Incident at Nursery, how much do I lose my shit over it?

[CerseiForTheWin]

Name changed as Ive been sounding off about this so much that it could be recognisable.

DS started nursery a few weeks back, he’s ten months old. I didn’t want him to go particularly but I have to work and that’s a whole other thread. No family nearby to help, just me DH and DS. He does 3.5 days and I compress full time hours to have him for the other 1.5 days.

I have been thinking they were a bit rubbish with a few aspects, like not really helping him with his bottle so it’s either going all over his clothes and he had a rash on his chest from it, or he’s not really bothering to drink at all. He doesn’t eat much yet really so the formula is definitely still an important part of his diet. Added to that they’re crap with updates, I have no real idea what he does in there all day, all we get at pick up is ‘he’s been really good today’ what does that even mean?!

Anyway, got the dreaded nursery phone call at work on Friday. They emphasised the fact that he was ‘absolutely fine’ but had a slight injury to his fingers as they’ve got trapped in a door that someone opened. I thought we’ll that’s a bit shit why was he near the door but they said he’d just ‘grazed’ his fingers but had had lots of cuddles and was fine.

DH picked up- he’s not fine, he’s had the skin taken off the ends of two of his fingers. They’ve not dressed it or anything, it’s just raw. Apparently it looked worse than it was because he kept putting his fingers in his mouth. Duh. The key worker waved the accident form at DH and he signed it but frustratingly didn’t know he was supposed to receive a copy. She didn’t give him one. He says he just wanted to get DS home but was shocked at how bad it looked. So I don’t know exactly what happened.

have included a pic. Keeping the fingers clean is a nightmare. They’re really sore.

Obviously I’m really angry. I’ll email and have a meeting with the manger as I want to know exactly what happened. How mad would you go if it was your baby, and has anybody had any similar indecent happen at their nursery?

looking at pulling him out to go somewhere else too but slightly stuck for availability for the times we need and location but have started enquiring.

I’m definitely not over reacting am I ? Incidentally I work in childcare myself in a different capacity and in 14 years of that have never caused injury to a child in any way. The kind of accidents I might expect are bumps and falls etc but this is something else.

DS has been at a nursery from 10 mo to 4y, DD 5mo to 4 y. They’ve had their share of fights, accident reports etc. But nothing ever that sounded as neglectful as a grownup closing a door on them, or not noticing if they ate.

Change nurseries. There are better ones out there.

Yes, this is my first thought. In 9 years of parenting boys, I’ve never seen a graze that looks anything like this.

Alarm bells would be ringing.

Yes, also echo this, I’d want a GP’s take on this injury.

I'd be requesting the report and if also get it checked by doctor as it does look like a burn

With regards to updates when my kids were at nursery we would get

A list of exactly what had been served and how much child had eaten.
How many wet and dirty nappies
How much sleep that day
Exactly what was done with the kids all day, story, garden time, walk outside etc

The nursery sound shit, I would remove him.

That’s appalling , poor baby ! I would take this as far as I could, it’s their responsibility to ensure things like this don’t happen. Reminds me of my mum finding tiny bouncy balls in a toddler play basket , just after I had paid a large deposit to secure my baby’s place ten minutes earlier. Manager refused to return the money until I said I was reporting them to the council for unsafe toys and it appeared immediately 😡

That’s 100% a burn

i imagine they’ve heated food too hot and he’s put his fingers in it before they realised how hot it was

i did exact same thing with ds when he was little and it looked just like that

OP, haven't rtft due to the length, but wanted to tell you that my youngest did get her finger caught under a door at nursery.

The woman who did it checked the path was clear and as she turned to open the door, DD crawled behind her and planted her hand in the path of the door. The door went over the top of her finger, giving her a nasty enough injury but nothing that required medical attention (I rang minor injuries just in case).

The injury looked nothing like the photo you've posted but the injury was to the top of her finger (she lost the nail a few days later), I wouldn't be qualified to advise whether it could be a friction burn etc.

You'd asked what the nursery should've done - I got a call from the manager once they'd checked DD over, given her cuddles and reviewed the CCTV. They said they were happy to keep her but that they wanted to call us in case we wanted to get her seen and that she was pretty miserable. By the time we got there (ten minute walk), she was happy with a biscuit but we took her home anyway.

She was our second child and our eldest went to the same nursery so we trusted them completely, and in particular the manager, room supervisor and the woman who opened the door had all looked after dd1 so we knew and trusted them.

There was an accident form, we didn't get a copy but we don't normally. I'm sure if we'd wanted a copy it wouldn't have been a problem. I'm pretty sure they offered to show us the CCTV, but we didn't see the need.

I was happy with how they handled it. Our long-standing relationship with them helped, I would've struggled much more if it had been in DD1's early days there.

In your shoes I would definitely want to see the CCTV.

You actually want to keep it as moist as possible. Especially if it’s a burn. It really helps with healing

try to get hypercollid plasters. They’re miracle I swear! Then put a sock or bandage over the top.

Agree that it looks like a burn, OP.

I think you need to read them the riot act a bit. They shouldn't be propping bottles and even if you believe their story about the door, why was your DS by the door in the first place?

They sound slack.

Demand a copy of the accident report, speak to the manager and make sure you drop it in that you also work with children so you are aware of what should have happened.

That’s a burn. If they were honest i would go ape on them, but it could be an accidents and one off. , but trying to cover it up means I now have a feeling it’s just asking for something worse and the working culture is toxic. I would send my child back at all.

not only that failure to hand over the report seems deliberate and as such( I would actually look to get any child safeguarding unit all over the school and also potentially sue them for lost earnings if your stuck without childcare it’s that serious to me

I also think this redness and blistering looks more like a burn than a door injury .
As a doctor with burns experience I can reassure you that it is not serious and will be fine. I would dress the blistered fingertip with a hydrocolloid blister plaster to keep it clean and moist .

Many nurseries allow babies to feed themselves with bottles at this age. Mine were fine doing this. So on this point you are perhaps PFB. Sorry…

However what is serious is the possibility of lying. For that reason I would see a medical professional, ask for a copy of the accident form , ask to speak to the manager and see any CCTV.

I wonder if the member of staff involved ( and perhaps had a hot drink) is covering themselves.

Agree that looks like a burn. Like he has been given food that is too hot or an overheated bottle.

DH did manage to injure his finger like that on a door - but he'd (I still have no fucking idea WHY or HOW) shoved his finger into the catch mechanism on the washing machine and it shaved the very top layer of skin off across his fingertip. Would still raise massive issues about supervision and underplaying the incident - but it was very similar to that injury in the picture.

In DH's case we went to A+E where the nurse laughed when he said he'd done this purely by loading the washing machine (he did look as pathetic as fuck and I wasn't being very sympathetic either)!

Do they have CCTV?

That's a burn, which is bad enough for supervision but they lied as well. No thanks. Trust gone.

GP or paeds A&E for the dressing availability and advice (we have one they do exist). Get a report and make formal comment to nursery and regulator. And obviously find a decent nursery.

We pulled DD over lying to us about two "accidents". Felt guilty that I hadn't pulled her after the first one.

There's no way I'd ever put a baby into a daycare. You're the mother!

sod off

Oh do fuck off dear. 🙄🙄🙄

Here's your gold star for being a perfect human being ⭐

I’d love to know how a door caused that. Or rather, what sort of bullshit they’ll come up with to try and explain away what is clearly a burn.

Do they have CCTV?

Oh do fuck off there's a dear, the 1950s are that way <<<<<<<

I've reported you for this. What a rude unhelpful thing to say. Keep your antiquated opinions to yourself.

The only time one of my DC was burnt and needing A&E was when she was with both me and her granny
As others have and will say - bore off!

How is this helpful?!

OP literally said she felt shit she had to even leave her baby, so I can only surmise the aim of your comment was to be a hateful twat.

twats like you need to bore the fuck off.

Those are not fingers that have been trapped in a door. You need to get to the bottom of this and remove him

Agree it looks like a burn. Nothing like a fingers in door injury.

Has he dipped his fingers in someone’s boiling hot tea or coffee?