Mumsnet, please talk me down. On holiday with my kids.

[mycatisannoying]

Girls, aged 21, 16 and 13. And they're really fucking me off.
I seem to be the only single parent at this resort, and all around me there's happy families enjoying their holiday.
I'm naturally a fairly positive and cheery person, so believe me I am trying. I've been looking forward to this holiday for so long and have been really looking forward to it. I'm not a deluded fool though. I knew we'd have our moments. I adore my children but probably wouldn't choose to spend this much time with them, in two rooms.
I am fed up of managing their moods, their spats, trying to get them out the room at a reasonable time (2pm today).
I've just told them - calmly - that I won't be doing this again, and that future holidays can be taken with their father (money no object to him). That if they wanted to stay in on their phones, we could have stayed home.
I'm doing my best and it's going to shit. I should add that it hasn't been ALL bad. I do seem to be catastrophising though, probably because it meant a lot to me that we all had a good time.
Please help with some words of wisdom so that we can enjoy our last few days together.

I agree - do your own thing and they'll probably start seeking you out. Pretty poor form from the 21 yr old though. I think that's a bit old for teenage moods.

Read this it will make you feel better!

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4590796-france-is-a-nightmare?page=20&reply=118649688

A lady I work with had a similar situation a few years ago. Two moody teen girls, one pining for her boyfriend the other jealous of her having a boyfriend. She waited until the next evening when they were all sat having a drink after dinner and said se’d bought return flights home (8 days early). She showed them the screenshot on her phone of the flights (she’d done as far as just before confirming the booking). They bucked their ideas up after that. She also got out a notepad, and marked the days ahead…
Mum
Daisy
Tilly
Mum
Daisy
Tilly
That person was ‘in charge’ that day, what they did, where they went. She gave them the spending money for that day - on one day they ate waffles/ice cream for breakfast and lunch and McDonalds for dinner.

😂😂 my DH ordered burger and chips in an old mining town in Arizona … burger and CHIPS … oh how we all laughed when his meal arrived 😂 I still wind him up about it now 🤣

I abandoned beach holidays once the kids hit their teen years. They found them boring once they were past the bucket and spade stage

My 15 year old dd is the exact opposite. She HATES city holidays. Can't/won't walk far, no interest in culture or sightseeing, hates museums. We learnt this the hard way. We now do city breaks without her and book a beach/pool holiday with her (we enjoy both).

@SmellyToilet my pre teen and young teen were like this when we went to the Grand Canon, didn’t want to get out of the car and were just grumpy throughout! :(

and all around me there's happy families enjoying their holiday.

Take no comfort in shared misery, but I bet there are plenty of other parents with teenagers having a rotten time at some point or other. They're just not showing their faces!

The absolute highlight of a recent small break with my 13 and 23 year old was when they played pool and I read my book with a cup of tea for 45 mins (they didn't know where I was). It was in some god awful bowling place that was so busy (what with it pissing down) we couldn't actually bowl.

Love 'em but honestly.......

As they are older I think it is time to get more than 2 rooms. Rent a house with a pool next time.

I love my family but we all like our own space so it is always a villa with a private pool now. It costs less than the 4 rooms we would need.

The most problems I get is Dh. He moans about everything and isn’t able to do the stuff we want to do.

Had a few days holiday without him once and it was bliss

I stopped going on family holidays at 16
Then started holidays with my hobby groups & friends
I feel sorry that you have spent money & they don't seem to be making the most of their opportunities.
I know some people who would love a holiday !

Everyone wants different things from their holiday. Your want is totally different to theirs. Imagine if your youngest was in charge every day and she wanted you to stay in bed till 12, go on her phone till 2pm and then saunter down to the pool for the next 4 hours. Her idea of bliss is not yours, and vice versa. Ditto with the others. Imagine being dragged to the club every night! Quelle Horreur!

Do what you want and let them come with or not. They are all old enough. Just enjoy it!

I really need a holiday, but I'm a single parent with a 13 year old boy. I don't think I would dare do it - I can just imagine the strops, the sulks and the shouting!! Any ideas where we could go, or maybe I should also invite one of his friends...? Problem is I couldn't afford to pay for 2 kids :(

Mine are only toddlers but I still shudder at the memory of holidays with my parents when I was a teenager. Just awful.

Well, holidays are expensive and I would expect my children to get off their phones and go and enjoy the world outside .

I do friends for cheap things like uk camping weekends (or one offs, like theme parks) and I think I’m going to have bite the bullet and go for euro-camp or Butlins or something. It’s not at all somewhere I want to go, but it’s not forever. I also should look at going away with groups. If there were groups of them, I’m sure she’d enjoy it more.

Leave them all to it. Find yourself a hot lover and meet your girls at the airport.

They're all old enough to be told how selfish they're being imho.
Have a stern word with them and then get on with enjoying yourself op. Tell them what your plans for the day are, then just get on with it, they should soon realise how poor their behaviour is.

He definitely needs a friend! But they would need to pay for themselves.

Teenagers and young adults prefer to sleep in so YABU to expect them to all leap up and do early breakfast and activities. I think like others have said - leave them to it then plan for a nice dinner or whatever together later. I went on a few holidays with my parents as a teenager and truthfully, I remember very little except the fun of dressing up a little for "fancy" meals out and spending afternoons by the pool! My mum took me to London at 18 and I remember the trip very fondly but the only day time activities I remember are shopping! I assume we did more but my.parents were always relaxed about sleeping in so am guessing she didn't drag me out of bed and we did do a lot of wandering around very relaxed. But I remember the shows, dinners in soho etc..

You do get that not everyone can afford private villas and pools right? Especially not most single parents....talk about clueless..

I think that you already have the message about offering a plan but then leaving them to it if they don't want to join. I will say that for me it was Christmas rather than holidays: once I stopped trying to make it perfect and just made it work for us and our family foibles it was much better!

Hats off to you. I have 15 and 18 year old sons but not on holiday on my own.

We're currently on a cruise around 'interesting' cities in Europe. Every night it's an argument as to the curfew time so the next day's activities aren't a total write off. My older son has passed his illness from a lot of partying before we left on holiday around the rest of us so my husband and I now feel fairly rank.

My son organised a lovely private boat tour of Dubrovnik on one of the days. Then spent a lot of it chucking up the previous night's drinks over the side of the boat where his younger brother was snorkelling. Just yuck. My other son swam with his phone so that's not working and we can't get hold of/find him for hours.

I'm happy to accommodate a mix of activities but teenagers are a special breed. I think you're doing a great job of keeping your holiday going on your own. I know it's hard when they're glued to their phones and you feel you may as well be at home....

I suppose the good news is at least you can leave the younger one, safe in the knowledge that her older sisters are around.

We're bringing DSs friend when we go to Lanzarote in October but between booking and now they've changed from gormless 15 year olds to 16 year olds with an interest in girls and alcohol, so I think after that we'll just holiday without him and he'll go on school trips or with his mates. It's sad as I want him to want to come away with us.

Didnt take long for this story to get picked up 🤦‍♀️