I never managed to breastfeed any of my dses, @feelingdown7 - none of them put on weight on my milk, and one ended up in hospital (with a chest infection), but when they realised he had lost 10oz from his birthweight and hadn’t regained it at 6 weeks old, they started muttering about ‘Failure the Thrive’, and kept him in until I agreed to start supplementing with formula - which spelled the end of breastfeeding for me.
That was ds2, and when I had ds3, I mixed fed him from the beginning, and managed 12 weeks of that - as long as he had two bottles of formula a day, he would gain weight - if I dropped one, his weight plateaued.
Ds1 had jaundice, so I was advised to top up with formula, whilst he had phototherapy, and I never managed to reestablish breastfeeding.
All three grew up to be healthy, happy young men - ds2 and ds3 are both sporty, and ds1 has just become a dad for the first time. I did my best to feed them a wide range of different foods, once they were weaned - I think there is so much you can do, to give your kids the best start in life - and whilst breastfeeding is one of them, there are plenty of others that you can still do.
I gave myself a really hard time, because I considered I had ‘failed’ at breastfeeding, and that did contribute to depression, for me - so I really want you to hear that you are absolutely doing your best for your baby. You are a wonderful mum, and your baby is flourishing and will continue to flourish, whether or not you establish breastfeeding, mixed feed or formula feed.
I’m sending you a massive, unmumsnetty hug, @feelingdown7.