Insulted -lottery win offer

[Windypants21]

So no I haven't won the lottery nor has anyone I known of, but i was having a wistful conversation with my life long best friend about what we would do if we won the lottery.

Her conclusions ..She would buy a business and employ me as her front of house.

I on the other hand, would give her a large sum of money and let her get on with it.

I know this may sound petty and maybe I'm reading too much into this, and given the odds it is never going to happen , .... but is this how she views me ...an employee ?!

I did say to her so you would 'EMPLOY ME '..., which she had the good grace to sound embarrassed about and tried to dig herself out of the hole she had dug for herself...unsuccessfully.

Aibu to be insulted.

Have to say I agree. With friends like that...

Hopefully you don't feel that every woman/ man who comes onto mumsnet to ask about their husband /wife or children's behaviour despises them.

And not just friends, best friends for decades! 🤷‍♀️

You are…

“Insulted”
“shocked”

your “best friend” is…

“very competitive”
wants to “boss me around”
ignores fact I have health conditions and knows I’m burned out from work

and all this over a hypothetical discussion over a lottery win with your “best friend”

Why are you on a forum about day to day life and relationships if you can't acknowledge that relationships have difficulties in negotiating day to day feelings and events irregardless of the type of relationship. You do realise we aren't all perfect....maybe you and your friends are. Your friends have obviously never inadvertently hurt or offended you in word or deed. I'm not perfect and shes not either. She would even admit that.

Ps the competitive thing was as i stated before HER OWN ADMISSION a direct quote from her last week when talking about something. As for 'bossing me around' hence the 'lol' . And for what's its worth I said we are both burnt out.

All the best op and hope you let this go and trust that your friend of 40 years doesn’t want to employ you to boss you around if she won the lottery, but was instead just chewing the fat with her bestie

Interesting retort, you telling me to 'let it go'. 🤔

You are an anonymous mumsnetter and I have a day off pootling around doing housework…. So happy not to let it go.

whereas if it was my best friend…… 😂

Still not letting it go.

Would probably split the money with my brother so both my parents children are equal. And what better motivation for him to keep stum than that?
Other than that I would do my very best to spend THE LOT!

I would totally keep my trap shut, and not tell a living soul. No free houses, cars, etc, for chums/rellies. When it all runs out will they help you? Not likely.

No I didn’t win the lottery either but we’re (DH!) still arguing over the house we want to live in!

My BF knows we want her to be our interior designer (when we agree) and she updates me with her plans for our mythical non-existent property! She is very excited about the project!

As I said - I am happy to not let it go because you aren’t my best friend!

Whereas it was my best friend, well I would have laughed and not given a nano second further thought. Different strokes and all that.

What a bleak way to view relationships. You honestly think no Friend or family would help you out?

It's all day dreaming!

My best friend asked if I would employ her to answer all my begging letters if I won 😂

A colleague and I used to fantasise of winning and not telling our husbands then what we would do while pretending to go out to work. Non of it is real, neither of us would let out husbands continue working while we lived the life of Reilly but it was fun to talk about.

YANBU I remember about 10 years ago my best friend said that when she’s made it she will hire me as her secretary. I am a legal secretary in all fairness but I remember being MIFFED. Not that she owed me anything, that she saw me as an employee. A decade later while on maternity leave I did end up doing a bit of freelance admin to help out with her eyelash salon and yeah… it didn’t last long 😂

I can understand why you are upset OP.

it’s an insult first to think she would not share the money or gift you something.

Also that she would then have you working for her as her employee presumably making her more money.

but the kicker is the assumption that you would even WANT to work in whatever business she set up. We all get to choose our own destiny and careers and she sounded as if she would just pick a career that you would then do for the rest of your life. Her choice based on her business dreams. It’s as if her getting money gives her the authority to make decisions for you.

of course it’s all pie in the sky but I understand it reveals a bit of what she thinks of you.

try to let it go though, just make your point that you wouldn’t do the same.

My friend, who I would have bought a house for, told me she’d give me £50 on my birthday! 😂

She wasn’t joking, just incredibly tight, even with fictional millions. We’re no longer friends but not because of this.

I'd spend most of it starting my own charity if I won now.

If I won the £195 Million, I wanted to do the warehouse full of sheds idea, for single and homeless, give them an address and cooking but their own bedrooms, with ensuite. I thought it was amazing, somewhere up north was where they had a few.