Incident at Nursery, how much do I lose my shit over it?

[CerseiForTheWin]

Name changed as Ive been sounding off about this so much that it could be recognisable.

DS started nursery a few weeks back, he’s ten months old. I didn’t want him to go particularly but I have to work and that’s a whole other thread. No family nearby to help, just me DH and DS. He does 3.5 days and I compress full time hours to have him for the other 1.5 days.

I have been thinking they were a bit rubbish with a few aspects, like not really helping him with his bottle so it’s either going all over his clothes and he had a rash on his chest from it, or he’s not really bothering to drink at all. He doesn’t eat much yet really so the formula is definitely still an important part of his diet. Added to that they’re crap with updates, I have no real idea what he does in there all day, all we get at pick up is ‘he’s been really good today’ what does that even mean?!

Anyway, got the dreaded nursery phone call at work on Friday. They emphasised the fact that he was ‘absolutely fine’ but had a slight injury to his fingers as they’ve got trapped in a door that someone opened. I thought we’ll that’s a bit shit why was he near the door but they said he’d just ‘grazed’ his fingers but had had lots of cuddles and was fine.

DH picked up- he’s not fine, he’s had the skin taken off the ends of two of his fingers. They’ve not dressed it or anything, it’s just raw. Apparently it looked worse than it was because he kept putting his fingers in his mouth. Duh. The key worker waved the accident form at DH and he signed it but frustratingly didn’t know he was supposed to receive a copy. She didn’t give him one. He says he just wanted to get DS home but was shocked at how bad it looked. So I don’t know exactly what happened.

have included a pic. Keeping the fingers clean is a nightmare. They’re really sore.

Obviously I’m really angry. I’ll email and have a meeting with the manger as I want to know exactly what happened. How mad would you go if it was your baby, and has anybody had any similar indecent happen at their nursery?

looking at pulling him out to go somewhere else too but slightly stuck for availability for the times we need and location but have started enquiring.

I’m definitely not over reacting am I ? Incidentally I work in childcare myself in a different capacity and in 14 years of that have never caused injury to a child in any way. The kind of accidents I might expect are bumps and falls etc but this is something else.

Have they left one of their radiators switched on accidentally (or it may be faulty) and your DC touched that? I'd go in all guns blazing tomorrow. Has your child been checked over by the GP/Hospital?

I would say it was done by a hot drink, or touching something metal during the heat wave.

The nursery were negligent and that kid needs to see a doctor

Trapped in the door? The fingers could be broken then?

OP if your son is injured like this again, please seek medical advice a lot sooner, even seeking a pharmacists advice.

Also, my daughter trapped her fingers under a door and it looked like this so don't assume the nursery is lying without having a medical professional give their opinion. Burn or door injury, he can't go back to that nursery.

This is terrible.
If he is only 10months, he probably not walking yet so how and why he would be at the door?
Also now and why they would have hot drinks/ hot utensils near a such small children?
Thats shocking!

how much do you lose your shit? Totally. Then you do a shit raising appeal on social media and go lose the donated shiot as well.

That is shocking...in all the years my kids have gone to a nursery not one has sustained an injury like your babies. He is a baby and they have been negligent. I would contact the out of hours ofstead and safeguarding for the local area in the council.

if your in the UK have a look on here

www.gov.uk/complain-about-childcare

Your poor son,what a really horrible thing to have happened to him
In your situation I would not be sending him back, totally unacceptable and the milk sounds really poor as well.
Good luck!

I agree with others looks like a burn and I would 100% lose my 💩 over this. Its not so much he had an accident at nursery its more the way they've handled it and seems like their lying about what actually happened

Op any injury to the front of his fingers like bruising if it was a door injury would be Both side.

I also second that it looks like a burn x

Looks like he put his fingers in a socket that wasn't baby proofed.

I work in childcare as a agency nursery teacher. All doors should be slow closing with the frames baby proofed.

Babys have a higher ratio so that they can be watched all the time.

I would report to ofsted, but first go to the pharmacy to get clarification that it is a burn.

I have experience of the scenario which is spookily similar! The nursery tried to minimise what had happened, took advantage of my child being upset at pick up to give DH the accident form and didn’t give full details of the accident. My son had been allowed to play on his own with a tent pole which then got stuck in the grass, he tripped and the pole went into his mouth. DH was told “he had grazed his mouth with a toy”

I asked for a full report the following day with statements from the staff involved which then didn’t match the scant accident form. We still pulled him out of the nursery and it was the best thing as his new nursery was incredible and reinforced the niggles we had about the original one. I also reported to ofsted who visited the following week but the nursery somehow managed to bag a good rating which now also makes me take their reports with a pinch of salt!

I just showed the picture to my DH. He said, “Burn.” I told him about the door story. He said, “Not unless the door’s metal and has been in the sun for a year.”
Obviously this is no help whatsoever, but I would start the official process of losing my shit. Someone on here will know the complaints process, I hope (apologies - nrtft).
Your poor boy :(

OP I'm not a helicopter parent by any means and I'm a doctor but I'd definitely get that looked at. It probably needs dressing. Also, if you're raising this as a safeguarding concern (which I would fully recommend btw) then you will get taken much more seriously if you take the injury seriously and do something about it. I am not saying this definitely couldn't be a door injury but I agree it looks more like a burn. Even if it was a door injury it would have to have gotten caught in the door pretty forcefully to cause that and I'd want to know how exactly it was allowed to happen. I thought all nurseries had to have CCTV? I'd be demanding to see it urgently. I wouldn't be sending my baby back there no way. The relationship is severed now regardless of what comes to light. It needs a referral urgently to Ofsed too. I hope you're baby is better soon and you find a nice alternative nursery xx

@CerseiForTheWin that looks really sore and it definitely looks more like a burn of some sort even possibly a bleach / cleaning fluid burn... they're not telling the truth here and are covering up exactly what happened... I wouldn't trust them again and certainly not with a 10 month old who isn't even being hydrated properly with his bottle... you need to take him out and not have regrets no matter how difficult it is for your work situation, your DS is more important and that nursery is slapdash to put it mildly...

you are not being unreasonable at all.

I'm sure you’ve got a contract with the nursery? If so, have a read through the clauses with respect to keeping parents informed of any health and safety matters.

It seems to me they’ve not kept him safe (obviously) and there’s clearly a health concern (his poor fingers seem super painful) so depending on what the agreement says, you could go after them for breach of contract.

i suggest you contact the nursery demanding from them, under GDPR (your son is a minor therefore you can request this):

a) the relevant form they didn’t provide to your husband in relation to your sons injury;
b) all relevant documents in relation to your son and this injury (this includes any internal emails and so on);
c) inform them you’re considering contacting the local authority (I assume they’re registered); and
d) put them on notice that you’ll not be sending your child back to nursery AND you’ll not be paying for the fees (as agreed under any contract due to their material breach of their obligations (to keep your child safe(!!!) and this will continue until and unless you are provided with the above information without undue delay, and that you can reasonably satisfy yourself of their safety procedures.

do not let this go OP. Accidents happen, for sure. But it’s the way they’ve behaved after the event which is appalling.

Haven’t read whole thread @CerseiForTheWin but I’m sorry for you and your son as that looks painful. I’d be taking him out if there due to the deception as well.

I would go nuclear!!
Poor soul

A door causes a crush injury. Any crush injury that was severe enough to rip the skin off like that would probably cause serious flesh damage and possibly broken bones. So if it is a crush injury he needs his fingers x-rayed! I don’t think it is a crush injury though. Take him to A&E asap.

I remember picking up my 18 month old from nursery staff said she'd spilled soup down herself. My daughter told me once in the car that the staff had done it. They do lie to cover themselves . This should never have happened and I would be kicking off personally

It looks like he has touched something really hot and it has burn the skin off. They are not telling the truth. First off, I would get a doctor to look at it as you do not know what you are dealing with, whether it is a cut from trapped in a doorway, which could have crushed his fingers, or a burn. They need different treatment. I would also want the doc to tell me, no it is a burn, if it is such.

Clearly it is not a decent nursery. Is there anyone else who could look after him like a childminder. I knew a few from my DC's school and some of them were wonderful.

This is utter rubbish about the socket. All U.K sockets need the Earth pin pushing in to even open access to the lower two holes and if this child had actually managed to get his little fingers into a 230V socket to the live section then he would have been electrocuted.

Those are not electrical burns.

That never should have happened at a nursery! All doors should be slam proofed as I imagine most people do at home let alone in a nursery setting! Poor bubba x

I just want to say that I burned the top third of my fingers as an adult when I
slipped and grabbed the edge of the electric cooker where a ring had been left on (unknowingly). It was incredibly painful and I nearlypassed out with pain that came in waves for the next couple of days. It was so bad (lots of nerve endings in the tops of fingers that I went to the local little cottage hospital where I was given pain relief and had to return for daily dressing changes until they were happy ot was healing without infection. For pain reasons alone your poor baby needs that looked at by a medical professional today if possible. Those burns are obviously smaller than mine but in the same supersensitive area. He must be in agony.

I've just spotted this below on a nursery website.

"Heuristic play for children aged 0-2 years old

Heuristic play is about playing with real-life, everyday objects and providing kids with an opportunity for open-ended discovery. When children are involved in heuristic play, they are using familiar objects in different way."

I wonder if he was given something to play with that was metal and had been left on a windowsill. Just a thought.