To be terrified that my 4yr old dd is starting school in September

[scorpiogirly]

Is it just me? The thought of sending her to school in September makes me feel sick. No parent should be terrified of their children starting school.

I'm speaking of the new RSE curriculum. Parents no longer have a right to opt out. Parents do not have the right to demand to see what their children are being taught. Dangerous ideology will embedded into every lesson.

5000 parents are taking the Welsh Government to court and the case has been accepted.

Schools seem to be following a script when met with questions about the new RSE. Safeguarding, age appropriate. Who decides what is age appropriate for our children?

Our school sent out an email on what was being covered in each year and held a chat for parents before hand if you had any questions. I feel like your reaction is a bit extreme and I have no issue with the curriculum. I’m a bit confused which part you are concern about. Is it specific around genders, same sex marriage?

If my daughter ever questioned her sexuality or own 'gender' I would of course support her, not in her decision but in talking to her and listening to her feelings. Would I be whipping her off to a gender clinic to discuss puberty blockers? NO!

Why do you think that schools will encourage this in RSE?

I don't want gender ideology pushed on my daughter. I don't want her to be taught that a person can change sex.

I'm afraid that you don't have a choice for the world we live in.

It's everywhere and unless you intend to keep DD locked away from all activities and peers, you cannot protect her from learning about it.

What you can do is educate her about it.

Although once they learn about transgender and acceptances anything but positive comments are met with defiance and accusations of anti-trans talk, that's my experience with DD age 13.

You're the devil unless you show full acceptance.

I think is part of a bigger issue. My DS has grown up through this and has come out fairly sensible at the grand old age of 12 so I wouldn't worry too much.
As others have said, it's similar to being taught fire and brimstone in schools. The important part that we can do ourselves is to teach our children critical thinking.
Most children ask a lot of 'whys' at that age. I think we all need to encourage more of it. Ask her about what she's learned and what she thinks.
Ask her the 'why' and encourage her to ask you the same. I think a lot of "Well, I think this.... what do you think?' goes a long way, followed by 'Hmm, what about if...'.
Listen and have a genuine conversation about it. The more our children learn to think for themselves and apply reason to what they're told, the better they'll do against all nonsense really.
I always tell DS that he can disagree with me and challenge me on anything, but he needs to be able to make a logical case for it and point out where I'm wrong😁. We have a lot of good-natured arguments debates.

I went to school in the 60s/70s and knew then that people could change sex.

It's not just about this particular subject. Children are being subjected to a wide range of disinformation and conspiracy theories earlier and earlier online - everything from flat earthism to qanon etc etc.
The problem is that so much looks sensible at face value and if you're only told one side, especially if you're young and tend to believe what you're told.
I think we need debate and critical thinking classes from primary school. Classes where children can talk openly, aren't shut down and can talk about anything but they are good-naturedly expected to make their case for it.

I went to school in the 60s/70s and knew then that people could change sex.

I can only assume you are talking about gender, because humans aren't clownfish.

I went to school in the 60s/70s and knew then that people could change sex

No, they really can't.

I'm in Wales and my 8 year old said he was told that some people feel they are born in the wrong body. I've not investigated further, as he is adamant they said ' feel they are in the wrong body' rather than 'are in the wrong body'. But I maybe should have looked more deeply at what they are being taught.

But its definitely not just body parts, boundaries and two mummies and daddies.

I think you need to withdraw your child from the school, there’s absolutely no point in sending her when you clearly don’t trust the Headmistress, will question every single thing that her teacher says and does as well as scrutinising any friends your poor daughter tries to make.
That’s a completely untenable and very sad prospect for everyone involved.
You say you can’t/won’t homeschool but I don’t think you have any choice. Your unfortunate attitude and terror at what (probably completely mythical) fates await your daughter will cloud her experience of school and the opportunity to learn and thrive.
Irrational and unreasonable.

I think we need debate and critical thinking classes from primary school. Classes where children can talk openly, aren't shut down and can talk about anything but they are good-naturedly expected to make their case for it.

It's a good idea though the fears of alienation and cancellation in the world today wouldn't allow them speak comfortably even with a good solid case.

And what's wrong with a child being taught that? Some people do believe they were born in the wrong body. There's nothing graphic or upsetting about a child learning this.

@scorpiogirly why are you fixating on this tiny part of the curriculum that multiple posters have said will not even be covered in KS1 and probably most of KS2?

Your DC is about to take a milestone step into education where they will cover maths, literacy, science, geography, music, art etc. and you are going on about something that they won't even cover in the next 5 years?

Enjoy her growing up and developing and becoming more independent - it's brilliant.

All of your 'terrifying fears' can totally disappear by just having a chat with the head teacher.

I assume you are happy with your school allocation? Then trust them to teach your DD in an age appropriate fashion.

this

I do suggest you chill OP, this is disproportionately anxious.

Ask the school to provide the curriculum points. It will be very basic stuff at reception, nothing to be concerned about.

when the time does come, it’s like religious beliefs or something, you can teach your kids that some people believe in a supreme being, or that sex can change, and then explain what you think.

also become a governor as PP a suggested

and if you are generally anxious, get some help with that

Hi OP, I too am GC and I've found the teachers to be pretty consistently awesome at my dd primary school. Her class teacher completely agreed with all my concerns when I raised them. You have no need to feel the level of anxiety that you currently experiencing but don't beat yourself up many mums feel anxious about the loss of control when pfb starts full time school without having any 'good' reason for it.

Feel free to ask the class teacher in a 5 minute chat explain you've heard stuff online that horrified you but you've also had people reassure you could they please take 5 minutes to walk you though what if anything they'll be doing in class this year/term. They'll be happy to reassure you.

I thought that single issue politics was bad enough. But to find that a parent of a 4 year old is obsessed with this single issue within their child's whole education is just shocking.

No way is anything but literacy 'embedded into every lesson'. And your child will not be 'constantly bombarded' with anything.

I'm trying really hard to avoid saying 'get a grip' but your concern and fear is what's terrifying here, not that single and part of the curriculum (which also concerns me).
Your four year old needs you to be positive about his schooling from day 1.

Sorry...her, schooling. I didn't take in your child's sex when I read the OP.

My children go to an RC school with mostly non British families. There is zero gender woo. Shop around.

Transsexuals. I was aware in primary school that people could have gender realignment surgery - in that their sex organs could be changed from one sex to the other.

Don’t be ridiculous. There is no reason I can’t be both pro-trans AND pro-protecting women and girls in female spaces. I think abuse and rape are abhorrent whoever commits them, wherever they are committed or why. It’s the ABUSE that outrageous, not whether the perpetrator identifies as are male, female, or a fucking Christmas tree. And if you think keeping trans-people out of women’s spaces is going to make even a noticeable dent in the abuse of women, you are sadly deluded (and no, I do not wish to minimise the individual horror of anyone who was raped. I’m sure it’s a dreadful experience and I stand against ALL who commit it.)

I also think women are in far more danger from men who identify as men. The vast majority of women are abused are not abused by trans-people. They are abused by men. And why women think that putting 🚻on the door is going to protect them from some who thinks is acceptable to forcibly put their penis inside your body against your will is absolutely beyond me. Do we actually think rapists are going around saying ‘whoops, female changing room. That’s for ladies. Can’t rape anyone there. Better go and find somewhere else to indulge my predatory urges’. Do we? Really?
I bloody don’t.

The widespread hysteria of a minuscule minority of an-already small minority trans people abusing women is the patriarchy gaslighting women into accepting that men abusing women isn’t a big issue. It’s all those evil trans people raping women, that is? And yet how many rapes are there by biological men? And how many by trans people? And we’re being brainwashed into thinking trans people are the issue here?
I’m appalled that the Patriarchy (and now the Tory party) are being allowed to derail women’s rights in this way. Appalled.

My response was meant to include quotes of previous posters🤔

I’m not going to get into the psychology of people who feel they are born in the wrong body all I’m saying is as children we were well aware of it in the 60s/70s and they were referred to transsexuals not transgender as they had realignment surgery.

All of the Scottish lessons are available online. Yet, many parents are sharing incorrect information that is NOT taught.
Just contact the school if you're so worried and they will tell you what is covered ( if it's not on- line in Wales also).

This is very well said. It is such a nuanced issue and I do understand where the concern around single sex spaces comes from, but I think the infighting (calling each other TERFs and TRAs) distracts from the main issue, which remains cis men!

Did you actually bother reading my post before replying to it?. I clearly said I did NOT investigate further because he said they were taught some people feel they are in the wrong body rather than are. So clearly I don't have a problem with that.

I perhaps could have investigated further to check if that is actually what they taught but didn't, because my son's phrasing reassured me.

Reading and comprehension before wading into someone are useful skills to learn in life.