Incident at Nursery, how much do I lose my shit over it?

[CerseiForTheWin]

Name changed as Ive been sounding off about this so much that it could be recognisable.

DS started nursery a few weeks back, he’s ten months old. I didn’t want him to go particularly but I have to work and that’s a whole other thread. No family nearby to help, just me DH and DS. He does 3.5 days and I compress full time hours to have him for the other 1.5 days.

I have been thinking they were a bit rubbish with a few aspects, like not really helping him with his bottle so it’s either going all over his clothes and he had a rash on his chest from it, or he’s not really bothering to drink at all. He doesn’t eat much yet really so the formula is definitely still an important part of his diet. Added to that they’re crap with updates, I have no real idea what he does in there all day, all we get at pick up is ‘he’s been really good today’ what does that even mean?!

Anyway, got the dreaded nursery phone call at work on Friday. They emphasised the fact that he was ‘absolutely fine’ but had a slight injury to his fingers as they’ve got trapped in a door that someone opened. I thought we’ll that’s a bit shit why was he near the door but they said he’d just ‘grazed’ his fingers but had had lots of cuddles and was fine.

DH picked up- he’s not fine, he’s had the skin taken off the ends of two of his fingers. They’ve not dressed it or anything, it’s just raw. Apparently it looked worse than it was because he kept putting his fingers in his mouth. Duh. The key worker waved the accident form at DH and he signed it but frustratingly didn’t know he was supposed to receive a copy. She didn’t give him one. He says he just wanted to get DS home but was shocked at how bad it looked. So I don’t know exactly what happened.

have included a pic. Keeping the fingers clean is a nightmare. They’re really sore.

Obviously I’m really angry. I’ll email and have a meeting with the manger as I want to know exactly what happened. How mad would you go if it was your baby, and has anybody had any similar indecent happen at their nursery?

looking at pulling him out to go somewhere else too but slightly stuck for availability for the times we need and location but have started enquiring.

I’m definitely not over reacting am I ? Incidentally I work in childcare myself in a different capacity and in 14 years of that have never caused injury to a child in any way. The kind of accidents I might expect are bumps and falls etc but this is something else.

You need to take him to A&E right now. That’s a burn, it could get infected, he needs an urgent assessment. Please don’t wait!

The centre may have been clinically negligent. I’d deal with the hospital visit first so you have the facts and if they’ve lied and it is a burn I’d consider getting the police involved.

There shouldn't be a door that children (babies/toddlers/waddlers/pre-schoolers) could get their fingers caught in.

It does indicate a lack of attention being paid to the the toddlers/babies section in the nursery.

I'd ask to see their accident record and if necessary, take a photo of it with your phone. Then I'd ask to see their accident policy (as in what they do if there is an accident during their care time with a child).
I'd also ask how many adults were on duty in the room that your child was in. There are rules around the ratio of children to adults and see if that was being followed.

I would find it very difficult to return a child to their care if they couldn't guarantee their safety.

Your poor baby was in their care, got injured in their care and they didn't seem to care about that.

It wasn't "too late to do anything" your dh was negligent not taking him to minor injuries/A and E /ringing 111. Why have you just left him without getting him checked?

I think you need to get that looked at by a doctor. It looks so painful.

That’s what I thought. Doesn’t look like trapped fingers. I’d be asking to review the cctv for this. If they don’t use cctv, I’d definitely leave.

The top layer of skin has been taken off! I'd go to A&E or at the very least a pharmacist today. I'd also do as PPs have said and ask for a detailed explanation of how it happened and what they will do to safeguard your child and other children in their care from this ever happening again.

You are 100% not overreacting.

@CerseiForTheWin not sure if this has been said but I imagine it's a friction burn. Not that it makes the incident, or their response to it, acceptable - but it could well have happened in the way they said.

My DS stuck his fingers in the hoover and ended up with something similar 😂🙈 I can laugh because it was on my watch of course, but yes it should be taken seriously.

We rang 111 who suggested minor injuries or A&E (by that time of evening) to get it dressed properly. DS then also had 3 outpatient apps to check on the healing and get it redressed.

Hope that helps and, as someone who also had to put DC in nursery before one, if you're not completely comfortable with the care given then I think you're right to be looking elsewhere.

YANBU the poor little mite! You can’t correct this sort of poor set up I don’t think, either the nursery is good or it’s bad, the difference when you have a great nursery is amazing.

Your poor baby.

I'd go absolutely fucking ballistic. How and why was he left by a bloody door?! Wtaf. That is not a graze either.

They sound utterly shit. I'd actually be fuming. It's neglect. No one was watching him.

I agree it needs to be seen by a doctor. I’m shocked a baby could get near a door.

I’m thinking it must be very sore for him yes but I’m not being negligent, and he honestly has been his usual happy self. It has dried out a lot from that first picture but I am keeping an eye. But I’m taking on board the advice about medical treatment and have contacted 111 who are going to offer a video chat with a doctor. I’m just waiting.

Your poor boy. 😢

I’m not sure this is one for a pharmacist- I’d prefer to get it reviewed at walk-in or paediatric A&E if you have one. From the photo, it doesn’t look like a door injury.

Urgent meeting with misery manager tomorrow to get copy of form and a full explanation - ask them to show you the door and how it happened. Ask why he was allowed to be that close to the door.

Totally agree with the bottle issues being really awful, too, due to neglect at feeding time, leaving him in wet clothes leading to a rash, and also the worry about his hydration, especially during this hot weather.

My nursery gave written and verbal updates at pick up that included what was drunk and eaten and when, nappy change info, sleep timings, what they did that day and details of specific developmental play and how they progressed with it. These guys sound like clowns, so I’d be looking to move and complain to council and Ofsted unless they 100% reassure you that your son is safe and well cared for. 🌺

That does not look like an injury from trapping fingers in the door, all doors should have guards to stop trapped fingers,

phone nursery first thing on Monday morning to arrange a meeting with management,

i work in early years, we fill in accident forms which are signed by management before phone call home or parents read the form, parents don’t get a copy of it though, so management should know about the accident.

I think I would definitely get those fingers checked out by a professional too, poor baby.

Just seen your update on 111 video - sounds good. Glad he is OK today.

I think they key to any nursery incident is how they communicate it to you and handle it thereafter. I was always relatively laid back as issues happen and in our case, the nursery would always be transparent and make changes if necessary. I don’t get a good vibe about this at all. In your shoes I would

• got to minor injuries today and get those fingers looked at
• meeting with the nursery tomorrow to calmly review what happened, get a copy of the paperwork and ask them about the timeframe for their investigation into the incident and when you will see the outcomes (I suspect their response to that will be ‘err, investigation?’)
• seek alternative childcare

That's a burn. Nursery are not telling you the truth.

It looks horrendous but it's not necessarily a burn. Heavy doors can cause damage and thy said skin was scrapped and then suckng is going to make it worse.
But it shouldn't have happened and they should have dressed or covered his fingers so he couldn't suck them.
Have a meeting if it will help you make sense of what happened but your trust in them has obviously been ruined now so don't send him back. You won't ever feel 100% confident or happy and will just be worrying.
Would your work let you have a break while you find other childcare? I totally understand how you feel about being away from him but do you think it's partly because of the childcare? Would a childminder be an option?

I’ve worked in a nursery, many years ago, and we definitely did give a copy of the accident form, it had yellow paper underneath white for this reason. DS bumped heads with another child during his settling week and I was handed a copy of that form.

Poor baby.

The not helping him feed himself alone is seriously negligent.

I’ve literally just started in a new job so it’s going to be hard to get them to give me any time off this soon. DH can juggle working from home for a few days. After that I’ll beg my mum to come and stay if necessary. Childminders are hard to come by here for the hours and location we need. The one that could do it had no available spots. I have contacted another nursery and am hoping to hear tomorrow if they potentially have a space. It’s more expensive but we’ll have to manage it.

thank you for all the advice, it’s making me feel better and definitely helping to get a grip on the situation and how to move forward.

It doesn’t look worse than it is, it is exactly as bad as it looks. I would look as hard as I could to find somewhere else, I know this is stating the obvious but have you checked nursery’s near your work or near DHs work rather than just local to your house? That might increase the chance of finding somewhere sooner.

The not doing the paperwork properly concerns me because what else are they skipping? Risk assessments? Safeguarding? Nappy changes?

That’s a burn! Poor toot 😩 I’d go
off my head!

I'd be very surprised if that's a door injury, to be honest - as most other posters have said, @CerseiForTheWin, that is more of a burn injury. Either way, if the fingertips are raw (and they do look it), then they need to be properly assessed in case of infection. We all know that babies that age are fascinated by sticking their fingers any- and everywhere, which is why they require nonstop supervision... but right now, that also means your baby is prone to getting an infection if those fingers aren't dressed. Take him to A&E if you don't have a Minor Injuries Unit. A paeds doctor will be able to tell you exactly what sort of an injury has been sustained.

As for how would I react if that was my child...? In all honesty, I wouldn't just hit the roof - I'd go through it. Your husband was in shock, probably, and his first parental instinct was to get your son out of there... I think that speaks volumes, personally. I would insist on a copy of the accident form (be prepared for them claiming to have lost it/deny all knowledge of any accident, however, from the sound of it) and report them to Ofsted. Including the ongoing problem with his bottles - because that, too, is negligent in my opinion; your baby needs that formula milk to keep developing/growing as he ought to, and it seems as though they're denying him that! .

Working mum guilt is shite, I know, but needs must. You need to work, for whatever reason(s), so your baby needs to be in childcare. However, you need to be able to trust that he's safe whilst apart from you - can you trust this nursary with his care again? Because I know that I wouldn't be able to. The worst accidents my two had in nursary were bumps to the head where they'd kmocked heads with another child, and ripped trousers/grazed knees where they'd tripped and fallen over whilst running. Fingers caught in doors didn't happen until school and on holiday with their grandparents...

I would not send my kid back to a nursery without door protection in place and who have not dealt with the situation properly since it happened.

If you do go back - ask which door - ask to see the doors and the safety measures. as well as asking them to go through the form. It really does sound negligent.