Incident at Nursery, how much do I lose my shit over it?

[CerseiForTheWin]

Name changed as Ive been sounding off about this so much that it could be recognisable.

DS started nursery a few weeks back, he’s ten months old. I didn’t want him to go particularly but I have to work and that’s a whole other thread. No family nearby to help, just me DH and DS. He does 3.5 days and I compress full time hours to have him for the other 1.5 days.

I have been thinking they were a bit rubbish with a few aspects, like not really helping him with his bottle so it’s either going all over his clothes and he had a rash on his chest from it, or he’s not really bothering to drink at all. He doesn’t eat much yet really so the formula is definitely still an important part of his diet. Added to that they’re crap with updates, I have no real idea what he does in there all day, all we get at pick up is ‘he’s been really good today’ what does that even mean?!

Anyway, got the dreaded nursery phone call at work on Friday. They emphasised the fact that he was ‘absolutely fine’ but had a slight injury to his fingers as they’ve got trapped in a door that someone opened. I thought we’ll that’s a bit shit why was he near the door but they said he’d just ‘grazed’ his fingers but had had lots of cuddles and was fine.

DH picked up- he’s not fine, he’s had the skin taken off the ends of two of his fingers. They’ve not dressed it or anything, it’s just raw. Apparently it looked worse than it was because he kept putting his fingers in his mouth. Duh. The key worker waved the accident form at DH and he signed it but frustratingly didn’t know he was supposed to receive a copy. She didn’t give him one. He says he just wanted to get DS home but was shocked at how bad it looked. So I don’t know exactly what happened.

have included a pic. Keeping the fingers clean is a nightmare. They’re really sore.

Obviously I’m really angry. I’ll email and have a meeting with the manger as I want to know exactly what happened. How mad would you go if it was your baby, and has anybody had any similar indecent happen at their nursery?

looking at pulling him out to go somewhere else too but slightly stuck for availability for the times we need and location but have started enquiring.

I’m definitely not over reacting am I ? Incidentally I work in childcare myself in a different capacity and in 14 years of that have never caused injury to a child in any way. The kind of accidents I might expect are bumps and falls etc but this is something else.

That’s a burn. Doesn’t look like it would have happened from trapping his fingers in the door.

take him out and contact ofsted.

my DS went to a nursery which seemed ok but I started to think he wasn’t entirely happy there anymore. After doing my own investigating - I found many wrong doings; one of them being that they wasn’t changing the babies nappies regularly and often wasn’t giving enough them food/ drink during the day but we’re telling me and other parents that the children ‘ate well’.

I contacted ofsted and whilst I’m not sure what the repercussion was; I was 100% sure my son would NOT be going back. I told other parents about the incident too.

I wonder if like my nephew's burn he used a radiator to pull himself up?

That's awful, I'm so sorry. I would expect a nursery, or any childcare setting to have anti finger trap arrangements on the doors. This shouldn't have happened.

It was 28 degrees that day, I don’t think the radiators would have been on.

That looks horrific. I think I'd be going to a&e or if you have a small accidents clinic and getting it checked today. You are best to have a medical record of this.

He must be in so much pain poor pet.

Definitely kick up a fuss.

Ouch! I'd be proper losing my shit (whilst being calm).

Fingers in door = bruises. That looks like a burn.
His skin is off!

Take this a lot further and do not send him back. For such an injury to occur in such a small time there ....

Hope he feels better sooner. I bet they were in his mouth he would have been trying to take the pain away. Poor baby!

I was thinking the same. It doesn’t look like they’ve been trapped in a door to me. Also there shouldn’t be doors that can close on their fingers in a room for under 2’s.
I’d be asking them to show you exactly what happened, which door etc.

I'm trying to work out how brewing trapped in a door could do that, or look like that?

Request a meeting and if at all possible, take someone with you who can ask any questions that you may forget in the stress of it.

Ask them to have CCTV footage ready to show you. If for any reason there is none, ask them to physically show you how it happened.

Ask the question then let them talk, don’t fill in the gaps.

They have a lot of explaining to do.

Ask for the copy of the incident report. Also raise the problem with the bottle feeding.

At the very least your baby needs to be safe, dry and fed but it doesn’t sound as though any of those things are happening.

This does not happen in good childcare environments. I really hope you can move him.

I think you need to take him to a doctors and yes I would be angry and worried. A child in a nursery shouldn't be able to get their hands trapped in hinges.

That looks like a burn from touching something very hot like a mug of coffee/kettle or boiling water (maybe used to warm.bottle). The way it's blistered is very usual for a burn. I can't see how getting fingers shut in a door did that.; plus the nursery should have guards on all doors to prevent fingers getting trapped, so how's it even been possible?

YADNBU, I'd be concerned they're lying on top of being careless and not looking after his basic needs. They should ensure he's drinking plenty of milk/water, especially in this weather.

Don't feel guilty, this is not on you, but I would absolutely take this as a sign that you need to find an alternative setting for him.

I'm in agreement that this doesn't look like fingers that have been trapped in a door, not at all. It does look more like a burn. I would head to the GP if you can get an appointment, meantime can you find an old scratch mitt to keep it clean and dry? Easier said and done with a ten month old I know.

Ask for a meeting with the manager of the Nursery, with the person who was responsible for his care in attendance. Request a copy of the incident form, and a full explanation of what happened, and take notes. Don't lose your shit, stay calm and curious if you can, then report to ofsted. Nothing might come of it, but you could help another child.

Leaving him to deal with his own bottle at that age, plus the complete lack of tranparency with handover information would be enough for me to be uncomfortable, follow your gut with these things, always.

This happened to my son at home, so entirely my fault, it did take the skin off in a similar way to the picture of your sons hand. Our doors are fire doors (like in a nursery), so due to them having door closers they do slam heavily if left. I dressed his hand, put a sock on it and used some gentle tape so it couldn’t be easily pulled off.

They should either be able to give you a physical copy of the report, or they can email a scan to you.

Fingers look terrible and much more like a scald than anything else! Are they hot?

Not sure about getting a copy of the accident report - I don't work in a nursery setting but even when kids are involved we're not allowed to hand copies out.

Is the nursery carpeted? I wonder if he’s trapped his finger under the door and scraped them against the carpet, like a carpet burn? Looks very painful, bless him.

Definitely ask nursery for much more information - face to face meeting probably best so you can tell how on the ball they are/how much they’re scrabbling to give you answers - and see what you think from there. Sounds very poor.

How angry would I be?
I am raging on your behalf, hope that helps.
I wouldn`t even attempt to hide how angry I was.
I would be doing everything to avoid him ever going back there.
Your baby is 10months old, why are they not feeding him properly with his bottle??
No, just no.
I really hope that your little one is ok now, and that you get a satisfactory outcome.

You need a diagnosis from a medical professional op. It does not look in any way like a n injury from a door. So you need to know the truth and how to treat it, so he is more comfortable.
Take him to Minor Injuries and let them decide what it is.
From there you can decide on your next move.
If it’s a burn and they have lied to cover it up then serious questions and investigation needs to take place as to how a baby was burnt in their care. It is an open wound and needs attention.

@CerseiForTheWin
Sorry, that looks like a scald or burn, That looks so sore! Poor little man…
Could he have touched a hot drink or kettle?

As someone who DID have fingers trapped in a door , it looked nothing like that.
How can the pads of his fingers have got trapped?
Maybe somebody with medical experience can tell if crush or burn/ scald?

Could you move nurseries??

This does look like a scald. I would possibly go to a chemist today some are open on Sundays for them to look at it.

I would definitely be asking a lot of questions whenever my DC were hurt at the nursery we used the same one for 10 years now. They have always given us a follow up call later that night or next day to ask how they are doing.
That's after us already having filled in forms and spoken to staff at collection.

Our youngest needed to be seen after an incident and I had 2 phone calls after to check up on him which was nice and shows they cared about him.

@CerseiForTheWin
I see others too are querying burn/ scald.

IF the nursery are lying, that puts a whole different spin on things.

Sheesh. I'm mad for you. You are not overreacting.

It does look very sore. We dont give copies of incident forms unless on request, they get signed and the injury explained at pick up so they stay with our records so that might happen at your nursery.

I'd go and speak with the manager and room leader next week before you baby is due to return and ask for a proper explanation of what happened. There's a chance the person who witnessed the incident wasn't the same person who did handover at closing so may not have given full details.

I'd agree it looks like a burn, although maybe as PP said fire doors could cause it. Definitely arrange to see the accident report. If he did shut his finger in the door, could there have been an issue on running his fingers under the tap?

I'd second all the advice from GreenManalishi

I think you need to bring the child to A&E.
That looks really wore.
Plus they'll tell you if it's a burn or something else.
That way when you ring tomorrow you'll know exactly what's wrong.

God that is horrendous.

I personally would take him to a&e / minor injuries clinic today. Wouldn't want to risk those wounds getting infected.