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Original poster

Friends didn't "tip"....bit tight?

592 replies

tvsavec · 18/07/2022 15:39

Me and three friends went to a little family run Greek restaurant.
The bill came to around £80 for four of us.
At the end of the meal
Friend 1 put £2 on the table and I also put £2
Friend 3 said "is that for a tip"
We said yeah.....she shouts for the waiter and hands him the £4 and says thanks
They didn't bother to put a couple of pound in each

Aibu to think it's a bit tight?

OP posts:
SofiaSoFar · 21/07/2022 09:31

Off topic I know, but why are waitresses/waiters being referred to as "servers"?

Is the old term deemed offensive these days (if so I'll make sure not to use it)?

I feel as though something has passed me by.

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 21/07/2022 10:04

@chiweenie yeah, not really buying that you funded a degree through tips alone, despite your attempt at your hero’s story.

And no need to apologise. I lead a very good life where I’m not thin skinned about other people’s situations and start boo-hooing over people leaving a £1 tip rather than £2.

And as I say, unlike you who clearly grew up in the US, I saw tipping as a nice extra perk not a necessity when I waitressed. Still do. This is why the world hates America - you can’t see that not everyone does things like you do and that’s ok. There’s no need to leave a ‘big American style tip’ in the UK. It’s fine if you don’t.

I also assume you tip the supermarket workers, McDonalds workers and all other NWM workers? If not, then why not?

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 21/07/2022 10:07

SofiaSoFar · 21/07/2022 09:31

Off topic I know, but why are waitresses/waiters being referred to as "servers"?

Is the old term deemed offensive these days (if so I'll make sure not to use it)?

I feel as though something has passed me by.

Because some people on this thread, despite their claims otherwise, are American and are using American language. It’s why they’re so upset when people don’t tip. It’s a country OBSESSED with having the most money in their pockets, it’s the be all and end all, and they are happy for their country to shit all over its people WRT finances and blame their friends and peers. It’s probably the same reason they think it’s radicalism to have a free healthcare Austen, they think they have it good paying millions of dollars to have cancer or a baby

restedbutexhausted · 21/07/2022 10:11

@LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet it's becoming more common to hear the word server in the UK. We use it at work both on menus and when talking to customers.

TrashPandas · 21/07/2022 10:11

chiweenie Please stop pretending you were a waitress in the UK. Many of us here actually were, and we can tell you're talking complete bollocks.

EV117 · 21/07/2022 10:30

Yes it funded my entire degree including my tuition fees. I had access to no loans.

😂

Wow that’s heaps of money then. I think if I made that much money from serving food I personally wouldn’t bother with the degree. Just carry on waitressing surely, and live a life of luxury from what it can provide. All those waiters and waitresses not spending their money on degrees must go on very fancy holidays… I would if I had 9 grand spare from tips yearly.

babyjellyfish · 21/07/2022 10:35

ThreeLittleDots · 20/07/2022 18:07

Not to the staff it's not

This sounds grabby. Repeat custom and spreading the word is worth thousands per year to a business. It's worth more than an individual server's tips, and also means the restaurant is more solvent.

But the waiting staff don't share in the profits of the business. They get their hourly wage, plus tips.

They would much rather non tippers didn't come regularly and take up tables which could be booked by people who aren't tight arses.

ThreeLittleDots · 21/07/2022 10:44

Bollocks. Tippers don't keep restaurants afloat. Do you know how many are closing every week because of lack of trade?

ThreeLittleDots · 21/07/2022 10:46

Plus increases in the cost of supplies, energy, rent... Restaurants want people through the doors. Tipping doesn't come into it.

TrashPandas · 21/07/2022 10:49

They would much rather non tippers didn't come regularly and take up tables which could be booked by people who aren't tight arses.

No, "they" wouldn't. Lots of us are on this thread confirming that we don't care.

I waitressed for three years. Tipping is not expected or necessary. We don't keep a tally of who tips and who doesn't. This is not the US.

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 21/07/2022 12:05

TrashPandas · 21/07/2022 10:11

chiweenie Please stop pretending you were a waitress in the UK. Many of us here actually were, and we can tell you're talking complete bollocks.

Agreed - £100 per night in tips in the Year 2000 for just one waitress? Pull the other one

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 21/07/2022 12:07

babyjellyfish · 21/07/2022 10:35

But the waiting staff don't share in the profits of the business. They get their hourly wage, plus tips.

They would much rather non tippers didn't come regularly and take up tables which could be booked by people who aren't tight arses.

Show quote history

So what.

it’s not up to waiters and waitresses what kind of people go to the restaurant and if they do t like it then tough shit.

who actually goes to these things to make the serving staff happy father for their own enjoyment?

tigger1001 · 21/07/2022 12:08

"But the waiting staff don't share in the profits of the business. They get their hourly wage, plus tips.

They would much rather non tippers didn't come regularly and take up tables which could be booked by people who aren't tight arses."

The people coming through the doors allow the business to stay open and continue to employ people.

In the current economic climate that's imperative. Not whether they tip or not. Tips won't be valuable if the restaurant closes.

Reallyreallyborednow · 21/07/2022 12:33

You clearly don't care much, if you did you would understand servers rely on their tips

if you knew anything about the UK service industry, you’d understand wait staff do not rely on tips, or even expect them.

the idea of paying for uni off tips alone 😂😂. If that were possible do you think anyone would have student debt?

like everyone else has said, For UK wait staff tips are a nice bonus. Not expected, or relied on. I have also never worked in a restaurant where staff vie for the customers who look like they’ll tip, and are reluctant to serve those who don’t. Every place I have worked you do what’s needed, not just “your” tables. I’d have been sacked if I gave preferential treatment to anyone.

babyjellyfish · 21/07/2022 12:40

In the current economic climate that's imperative. Not whether they tip or not. Tips won't be valuable if the restaurant closes.

Restaurants are crying out for staff since Covid, in case you hadn't heard...

babyjellyfish · 21/07/2022 12:43

Anyway, the point I'm making is that if I were a waitress and had regular customers who didn't tip but thought that their regular presence was enough of a thank you for my service, my reaction when I saw them coming through the door wouldn't be, "oh, how lovely, they're back again", but "oh no, those non-tipping cheapskates are back again".

If there were spare tables I'd probably just concentrate most of my energy on customers who were more likely to tip, and I wouldn't go above and beyond for those people. If the restaurant was full I'd be quietly cross that they were taking up a table which might otherwise be taken by someone who would tip.

TrashPandas · 21/07/2022 12:46

if I were a waitress...

Just proves my point. Those of us who have actually been waitresses don't care about tipping. Please stop being arses on our behalves.

babyjellyfish · 21/07/2022 12:56

I was a waitress for years.

I worked hard for my tips and I relied on them as part of my income.

And in my experience, almost everyone does tip, so if you're the one who doesn't, you're the odd one out.

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 21/07/2022 12:58

babyjellyfish · 21/07/2022 12:43

Anyway, the point I'm making is that if I were a waitress and had regular customers who didn't tip but thought that their regular presence was enough of a thank you for my service, my reaction when I saw them coming through the door wouldn't be, "oh, how lovely, they're back again", but "oh no, those non-tipping cheapskates are back again".

If there were spare tables I'd probably just concentrate most of my energy on customers who were more likely to tip, and I wouldn't go above and beyond for those people. If the restaurant was full I'd be quietly cross that they were taking up a table which might otherwise be taken by someone who would tip.

Do you often think that your workplace is only there to serve you and your needs?

if you were a waitress you wouldn’t be able to pick and choose who you served, it doesn’t work like that.

babyjellyfish · 21/07/2022 12:59

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 21/07/2022 12:58

Do you often think that your workplace is only there to serve you and your needs?

if you were a waitress you wouldn’t be able to pick and choose who you served, it doesn’t work like that.

Show quote history

No, but you can pick and choose who you go above and beyond for. Someone who was already known to be a non-tipper wouldn't be getting anything more than the basic order taking and plate clearing.

Reallyreallyborednow · 21/07/2022 13:00

*Anyway, the point I'm making is that if I were a waitress and had regular customers who didn't tip but thought that their regular presence was enough of a thank you for my service, my reaction when I saw them coming through the door wouldn't be, "oh, how lovely, they're back again", but "oh no, those non-tipping cheapskates are back again".

If there were spare tables I'd probably just concentrate most of my energy on customers who were more likely to tip, and I wouldn't go above and beyond for those people. If the restaurant was full I'd be quietly cross that they were taking up a table which might otherwise be taken by someone who would tip*

if you were a waitress 😂😂.

Like I said, most UK places would not be happy if you gave preferential treatment. You would also not be popular with other staff if you shirked because you might not get a tip. Thirdly, with that attitude you are setting yourself up for fewer tips, as it’s very difficult to judge who might tip, and they certainly won’t if you don’t give them good service.

Restaurants are crying out for staff since Covid, in case you hadn't heard...

yes, and no restaurant in the Uk will attract staff by telling them the pay is shit, but there’s always tips…

If they want to attract staff, they will offer a good wage. As you have been told countless times, tips are nice, but UK wait staff work for their wage, not tips.

babyjellyfish · 21/07/2022 13:03

if you were a waitress

I was. For years.

Like I said, most UK places would not be happy if you gave preferential treatment. You would also not be popular with other staff if you shirked because you might not get a tip. Thirdly, with that attitude you are setting yourself up for fewer tips, as it’s very difficult to judge who might tip, and they certainly won’t if you don’t give them good service.

In most restaurants, all staff would share the same opinion of known non-tippers. Basic service only.

yes, and no restaurant in the Uk will attract staff by telling them the pay is shit, but there’s always tips…

If they want to attract staff, they will offer a good wage. As you have been told countless times, tips are nice, but UK wait staff work for their wage, not tips.

They work for both.

If telling yourself that not tipping is totally normal makes you feel better about not tipping, you do you I guess.

But in my experience, not tipping when there is no issue with the service isn't normal.

tigger1001 · 21/07/2022 13:04

babyjellyfish · 21/07/2022 12:40

In the current economic climate that's imperative. Not whether they tip or not. Tips won't be valuable if the restaurant closes.

Restaurants are crying out for staff since Covid, in case you hadn't heard...

And that stoops if people suddenly don't eat out as much.

Restaurants are struggling. If they close, then the staff no longer have a job.

tigger1001 · 21/07/2022 13:05

*stops

babyjellyfish · 21/07/2022 13:06

tigger1001 · 21/07/2022 13:04

And that stoops if people suddenly don't eat out as much.

Restaurants are struggling. If they close, then the staff no longer have a job.

Show quote history

Is there any actual evidence of a link between people not tipping and restaurants being better able to stay afloat?