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Original poster

DC filming for TV program, problem with the nursery

259 replies

Pending653 · 20/07/2022 13:38

NC as its outing if another parent from the nursery sees this.

Last week a popular children's TV show got in touch with my DC's nursery by email and asked whether any of the children would be interested in taking part in an upcoming program as two kids were needed. The email asked for any parents who's children are interested to contact the team on the email given. The nursery manager then forwarded that email to parents asking if anybody was interested.

I asked my (two) DC and they said they would love to, they are 3 and 4 and both enjoy the program. They love the hosts.

I sent an email to the team saying we were interested and we scheduled a zoom meeting to introduce the kids and get a bit of information about filming. We were the first to apply.

I tell the nursery manager we are taking part and have a meeting scheduled, she then tells me she would prefer if I didn't put my DD forward, just DS, as she wants another family to have the chance to participate and she thinks DD would be too shy.

I'm now in an awkward position as both my DC want to do it but I've been made to feel as though I'm stealing the opportunity from another child.

The zoom meeting came and I took the opportunity to ask whether it would be possible for three children to participate and explained the issue, said the nursery told me there's another child who wants to do it so could they include them too, the team said that should be fine. Happy days.

I update the nursery manager to tell her that all is fine and it looks like they'll have 3 kids and not 2, so my DD can still do it.

She then comes back and says no and that she's going to be 'firm' but she doesn't want me to submit DD's details as she has chosen two other children to participate now - not just the one I was aware of who wanted to take part.

I was caught off guard and didn't know what to say so I just said right ok have a chat with the team and come back to me.

I received the consent forms today to fill in and they're asking for both of my children's details.

I explained the issue I was having with the nursery and suggested they have a chat as it was all getting quite confusing, but gave them my DS' details and filled in the forms for him accordingly.

Looking back at the initial email the team explicitly said for any families interested to contact them personally, which I did. There was no indication that the nursery would be choosing the children either from the nursery manager herself or the team!

My poor DD is going to be gutted. I don't know what to do?

Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Ontomatopea · 20/07/2022 19:32

That line of thinking just screams of this being about the parents, if it's only OP's children then only she can show off her children on TV and another family can't 🙄 I completely agree. This is an opptunity for each child as an individual.

PamelaD00ve · 20/07/2022 19:33

Nursery manager really has hugely inflated ideas about her role in all this.

Don't waste time trying to placate her - it is the tv company's decision now. Don't enter in to discussion about it with her. If she tries to discuss it, just smile and shrug and say "it's up to the production company to decide now".

sunglassesonthetable · 20/07/2022 19:34

Tbh if the Production Company need a turnover of kids there will be opportunities for others anyway.

LOL at the idea of the NM saying to the Production Team ( next week on her admin day...) ^

Now, I've picked out these children for you....^

sunglassesonthetable · 20/07/2022 19:39

Forgot to say well done to your DC! Hope they have a fun time.

Original poster
Pending653 · 20/07/2022 19:39

I have to admit I did have a laugh with DH about N.M expecting the production team to wait until her admin day for any further discussions, they were very clear on the zoom call that they want to get things wrapped up ASAP.

She's very anal about only doing any sort of admin on her designated admin day. Need a form signed at pick up that will take 2 seconds? Admin day. Want to discuss something? Admin day. Have a question about half term? She'll get back to you on her admin day 😁

OP posts:
CatkinToadflax · 20/07/2022 19:45

That’s so lovely that your DC will be doing it together. Hope they have a real blast doing it, and you can keep the footage and look back at it.

My brother was on the TV show ‘Child’s Play’ about 40 years ago. The TV production team came to our primary school and the teachers suggested children who they thought would be good at it. Other sibling groups were chosen but I wasn’t! <stamps foot> I’d love to have done it with him.

justasmalltownmum · 20/07/2022 19:46

Advocate opportunities for your own children. Stop informing the nursery and apply for your own two children

Original poster
Pending653 · 20/07/2022 19:52

I'll definitely be using this as a learning curve.

Like you, PP, I'm too soft for my own goos sometimes and feel incredibly uncomfortable when somebody tries laying down the law, so to speak.

I ummed and ahh'd about what to say to DD then swiftly decided I wouldn't be the one to take the opportunity away from her so decided to raise the query of whether they'd accept a third child.

DH pointed out that I won't need to see the N.M again until after the 6 weeks holidays so no awkward conversations to be had before filming (which is in August)

OP posts:
pimlicoanna · 20/07/2022 19:59

Your nursery manager doesn't understand how this stuff works ! It's nothing to do with her

Comefromaway · 20/07/2022 20:01

Child’s Play, now that takes me back. That was Michael Aspel wasn’t it?

CatkinToadflax · 20/07/2022 20:02

Comefromaway · 20/07/2022 20:01

Child’s Play, now that takes me back. That was Michael Aspel wasn’t it?

Yes I think it was!

Icedbannoffee · 20/07/2022 20:11

Meh I kind of agree with her. It's not often nurseries get the chance to be involved in stuff like this so yes it would be nice for 2 families instead of 1 to take part from the nurseries point of view. That said as everyone does you prioritise your own children which is understandable. If they just want 2 and there's now more in the mix chances are they won't roll with your children anyway, should have just gone for it.

1dontunderstand · 20/07/2022 20:16

I hope your children get the opportunity to do it together

sunglassesonthetable · 20/07/2022 20:20

Meh I kind of agree with her. It's not often nurseries get the chance to be involved in stuff like this so yes it would be nice for 2 families instead of 1 to take part from the nurseries point of view.

No nursery is not involved. Just kids.

And actually quite a normal way for TV to find kids.

Original poster
Pending653 · 20/07/2022 20:21

Icedbannoffee · 20/07/2022 20:11

Meh I kind of agree with her. It's not often nurseries get the chance to be involved in stuff like this so yes it would be nice for 2 families instead of 1 to take part from the nurseries point of view. That said as everyone does you prioritise your own children which is understandable. If they just want 2 and there's now more in the mix chances are they won't roll with your children anyway, should have just gone for it.

I agree it would be nice for two families to take part hence asking if they'd consider a third child during the zoom meeting to which they said yes - hey presto two families.

N.M wasn't content with that though, she wanted to exclude DD and bring in another child (who she failed to mention at the time - citing just one child she wanted to put forward)

As soon as I'd had the meeting and told her they're happy with having 3 children another child suddenly materialised meaning my DD needed to be excluded.

If I weren't sure that she likes DD (I do believe she does) I would be thinking its personal as there's no need to keep moving the goal posts when I came up with a suggestion that meant another child wouldn't miss out.

OP posts:
WiddlinDiddlin · 20/07/2022 20:24

@Icedbannoffee But the nursery ISN'T involved beyond passing around an email.

It isn't as if this is being filmed on their premises or to promote their nursery - they have been contacted as many people are by production companies, to pass on an email address and details.

I get them about dog training related stuff - I just pass it on to those interested, I don't cherry pick who, that isn't my job, that's theirs.

I certainly wouldn't pass a similar thing on and then say to someone with two adorable fluffy dogs 'only submit one of yours, as I want Felicity Titwangles dog to get the other role'.. its NOT my job.

NM is absolutely nuts if she thinks her choice of children to put forward will have any real bearing on the children chosen - they have likely contacted several nurseries in the area because the chances of just one having the exact kids they need is slim really (they need to get on well, not be camera shy, not be clingy to their parents in a new situation, have parents who are sensible and not drama-llamas.. in the 2 to 5 age bracket, that rules out a LOT of kids!).

She's a nursery manager who has been asked to forward an email - she is not a casting director, nor is she the owner of a drama school, or anyones agent!

Fe345fleur · 20/07/2022 20:29

Just adding to the people who have already said that the nursery manager doesn't get to pick, despite what she thinks! The TV company will decide who they want involved and won't be the slightest bit concerned about just getting on with it. I hope your kids have a great experience 🙂

SirVixofVixHall · 20/07/2022 20:32

AuntySandrasDauphinois · 20/07/2022 13:41

I would send over both details. The manager has gone a bit power mad I think!

This.

MikeWozniaksMoustache · 20/07/2022 20:33

Eee some of these “you’re grabby” comments make me chuckle. Of course you would put forward both your kids, why wouldn’t you? And how do you explain that to one child? And how to pick what child? It doesn’t matter if the 3yo won’t remember, is that the only reason you do things with your kids? I don’t remember half the stuff I didn’t when I was an older child but we still did it, it would be a very boring life for an infant if we only did things they would remember. Plus you’ll have the show as memory fodder so even better.

This isn’t up to the nursery manager, she sounds a bit power mad. She’s going to have a shock when she realises the big TV people don’t give a shiny shit about her (and she’s literally a nobody which you know will just kill her) and just want participants.

Hope the kids get picked and have a fab time.

MikeWozniaksMoustache · 20/07/2022 20:35

@WiddlinDiddlin Felicity Titwangle is a brilliant name!

Emmelina · 20/07/2022 20:40

Sounds like the manager has a child/relative/friends child in mind to do it honestly! And they’ve promised this big thing to them. Just send the paperwork in. Good luck to your kiddos, how exciting!

tiedyetie · 20/07/2022 20:42

NM sounds to be on an extraordinary power trip

Flittingaboutagain · 20/07/2022 20:45

Hopefully they'll choose several children from different families so more get a chance to take part. I think you're right not to assume you got the gig. They will decide once they have met the right kids / enough kids to choose from.

ABitCofused · 20/07/2022 20:53

Having read all of your posts I think that you have become too involved in all of this - yes you may have been the first one to reply but I can see how the NM would think that it wasn't fair to have more than one from one family and yes maybe that should have been stated. You have stirred up with the production company and the NM and I think you may get a reputation as " one of those parents". For all you know perhaps the NM does have some reservations about your child's suitability for it.

GraceandMolly · 20/07/2022 20:56

I would not have been so polite with the nursery manager. Both of your kids should do it.