Friends didn't "tip"....bit tight?

[tvsavec]

Me and three friends went to a little family run Greek restaurant.
The bill came to around £80 for four of us.
At the end of the meal
Friend 1 put £2 on the table and I also put £2
Friend 3 said "is that for a tip"
We said yeah.....she shouts for the waiter and hands him the £4 and says thanks
They didn't bother to put a couple of pound in each

Aibu to think it's a bit tight?

"Cheaper to entertain at home."

Cheaper to pay for everyone's food and not just your own?
I think it only works out cheaper if you're in a group where everybody entertains. If you're not, it will just be you paying for everything all the time.

Not saying you have to provide all the food!

So Friend 3 is a tight wad but wants to appear generous - she hands the tip she didn't contribute to over to the waiter.
What about Friend 4 ?

I dislike mean people.

I find this thread a bit baffling. I’ve looked at a few “visit England” sites, and all say that tipping is not customary in the UK and are very specific to say not to tip if there’s a service charge, and to check your bill. I don’t know where people live in the UK where they think tipping is normal. Tipping has long been replaced by the service charge where I am. People who are being castigated here for not tipping are still likely to paying the service charge - which is another name for a tip, I suppose. That’s what I do - I pay the service charge, I would never leave a tip. That’s what the service charge is for. People who pay the service charge are more generous and less mean than those who leave tips, as the service charge can be 15%, not a miserly 10% for a tip, or a couple of quid.

But the sneery posters on the thread like chucking down coins or waving a fiver in the air so that they are seen to be doing.the.right.thing.

I don't mind paying a service charge, just as long as there is service and that is the lever. Restaurants don't care about tipping, if they did, they would pay their staff better in the first place.

Tightwads, I'd tip a minimum of a tenner on a £80 bill.

Haha this made me laugh, and as someone who has done both waitressing and care work I can tell you that the latter is 10 times harder than waitressing physically, mentally and emotionally, and thank God carers don’t have the shitty and entitled attitude of a previous poster who would avoid clients who don’t show them enough gratitude.

Oh and for what it’s worth I used to tip before I grew intelligent enough to reason and confident enough not to be a sheep.

Anyone who says 'I grew intelligent enough' really isn't. This is simply all about you being tight. Own it, don't excuse it with crap that makes you look daft.

I have enjoyed the scrooges trying to justify themselves on this post.

On top of a service charge? That's your own business but wind your neck in. Don't go judging because you choose to tip!

I never said I was a genius, just that I am now intelligent enough to reason that waiters don’t need or deserve tips any more than any other low payed employee does.
I have enjoyed the oh so generous getting so irate at the people who don’t tip though.

But why should people with less money miss out @LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet ?

Perhaps they'd like to join in and be sociable?

Because basic budgeting is cutting your cloth accordingly. And meals out aren’t the only way people can socialise. If you only have £30 in your account to last you 4 days, going out for a meal, even if you just have salad and a water, isn’t a brilliant idea and it isn’t a good given right to do so.

Tipping gives me huge anxiety to be fair because I don't understand which people to tip and which ones not to. Like why tip a hairdresser but not a bin man?

I also thought it was a thing in America because waiting staff aren't paid a living wage whereas here they are.

Also my sister used to work for a restaurant where tips were shared out equally by everyone including management. Well management are probably paid more than me. If I do tip, I don't want it going to management, I want it to go to the person in tipping.

Trashpanda, gosh aren't you the steely determined one trying to get everyone to agree with you- "we all agree she is not from England and has not waitressed here". What is that all about? Raised in the UK, Left the UK as an adult, watched the Big Breakfast throughout my 20s, and Panorama on a Monday night and those arty Channel 4 films mid week...and cheery Anne Diamond on a morning what is the deal with denying me my heritage Panda? It is a little odd to be so very pedantic on this point your end. Do you want to set a quiz for me to do to prove my British credentials?

Also. Weak investigation/inferring skills there. Not in the FBI are you.

As someone born in the UK, if you leave and live outside the UK for over 2 years I think it was back then, you are considered Non-Resident and this is not the same as non-citizen. At the time it meant I had to cough up about 1k a year in tuition plus books and then maybe 7 k rent and then food and bills on top of that. My waitressing job enabled me to pay tuition rent and bills and thank God the tightwadders stayed away from the branch I worked in in central London. I tried a few restaurants till I found one where they gave me a section to work and I kept 100% of my tips and I worked very hard to look after my customers, even those non-tippers, who I got good at predicting quite fast as we all did as they affected our hourly rate of take home money.

Never done any waitressing in the US but I have eaten out more here now I earn a US style wage and I tip 18-20 here and 10-15 % when in the UK.

It is embarrassing not to tip in a sit down restaurant in the UK and it was 20 years ago when I was waitressing and a small minority of people did nt, the tightwadders I call them. It is never people who cannot afford it, it is the tightwads because they have a compulsion to not spend money unless it is on themselves I guess. The act of leaving a fiver on a plate is just anathema to them. And they are so principled about their many reasons for not leaving that fiver. Probably also very ardent about proving a stranger on a forum is also not who they say they are...on some level I feel sorry for them because that kind of tightness it is a human compulsion and it shows up in other areas of a person's behaviors and not in a good way ever ( it is a know turn off when you go on a date and someone is tight) and I get it there people find it hard to overcome it but you can train yourself, look at the bill, work out ten per cent and pull that 5 pound note or ten pound note out and slap it on the tip tray. I will be proud of you and so will all the waiting staff. You can do it. Then walk away. You did the right thing. That waiter may be paying their college tuition with that tip. I know that I did.Thank you generous tippers of London- I was grateful then and I am 20 years on. You all made my night every night,9 out of 10 of you anyway.

Oh FGS @chiweenie a solute it nobody believes you were a waitress in London. You’re the only person saying that not tipping affects a UK waiters’ wage and that it’s the norm to tip at least 10%.

And please at least try to stay consistent with your story when you say where you were raised and where you’ve lived and live now.

The non-resident rule still applies although I believe it’s 3 years not 2. But TBH, I don’t think being born in a country and then buggering off somewhere else to be educated and pay taxes, or if your parents choose to live elsewhere and pay taxes there. Should make you eligible on the same way as settled residents. You can’t have it all ways. But hey it’s a good job that you earned eleventy billion dollars, sorry pounds, through tips and could budget your way through rent, bills AND tuition in London with no financial help whatsoever. Totally plausible.

@chiweenie You posts become more comical the more you read them, so you claim 20 years ago you expected people to leave you £5-10 tips or they were tightwadders!

You do realise that 20 years ago that equates to £10-£20 tips you expected every time! (from bank of England calculator)

Panoram and Anne Diamond

This is the thread that keeps on giving (unlike diners in the UK).

Shootfrom the bonnet

My message was for panda who is being a nationality-denying pedant so God only knows if she has ever left a tip in her life- that level of pedantry will leak out everywhere I suspect. The petty brings the petty out in me today...

I am saying today when you go for a meal just leave 10 % tip for every underpaid waiter's sake, is what I am saying.

Today that is a fiver or a tenner yes on a 50 quid or 100 quid meal.
Back then it was 3 quid or 5 quid on each table and that topped my hourly rate up from the measly rate that it was at the time.
If you are not tipping you are being tight arsed and all the chat on here won't change you sorry- be generous and tip.
Tip the carer too if it matters to you- I certainly give gifts to people who contribute to people I care about but I know carers get paid more than waitresses do too.

Here is the recap

Just leave a tip if you want to be a decent person.

OR

Be a tightwad and don't leave a tip

but YABU to not leave a tip.

To clarify, In England leave 10-12.5 % and 15% if you wish to be generous.
In the US leave 18% and 20% if you wish to be generous unless the server is a complete arse and the service terrible- then you can just leave 10%.

Thems the rules tighwads...the rest of us know them

I am assuming you paid tax on all these tips?

"Oh FGS @chiweenie a solute it nobody believes you were a waitress in London. You’re the only person saying that not tipping affects a UK waiters’ wage and that it’s the norm to tip at least 10%.

And please at least try to stay consistent with your story when you say where you were raised and where you’ve lived and live now.The non-resident rule still applies although I believe it’s 3 years not 2. But TBH, I don’t think being born in a country and then buggering off somewhere else to be educated and pay taxes, or if your parents choose to live elsewhere and pay taxes there. Should make you eligible on the same way as settled residents. You can’t have it all ways. But hey it’s a good job that you earned eleventy billion dollars, sorry pounds, through tips and could budget your way through rent, bills AND tuition in London with no financial help whatsoever. Totally plausible." Lydia'sUglyBonnet

Ugly Bonnet I think it is just you out with your forensic comb on my story to be honest but you go girl if it makes you happy...excuse me for forgetting the non resident rule with it being over 20 years ago and no longer being relevant to my current life. I went travelling, as it was a recession and there were. few jobs to be had that were acceptable to me and I saw something of the world, waitressed as well as did other jobs) over there too (loved Americans there too- generous with the tips of course and all round nice customers) and being a young person I was unaware it would screw me over when it came to applying for college on my return to the UK- and it would bar me from accessing any loans at all so those tips enabled me to get my university education and I will always be grateful 90% of the customers were not UglyBonnet and Panda back then-shheeesh what did your parents teach you? To be tight?You can do better guys. Finished my degree with zero debt of course, because I could not access the loans to get into debt of course. Waitressing was my way to get a higher education. Tips were90% of that income.

I am speaking from my experience of working for many years and using my tips to put myself through college and I can see my story irks you as it contradicts your narrative that people do not need to tip- this thread reveals more people tip. You are in an ugly tightwad minority all of your own so bonnet up love and drink your tea and tip off. Lucky for the waiters you encounter, they only encounter you in a 1 in 10 ratio, so think on that as you sup your tip-free tea next time...

It’s incredibly tight not to tip after a meal unless there’s a service charge. That’s been the case for a very long time. My parents definitely left tips in the 1970s!

And it absolutely is the norm to tip a minimum of 10%. Between 10 and 12% for reasonable service. Between 12 and 15% for excellent service.

@FlorettaB how do you know that a minimum 10% is the "norm"?
Have they done studies or asked restaurants about it ?

FWIW I used to religiously leave 10%, but restaurant prices have risen much faster than our salaries, so now I'll still tip but tend to either leave a £5 or a £10 depending on the cost of the meal, if service is excellent we'll tip at least 10%.

What people did 50 years ago is irrelevant. They didn’t have the minimum wage then. And now restaurants have a service charge - that replaced tipping years ago.