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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband didn’t meet me

110 replies

Tryhard87 · 18/07/2022 22:09

So this is a genuine AIBU, as I am quite annoyed but there is a niggling doubt I am indeed being unreasonable.

About 4 years ago, I was working at a local council and we were asked to work at polling stations for the day (optional). I agreed and this meant that I would be working till10.30 PM and then getting a train home. Getting me into the station at about 11.30. I had asked DH to meet me at the station because I was still struggling on crutches due to an illness and also I get scared walking home late on my own. He agreed.

DH went out with our friends and ended up not coming back until 6am in the morning. This has never happened before and I know who he was with so I am not worried about cheating. He also made me feel bad on the train,as if I was ruining their night. I even apologised.

I am annoyed that he didn’t meet me from the train, spent loads of money in a casino and let me down.

The reason that I bring this up four years later is he just brought it up as like a funny story. Which pissed me off!

AIBU

OP posts:
inmyslippers · 18/07/2022 22:11

He sounds awful

MichelleScarn · 18/07/2022 22:13

How far is it from the station to home? Was he to collect you in the car or on foot?

Soggycrisps · 18/07/2022 22:14

Did he already have plans to see friends? Could you have got a taxi?

What's making you hold onto it for four years?

Original poster
Tryhard87 · 18/07/2022 22:14

On foot, to be fair only about 5 minutes walk.

OP posts:
FawnFrenchieMum · 18/07/2022 22:16

Did he tell you he wasn’t coming or just not turn up? Did he suggest another solution to getting home without him?

Original poster
Tryhard87 · 18/07/2022 22:16

@Soggycrisps I think you make a fair point. I don’t think I am holding onto it but he brought it up as a funny story and it annoyed me again. At the time I was really upset and tonight he brought it up. Maybe I need to move on!

OP posts:
Whodoiwanttobe · 18/07/2022 22:17

Tryhard87 · 18/07/2022 22:14

On foot, to be fair only about 5 minutes walk.

Is this a joke? A five minute walk?! Wow I feel this is an over reaction that happened 4 years ago!

RaspberryRippleTipple · 18/07/2022 22:17

YANBU to be annoyed 4 years ago.

YANBU to point out to him that he was a * and it’s not a funny anecdote

YABU to still be annoyed 4 years later if he hasn’t done anything similar since

Original poster
Tryhard87 · 18/07/2022 22:18

@FawnFrenchieMum no he didnt I had to walk. But in his defence it is a reasonably safe area.

OP posts:
Original poster
Tryhard87 · 18/07/2022 22:19

@RaspberryRippleTipple yes you are right! Thank you

OP posts:
Littleraindrop15 · 18/07/2022 22:20

when did you tell him he had to pick you up? was this pre planned? or did you randomly msg halfway through the evening and expect him to drop his plans ?

BloodAndFire · 18/07/2022 22:20

YABU because it was a five minute walk, four years ago. Get over it

MichelleScarn · 18/07/2022 22:22

Whodoiwanttobe · 18/07/2022 22:17

Is this a joke? A five minute walk?! Wow I feel this is an over reaction that happened 4 years ago!

Show quote history

This, a 5 min walk, in a safe are you knew well? What came first your request for him to come and get you, or his night with friends?

MsFrenchie · 18/07/2022 22:22

Tryhard87 · 18/07/2022 22:16

@Soggycrisps I think you make a fair point. I don’t think I am holding onto it but he brought it up as a funny story and it annoyed me again. At the time I was really upset and tonight he brought it up. Maybe I need to move on!

Four years ago you had to walk five minutes home, which you did with no problem, and you are still upset?

Yes, I think it’s time to move on. I also think asking your husband to leave his night out to walk you five minutes home was a bit unreasonable.

MichelleScarn · 18/07/2022 22:24

Were you messaging him while he was out to come back home to walk you home?

MsFrenchie · 18/07/2022 22:25

You know how some men think that women are a bit crazy, unreasonable, and hard to understand?

This is what they are thinking about.

drpet49 · 18/07/2022 22:25

“YABU because it was a five minute walk, four years ago. Get over it”

^This. Completely unreasonable to ask your husband to walk you home 5 minutes.

Aria999 · 18/07/2022 22:27

I think you were not unreasonable to ask him given you were on crutches!

And he could have said no or asked you to get a taxi rather than agreeing then letting you down.

Soggycrisps · 18/07/2022 22:28

I think poster have forgot this part...

I was still struggling on crutches due to an illness and also I get scared walking home late on my own. He agreed.

Original poster
Tryhard87 · 18/07/2022 22:28

Okay okay, I recognise now I was unreasonable. To answer the questions and I will exit

no it was prearranged he would walk me home
he was meant to be home at 9 and stayed out till 6

however, I appreciate the power of Mumsnet and sometimes I need a sense check.

thanks all 😀

OP posts:
Isaidnoalready · 18/07/2022 22:29

Five minutes its Unreasonable

Five minutes struggling with crutches knowing you were scared veering into bit of a twat but forgivable terrain

Bringing it up as a "funny story" knowing how much it upset you at the time....dickhead

Original poster
Tryhard87 · 18/07/2022 22:30

Thanks @Soggycrisps , that probably was the main point. I had been on ventilator about 6 months before and I had foot drop so was a bit unsteady. However, I appreciate maybe even that I was being unreasonable!

OP posts:
MichelleScarn · 18/07/2022 22:32

Was he helping you walk or just escorting you? Why was he 'supposed' to be home at 9, who decided that?

Original poster
Tryhard87 · 18/07/2022 22:34

@MichelleScarn you make a good point. I suppose I decided he needed to escort me and maybe I need to think about expectations on that one. I wouldn’t come out to meet him, I suppose. Thank you.

OP posts:
Iflyaway · 18/07/2022 22:36

about 11.30. I had asked DH to meet me at the station because I was still struggling on crutches due to an illness and also I get scared walking home late on my own. He agreed.

Yet, instead of keeping to his agreement he came home at 6 a.m. having blown a load of money in a casino.

I would have been pissed off WAY before 4 years hence.

And now he is bringing it up as a "funny story"?!

Fuck that.

Are you so desperate to have a man in your life that you put up with such disrespectful behaviour from someone who is supposed to love you?

Each to their own I guess.

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