't know, didn't see... thats a massive problem, what on earth were they doing that they didn't see!

That's not a door injury..

I was just about to comment that this does not look like it happened by trapping his hand in a door.

Whenever I have trapped my hand in a door, the fingers throb and maybe swell. They are bruised but the skin does not blister or come off like in that picture.

Surely there is CCTV? I would be demanding to see it.

This very much looks like a burn. They have let him grab a hot drink or food utensil that is too hot and is my guess.

As the parent of two children who’ve had finger burns (yes…even I’m surprised SS didn’t get involved!).
first child touched a hot iron in the split second I turned round to grab something from behind me. Second child picked up a plugged in soldering iron that his dad was sure he’d put out of the way.

Those injuries look like burns! I’d be gunning for the nursery because someone is covering something.

Get it looked at.

In the meantime bandage it, then put something like a sock over the top and use plenty of micropore/similar (or even masking tape) to stick the sock to his sleeve (long sleeve obviously).

Op

whays your plan for Tuesday when you are back at work?

Irrespective of burn or fingers in door, not a chance my child would be back in that nursery.

and sure as flipping heck not a 10 month baby

You can’t do anything with the nursery today

but this afternoon you can focus on setting up short term childcare and researching nurseries and sending emails to enquire about availability.

That is in no way, a trapped in the door injury.

I would be seeking medical help for that because it looks like it could easily get infected, and I would be blowing up at the nursery for the truth too

Wow
that looks so sore
i would get that looked at
I would give regular pain relief - calpol it must be very sore
i would report it to OFSTED - nursery environments can’t be bomb proof but door safety is a pretty predictable health and safety issue that they should have mitigated against - something has gone wrong here

that is how I would be spending my Sunday in your shoes. I suggest you get off mumsnet because atm just a load of speculation re whether burn or fingers caught.
both warrant removal from the setting
the former, which will take time to establish has implications in terms of you reporting

but at present my entire focus would be to get a plan together so my child does not return.

and then when all sorted - I’d probably be looking at my passive DH and thinking WTF?

Hi. I’m sorry this happened to your DC, hoping they’re okay!
This does look sore. I’m a baby room leader and can say I’ve never done this to a babies fingers although of course accidents can happen. That is not a graze and you we’re definitely given the wrong information on the phone.

in terms of updates, you should definitely receive more. We give detailed hand overs for each child, especially the little ones! And also write a home sheet which goes home with each child to inform parents of their child’s day. A baby should definitely be given support to have their milk. Should actually be a nice moment between key child and key person.
I really don’t think you’re overreacting. There’s some amazing childcare options out there, including nurseries, childminders, nannies, please don’t settle for one that you’re not happy with. Accidents happen but I can completely see why you dont feel this is acceptable, I definitely would agree with you.

How on earth do you get the tips of your fingers caught in the door at that angle?! That looks like a burn...