Mum on the train

[MumTrain]

Yesterday I was coming home from a day out with DS, aged 3 on the train. We had been out all morning and he was in top form but by the time we got on the train he was understandably tired.

It was a modern train you can walk through with no doors and spacious, wide aisles but still some seats free and no one had to stand.

DS was in the window seat and was standing up so I asked him to sit down and to keep him occupied I gave him my phone to watch a video with on silent so as not to disturb the other passengers. When we were nearly at our stop, I asked for my phone to check the time of our connection and he proceeded to cry as he was watching a cartoon.

A mum who was sat behind me heard all this and came to the aisle, bent down beside us, leaned in. I thought she was going to offer DS a toy or a sweet to cheer him up but instead and said “do you think you could be quiet? My baby is asleep”.

I told her in no uncertain terms that I would not be asking him to stop crying and that we have a baby at home too. She isn’t the first person to have a baby asleep on public transport. She could easily have walked the baby in the buggy further down the train.

AIBU to think that asking a toddler who is crying and having a tantrum to not cry is batshit crazy?

I’ve got three and went through all the same kids on a train shit as everyone else.

She was a dick head. If she wants to control the noise or atmosphere, she should drive her baby in her own vehicle.

I’ve got three and went through all the same kids on a train shit as everyone else.

Great stuff👍🏻 Like I said you obviously don't feel the pressure like others on here.

@pictish

Of course I did.

In my book, "horrible" would be yelling "will you hut your brat up!"

Politely asking is not "horrible". If that "triggers" you, then you need professional help.

*shut, not hut, obviously

Politely asking is not "horrible". If that "triggers" you, then you need professional help.

Are you sure about that? Or even qualified .

But crack on with the one upmanship.

Looks like this thread has been picked up by media 🙄

www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/mum-train-told-son-quiet-27567032?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=mirror_main

FWIW, I understand the other mums frustration but think it was out of order to try to correct your son herself. It was not her place. She could have asked you, or moved her baby away. In about 2 years time she will have a chance to reflect on her actions, so be comforted by that

*In my book, "horrible" would be yelling "will you hut your brat up!"

Politely asking is not "horrible". If that "triggers" you, then you need professional help.*

Still shocked you're telling people what their feelings should be.

I think she was out of order initially and that got your back up like you said. You knew toddler would only cry for a min or so until he had the phone back. Toddlers cry and have tantrums. Phone on a train is a good way of dealing with this when you know reasoning won’t work. Or telling him to stop.

I would have said ‘oh wow, you have a baby that doesn’t cry - how amazing for you’. Good luck to her when the baby is 3.

You know what works with your own child. I’m guessing if she hadn’t said something you would have quickly checked your connection, handed the phone back to appease the toddler. That is dealing with it. Not asking them to shut up . Because we all know asking a 3 year old to stop crying works really well. Or you could have said something to please all those on the train around you but it wouldn’t have worked.

Now yes trying to distract with the baby could have worked but since she butted in and was judgy you don’t owe her that. It may not have worked and could have taken longer.

Thanks for flagging this. Lazy journalism looking for clicks 😠

I would never dream of involving myself with another Mother’s issue with their child unless it was to distract them and help the mum which asking a child to be quiet doesn’t do. I would expect anyone to get involved with me and my child either and it’s not her place to ask the child to be quiet and I would’ve felt judged and pissed off. Why people are saying she was being polite as if trying to help is silly, she was clearly just wanting quiet for her child which is something unfortunately none of us can control.

This

Where does it say she wasn't going to attempt to stop him?

Why do some people always have to jump to the most bad-faith interpretation possible?

You're the one who is "batshit crazy" if you think there's anything wrong with someone politely asking a noisy child to be quiet. It's not like she smacked him or something. A quiet word might be enough to shame or frighten the child into behaving themselves.

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@fUNNYfACE36

Are we all reading the same thing?

Oh man, some people are complete dickheads. I was once chatting with my DD on a train, literally just having a conversation with her (she was about 4 at the time) when a woman snapped at me telling me to keep her quiet… I explained that she was just talking, not shouting or crying etc but the woman proceeded to tell me she talks ‘very loudly’ and I needed to get her to be quiet right away because she had a headache . That level of twattiness is something you don’t forget, I only hope she now has children of her own who throw daily tantrums.

You have to expect noise on public transport and if you don’t want to deal with that, drive.

Inspired by some of the replies I may spent this afternoon telling random strangers’ children what I want them to do. I shall explain later that I was making “polite requests”.

Don't stop at children. Extend it to adults who are talking in their phones or conversing amongst each other at a level you don't like? I mean it's "only a polite request".

Yes!😁

"But I simply asking them politely to ....."

😂

Also dog owners will, I feel, appreciate the polite instructions I shall issue.

Sounds like you were both being a bit too tetchy

And cat owners?

Gosh yes I shall politely ask them to stop their cats going in my garden.
why oh why did I not think of this effective solution before?

How do you ask a 3 year old having a meltdown to please stop crying?!!! Madness!