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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nursery sick of my child

114 replies

Ladymartin · 18/07/2022 18:51

Went to pick my daughter up from nursery today and her key worker practically threw her at me saying she’s been screaming all day and they have tried everything. This has been going on a while with one or other of them bringing my daughter to me saying she’s been crying etc and they can’t stop her. They have had a right day with her etc. I’m at a loss. She likes a lot of attention and being outside. I said this to the manager and she said we have playtimes but can’t be outside all day because of one child. I know today has been hot but his has been going on for months since she started. They just say she cries and screams like in temper but they try everything and she won’t stop. I have said what about solutions and they have said they literally can’t do more than they have done. I am a single parent and need to work. I have other children who went to this nursery and were fine. I told my sister and she just said well you know what she’s like she must do their heads in (not helping sis!!) Surely it’s their job to put up with crying children though? She has no issues or special needs apart from liking attention. She is almost two . Has anyone had children who acted like this ? I feel like I’m being unfair on the staff for inflicting her on them .

OP posts:
rainbowmilk · 19/07/2022 11:48

I think you are being unfair on the staff, yes. They may be childcare professionals but they're not magicians. Your child is unhappy in the setting. You need to either move her or talk to the nursery about implementing a joint plan to settle her. What's not an option is insisting that your child, the staff and other children should just deal with it because you have to work.

DixonD · 19/07/2022 11:54

Ohthatsexciting · 19/07/2022 06:09

I genuinely wonder how people like you get on in life.

I am going to take a punt - you enjoy your own company because you don’t have any other choice

🤣

Sartre · 19/07/2022 11:56

Childminder as many others have suggested. She needs to be in a different setting, this one obviously isn’t working for her.

Rosehugger · 19/07/2022 12:00

I don't know how more children aren't like this in a nursery setting. I never used a nursery as I thought it was an awful setting for under twos. DDs loved going to the childminders.

Littlefish · 19/07/2022 12:02

My daughter was very similar, and was with a childminder from 9 months old, when I went back to work.

The childminder gave me notice after 3 months because my dd just simply wasn't settling with her, and spent most of the day in tears. Dd always needed a lot of attention too.

Please don't assume that your dd doesn't have additional needs. At her age it's simply not always possible to know.

My dd was diagnosed with ADHD at 15.l years old. If she was to be assessed for it, all the professionals involved have said that she would also get a diagnosis of Autism.

None of this was obvious at 2, in fact, not until about 14!

aquatastics · 19/07/2022 12:34

So she's been screaming for months and you've just been dropping her off anyway?

DashboardConfessional · 19/07/2022 12:48

aquatastics · 19/07/2022 12:34

So she's been screaming for months and you've just been dropping her off anyway?

I suspect the issue here is that she is like this at home and OP just works around it. And she wants the nursery to do the same but they are pushing back instead of working around it because they have other children to consider. I can see both sides but it's been too long now so she needs a new setting.

RedWingBoots · 19/07/2022 12:53

OP you are aware there are settings who deal with and identify children with additional needs? So when you are eventually forced to move your child - as it is clear you won't do it off your own back - look for one of these.

Kite22 · 19/07/2022 17:47

All settings do or should @RedWingBoots

@Ladymartin - are you able to respond to some of these posts, tonight perhaps ?

RedWingBoots · 19/07/2022 17:49

@Kite22 well there clearly is one setting that isn't at the moment...

Crazycrazylady · 19/07/2022 18:17

Honestly it's sounds from everything you said including your sisters reaction that your baby is high needs . Absolutely nothing wrong with that, some kids simply are but it's very clear that the current setting isn't working for anyone . Dealing with a crying child all day is wearing on anyone even a loving parent. It's not surprisingly that the nursery staff are a little tired of it now. It sounds like your child requires moser attention than a nursery can give her. I'd move her to a different setting that can offer her more. It's awful to think of he crying all day every day if nothing else.

Prachiti · 23/05/2024 13:07

Hi I am also sailing in same boat like you
My daughter screams Alot in nursery atva her settling period it's been more than a month she cannot even settle down for 1 hr . Nursery staff only complains that she was upset screaming alot they agreed to me daily 1 hr bring her to get used to .today they told me we will do now half an hr everyday. I mean I ll work or pick and drop her for half e to nursery 😞 I am confused now ans don't know how to tackle with this situation

TheMixedGirl · 23/05/2024 14:03

dandelionthistle · 18/07/2022 19:11

Just spotted she is under two- they should have 1 adult to 3 children then! Let her have attention. What is it with this country and thinking that if a child shows they need some attention the 'right answer' is to refuse it? My DS was often the little shadow to his key person at this age, he just wandered around with her all day and she happily accepted that. By the time he was in a class of 30 he knew full well how to fit in and share the v finite attention and not disrupt everybody else. Long before then, in fact.

The nursery is the issue here, not your toddler.

Following around is one thing. Screaming and crying all day is a totally different matter

Hobnobswantshernameback · 23/05/2024 14:07

THIS THREAD IS TWO YEARS OLD
I suspect the situation may have moved
on a smidge 🙄

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