To not want work colleague to go to same resort as me at same time?

[malificent7]

I booked my summer holiday last year for August. My colleague booked his to same resort with his wife about 3 months ago after hearing where i was going. Just came back...fine.

However,him and his wife liked it so much that they are thinking about going back to same resort in August when I will be there.

Now i like my colleague but i want to get away from it all. Not bump into him on the beach. Aibu to find this odd/ unboundaried?

And no...there's nothing romantic going on.

Surely he is not that close a work colleague if he has managed to get same time off as you
If so then nothing you can do other than move resorts
Maybe he had booked it before you and just didn't say ( 1st trip ) my holiday this year was actually booked via to covid

At my work place some colleagues actually holiday together if in other dept and can get same time off , that would mind blow some on here it seems

When you say resort do you mean as in say whole town or hotel as if just resort you may never even see them

Yeah I wouldn’t want colleagues to see me in my swimmers at the beach. Which is exactly what happened one time. We went for a weekend cottage break a couple hours out of town with friends. Sunbathing on the lake side, playing with the kids and this guy comes kayaking towards us. It was one of our managers from work and he owned one of the holiday cottages next to the one we were staying in. Awkward.

We met a family from our home town on a campsite in Brittany, one year. It was super awkward because there was almost an expectation that we would socialise, whereas at home we were only on 'hi, how are you, nice weather' terms.

We went out of our way to avoid them.

It's weird, I would hate it.

Don't discuss holiday plans at work in future!

It would annoy me too but learn to be vague on details . Like say I’m going to palma in Majorca unless someone knows the area you don’t need to say the resort your staying . If someone asked me I’d jokingly but I mean it say ‘why your not going to follow me there are you ‘? .

I would hate to meet a colleague on holiday.

Nothing you can do though but grumble.

This happened to me and my ex years ago- we inadvertently booked into the same hotel at the same time as his boss. We were dreading that it would spoil the holiday, but she was really cool about it- she came over to say hello on the first night and said “now I’m going to stay away from you, please don’t think I’m rude but you need to enjoy your holidays and not think about work”. And she stuck to it- smiled and said hello if we crossed paths, and that was it. Until a couple of nights before we went home, when we bumped into her in the bar, we’d all had a few already, had a few more together, and had a really good time.
Don’t panic- your colleague probably just wants to enjoy his holiday as well.

If you feel so badly about the possibility of bumping into them perhaps you could go to a different place to avoid it.

You are being so ridiculous about this.

Same resort as in a hotel complex type thing or resort as in town?
How likely are you to meet up given the size of the resort?

I'll be honest, I dont really understand this.

I wouldnt want anyone seeing me in a swimming costume so I dont wear one. I dont wear anything I wouldnt want another human seeing me in. So round the house I wont wear a bra or trousers but I wouldnt sit by the beach like that

If anyone is seeing you in your swimmers, then what difference does it make who it is?

I can see why you wouldn’t want to bump into someone you know on holiday, but all your talk about ‘copycats’, ‘treading on toes’ and ‘boundaries’ is just ridiculous. I doubt he had your holiday dates in his head when he booked his own trip - you are unimportant to him, so he wouldn’t have given it a second thought. Not everything is about you. I doubt he wants to see you on his holiday either.

Exactly this.

No one wants to be reminded of work while away as its a break, same old faces is a bit tiresome

But the ridiculous self obsession that people have is a huge cause of poor mental health, thinking that theyre so important that other people's decisions are about them!!

I think i'm just going to say to him that I won't socialise with him before i go...to manage expectations.

Maybe he doesn't want to socialise with you? Maybe he just wants to have a holiday?

We changed our holiday for similar reasons.Some friends of ours announced they were going to the same resort as us at the same time(they knew we'd booked it)

It's not actually copy cat behaviour if he went 1st, went again recently and has now booked for August. Do you expect him and his family to base their holiday plans around yours?

It wouldn’t bother me. We have met up with work colleagues for drinks and meals all over the place.

Hardly think this is why he booked it tbh

This is probably the dumbest thread I have ever read on MN. Who gives a toss if he is going to the same resort.

Unless he has made noises about expecting to be around you, with you, socialising with you, that is going to sound very strange.

You havent answered some of the questions people have put to you about the size of the resort, etc.

Medium resort, not same hotel but we work very closely( same room) and get on well. I STILL don't want to socialise on holiday with him.

Has he suggested you socialise and meet up IF he does get the time off and book his holiday.

When I went to Malta for the first time, a week before my holiday I discovered that a colleague and his wife were staying in a villa his mother in law owned a few yards away from my hotel. We were even travelling on the same flights there and back. I can't say I was over bothered about it. He kindly gave me a list of recommended bars and restaurants too as it was the first time I'd been.