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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Upset about breastfeeding

164 replies

feelingdown7 · 19/07/2022 21:40

My baby was born on Friday and despite every effort, will not latch on. When she does latch on, it's only for a few seconds and then she comes off again. I have been expressing breast milk using a pump and have been giving this to her and using formula as a top up. This has really upset me as I really wanted to exclusively breastfeed and feel that I am depriving my child of all the benefits of breastfeeding. My mum and husband keep telling me not to put pressure on myself and that it's not the end of the world if she has to be formula fed but I can't help but feel down about it.

Can someone convince me I'm not entirely ruining my child's life by not being able to breastfeed?! 😩

OP posts:
L1ttledrummergirl · 21/07/2022 09:38

Thats fantastic news. I'm so pleased for you.

Remember the first few weeks can be an emotional roller coaster as your hormones settle so be kind to yourself.

Parenting can be hard and very few of us know how to do it before we experiment with a child so Remember that all you can do is your best, and if it's not working, ask for help. Anyone who's ever had a child has been there before you and will have opinions and advice some may work, some is wrong for you, but our differences are what make us amazing.

Putonyourshoes · 21/07/2022 09:42

@feelingdown7 that’s fantastic news! Well done.
You might find that since baby has gotten used to bottles they can become frustrated at the slower flow of the breast, usually in the evenings they are their least patient! I found lots of skin to skin and baths together helped when this happened. You may well sail through but just a little tip if you get the same issue arise He

ImustLearn2Cook · 21/07/2022 12:29

That’s wonderful news 💐🌸🌺

Crocky · 21/07/2022 12:33

That’s brilliant news 😁

AllThatAndMore · 21/07/2022 12:33

I’m so happy for you 😊

Rainbowdrops2021 · 22/07/2022 15:03

That’s great news OP!

Andrutica · 22/07/2022 15:20

Look for a Lactation Consultant as soon as possible as they will support you. Have the baby checked for tongue tie as that would cause issues with the latch.
All the best!

Loics · 22/07/2022 16:01

Great news @feelingdown7 !@feelingdown7

Darbs76 · 22/07/2022 16:29

i had the same problem with DS2, I expressed for a month then tried him mid express one time when he was a month old and he latched perfectly and I exclusively BF him for 8 months. Don’t give up

GroggyLegs · 22/07/2022 16:38

Thanks for updating - wonderful to read @feelingdown7 🥰

KittyEmK · 22/07/2022 17:25

So pleased for you - well done X

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 22/07/2022 17:40

I never managed to breastfeed any of my dses, @feelingdown7 - none of them put on weight on my milk, and one ended up in hospital (with a chest infection), but when they realised he had lost 10oz from his birthweight and hadn’t regained it at 6 weeks old, they started muttering about ‘Failure the Thrive’, and kept him in until I agreed to start supplementing with formula - which spelled the end of breastfeeding for me.

That was ds2, and when I had ds3, I mixed fed him from the beginning, and managed 12 weeks of that - as long as he had two bottles of formula a day, he would gain weight - if I dropped one, his weight plateaued.

Ds1 had jaundice, so I was advised to top up with formula, whilst he had phototherapy, and I never managed to reestablish breastfeeding.

All three grew up to be healthy, happy young men - ds2 and ds3 are both sporty, and ds1 has just become a dad for the first time. I did my best to feed them a wide range of different foods, once they were weaned - I think there is so much you can do, to give your kids the best start in life - and whilst breastfeeding is one of them, there are plenty of others that you can still do.

I gave myself a really hard time, because I considered I had ‘failed’ at breastfeeding, and that did contribute to depression, for me - so I really want you to hear that you are absolutely doing your best for your baby. You are a wonderful mum, and your baby is flourishing and will continue to flourish, whether or not you establish breastfeeding, mixed feed or formula feed.

I’m sending you a massive, unmumsnetty hug, @feelingdown7.

Murdoch1949 · 23/07/2022 20:12

No idea what current antenatal advice is regarding bf, but I wish an emphasis on 'you need to stick at it for a few weeks' is in it. Bf is the best, but some babies don't understand this and don't do their bit! Sometimes family/friends can encourage you to give it up, they may have done that. The old 'are you sure they're getting enough', niggles away at first time mums. Unless you have a physical problem, bf will be ok, makes life soooo easy, is the best for baby & mum. Glad your babe is helping mum out.

RidingMyBike · 23/07/2022 20:16

Do not worry! Loads of people struggle especially initially or find it isn't for them, or it isn't what it's cracked up to be!

Don't worry if you have to give some formula, it won't affect BFing - there are loads of scare stories out there but formula isn't poison and it won't stop you BFIng. I had innumerable problems with BFing at the beginning and ended up doing 50/50 BF/FF for first year which worked well for us and enabled me to have a break too.

Good luck!

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