Incident at Nursery, how much do I lose my shit over it?

[CerseiForTheWin]

Name changed as Ive been sounding off about this so much that it could be recognisable.

DS started nursery a few weeks back, he’s ten months old. I didn’t want him to go particularly but I have to work and that’s a whole other thread. No family nearby to help, just me DH and DS. He does 3.5 days and I compress full time hours to have him for the other 1.5 days.

I have been thinking they were a bit rubbish with a few aspects, like not really helping him with his bottle so it’s either going all over his clothes and he had a rash on his chest from it, or he’s not really bothering to drink at all. He doesn’t eat much yet really so the formula is definitely still an important part of his diet. Added to that they’re crap with updates, I have no real idea what he does in there all day, all we get at pick up is ‘he’s been really good today’ what does that even mean?!

Anyway, got the dreaded nursery phone call at work on Friday. They emphasised the fact that he was ‘absolutely fine’ but had a slight injury to his fingers as they’ve got trapped in a door that someone opened. I thought we’ll that’s a bit shit why was he near the door but they said he’d just ‘grazed’ his fingers but had had lots of cuddles and was fine.

DH picked up- he’s not fine, he’s had the skin taken off the ends of two of his fingers. They’ve not dressed it or anything, it’s just raw. Apparently it looked worse than it was because he kept putting his fingers in his mouth. Duh. The key worker waved the accident form at DH and he signed it but frustratingly didn’t know he was supposed to receive a copy. She didn’t give him one. He says he just wanted to get DS home but was shocked at how bad it looked. So I don’t know exactly what happened.

have included a pic. Keeping the fingers clean is a nightmare. They’re really sore.

Obviously I’m really angry. I’ll email and have a meeting with the manger as I want to know exactly what happened. How mad would you go if it was your baby, and has anybody had any similar indecent happen at their nursery?

looking at pulling him out to go somewhere else too but slightly stuck for availability for the times we need and location but have started enquiring.

I’m definitely not over reacting am I ? Incidentally I work in childcare myself in a different capacity and in 14 years of that have never caused injury to a child in any way. The kind of accidents I might expect are bumps and falls etc but this is something else.

Not sure if this has been suggested but I wonder if he's burnt his fingers outside? Maybe on something hot the sun has been shining on? Windowsill inside?
If he's got burnt and cried it may not be obvious why he's crying.
Later if he got fingers in door and was seen/ cried it may be they noticed his fingers then?

Brace yourself for a pack of lies or a heartbreaking explanation.

Don't let this drop.
Nurserys are awful a lot of the time.
I sent mine there as had no choice and saw the constant issues where staff were not great (this was an expensive outstanding nursery).

Hope he heals soon.

If his fingers got trapped under the door it could be a friction burn. What does the other side of his fingers look like?

Metal objects can get very hot in the sun. Is there any chance that he touched a hot railing or similar?

Poor boy. With a 'good' rating you had every reason to trust the nursery, but I think you are wise to now look elsewhere. The lack of feeding support would be enough to change.

Oh your poor baby, that looks so sore.

Echoing everyone else that it doesn't look like a door injury at all

I am the most relaxed parent ever about minor injuries but I would be getting that seen by a doctor today even if that means A&E - not because I think it's a medical emergency as such but because I think it's a safeguarding issue and that the nursery may have lied about how it was caused. It needs a professional assessment of the injury to make sure you're giving it the right care.

that is definitely NOT a slight squish

Were his fingers caught UNDER the door rather than caught in the side/hinge part? Thats the only thing that makes sense to me looking at that picture. Absolutely you should have been asked to come check on him immediately, no good to anyone seeing this injury on a baby on a friday evening when he could have been medically checked earlier. Definitely escalate this as far as manager to begin with and as part of it ask what steps are they taking to prevent this from happening again? I know you are probably goibg to take him out but for all the other babies they need to be forced to take preventative measures.

Another who thinks it looks more like a burn, I wouldn't blame you for complaining to Ofsted and never taking him back there.

Just how the fuck does a baby end up with that sort of injury?
Nope. Nope.

I hope he's feeling better soon.

I wouldn’t be concerned about anything you’ve said other than that it looks like a burn and they may be lying about what happened - in which case I’d be furious. I’d take him to the GP and see if they can determine the cause of the injury. If it’s a burn I’d pull him out and report them to OFSTED.

(My DS also recently trapped his finger in a door at nursery - he’s obsessed with doors so
I was not surprised. In fact I think he’s done it twice now but it didn’t look like that either time (not nice but in a different way, bruised with blood trapped under his nail).

I've had a similar looking injury before from too much pressure/friction on skin, so I'm not necessarily in the burn camp. (Maybe friction burn.)

But what I will say is that when the skin comes off like that, spray on plaster hurts like a bitch. Unless the doctor in the video call gives you better advice, I'd be tempted to just keep the wound clean and tape a clean sandwich bag on his hand with medical tape, and avoid the spray on stuff. Actually, the sandwich bag would work for an actual burn too.

Poor wee mite. That looks really painful and it will take ages to heal up.

Agree that contacting 111 was the best thing to do. I would be pulling him from somewhere that think a 10month old baby isn’t reliant on milk and isn’t feeding him! Agree it looks like a burn and they should have called you

@CerseiForTheWin

Lawyer here and aside from the medical side of things I'd do the following:

1. Telephone nursery first thing tomorrow and email them requesting an appointment to discuss the incident.

1. Ask them to email you the accident report form prior to the meeting you have so that you can go over it in detail.

1. Did any other staff members witness the incident?

1. Keep photographic evidence of your son's injuries.

5 ask for a photo of the alleged door in question.

6.ask for their complaints procedure.

Good luck and your son gets better soon.

This ^^

Jesus, poor little mite. I was in catering most of my working life and they do indeed look like burn injuries. Burning the ends of your fingers is so painful due to all the nerve endings in them. I feel like crying for him.

Aww OP, your poor boy. I’m not surprised you’re furious. I agree with others that it certainly looks more like a burn than from his fingers getting trapped.

I also agree that the “he’s been really good today” comments are annoying. It’s all DS’s preschool says every. Single. Time.

"betterthanaluckypenny
I'd be tempted to just keep the wound clean and tape a clean sandwich bag on his hand with medical tape, and avoid the spray on stuff. Actually, the sandwich bag would work for an actual burn too."
Or cling film as it's apparently sterile, taught this on a peadiatric1st aid course.
And another that say A&E/OoH today...

Poor baby, that’s a shocking injury to have happened in a care setting and it’s not as insignificant as the nursery are making it out to be.

I would take him to out of hours today if possible, not only to get advice on how to appropriately dress/clean the wound and check for bone damage, but also to formally log the incident and see what the doctors think the injury is likely to have been caused by. They are trained to make make judgements on injuries for child protection purposes, so they will have a good idea.

Tomorrow, go to the nursery and calmly demand they give you the full account and the paperwork. This should have been completed immediately and already be on record. Find out exactly how it happened, which door and who was supervising at the time, where they were at the time and what they saw. And ask to see their own accident log to make sure they are filing it. Note down all responses. Then speak to the relevant organisation (Ofsted?) to report everything they did/said/had on record.

I had a similar incident when my grandad was in a care home and it turned out they had lied to me about the accident and reason for hospital admission and they had falsified both their accident log and communication record. He died shortly after from something that could very well have been caused by this negligence but it couldn’t be proved as he had other age-related conditions. No one really cares when they’re on the way out anyway. I reported to the care quality commission and it turned out they already had a few cases against them and this was the final complaint they needed to take serious action.

However stressful to pursue, for everyone in their care’s sake this must be followed up.

I would take him to out of hours today if possible, not only to get advice on how to appropriately dress/clean the wound and check for bone damage, but also to formally log the incident and see what the doctors think the injury is likely to have been caused by. They are trained to make make judgements on injuries for child protection purposes, so they will have a good idea.

Please do this OP. Your poor little one that looks so, so sore 😞

Sandwich bag is a good idea.

Your instinct is never wrong . Yes accidents happen but from everything you’ve said you have doubts. Look else where and have peace of mind that your child is safe and well cared for.

Is he walking?
Because I don't understand how a 10 month old BABY can be near enough to a door to have his fingers jammed in it if he's not mobile.
Get medical advice, and then ask the nursery first of all for the report and secondly ask them to explain what actually happened.
I wondering aobut their safety procedures tbh.
Hope he heals quickly.

This is a clear safeguarding issue, possibly even neglect and you are quite right to be furious! The nursery should have a first aid policy and a complaints one, which you should ask for and then you write a letter to the owners, the council (that issue their license) and Ofsted detailing the incident, the lack of care and your anger. The nursery and staff have failed to keep your child safe.

If fingers get shut in a door medical treatment should have been sought, an X ray might be needed to check for a broken bone but a doctor would need to decide if that was necessary.
The nursery sounds unsafe, I suggest you take parental leave until you find a nanny/chlldminder/nursery place.
Make sure you report your concerns to Ofsted as safeguarding concerns, which both the incident and your concern over not feeding are.

I’m more of a hardy parent than your average mum

Cooler than the other girls!

You're definitely not overreacting OP. Glad your DS isn't too unhappy, and sorry you're having this stress to deal with.

That's awful OP ☹️

For some perspective, when my daughter was 2 she trapped her finger in a door at nursery - it cut off the tip of her little finger (almost) She had to have an operation under GA to have it fixed.

Her nursery took her immediately to A&E, called me, one of the workers stayed with us in A&E. They filled out the forms, called a meeting with us, let us watch the CCTV. They also compensated us a month's nursery fee and fitted finger guards to the outer doors (they had them on inside doors as they absolutely should, but not on 2 outer doors, one of which was the door my daughter trapped her fingers in). The day of her operation, her key worker came round with a Teddy for DD and to check she was ok as she just felt so awful the accident had happened on her watch.

Realistically I know the nursery fee being waived was guilt money, as we probably could have reported them to the council. However, they dealt with everything very well.

By your account, your son's nursery are trying to avoid any responsibility. Also, I agree that actually his injuries look more like burns, though I'm not a doctor.

I've just shown that picture (without giving any context) to my DP who is advanced first aid trained and did a refresher course very recently. He took one look and said "that's a burn".