Tip the carer too if it matters to you- I certainly give gifts to people who contribute to people I care about but I know carers get paid more than waitresses do too.
@chiweenie
You can't tip carers, there are very specific rules around what carers can receive from clients/families and you can be referred to safeguarding for breaking them by accepting gifts, most providers have rules around that and there's usually a limit of £5, maybe £10. A one off gift, or one given by family or left in a will is more acceptable because the idea behind it is that a) the person gifting is not expecting more because they're gifting the carers something which disadvantages those who can't and b) stops unscrupulous people fleecing the vulnerable people in their care.
Christmas is an exception where families or clients gift chocolate or similar to the whole team, or home/service, but 'tipping' or gifting to one person isn't really allowed.
I will say though that funnily enough these rules got relaxed during covid where gifts consisted of gloves, aprons, facemasks, handwash etc and things we needed to do our jobs safely, and should have been bloody well provided by the providers but weren't. We also got pizza's and food hampers and in one case, toilet rolls (gratefully appreciated because by the time you'd finished your shift and got into the shops, the shelves were bare). But these were gifted as a whole, between staff and residents rather than to just one person.
And carers do not get paid more than waiting staff, not IME and I've worked in both jobs (I have gone from one to the other) for over 25 years. I have similar levels of experience and skills in both areas and am supervisory level in both - I get paid more for that in hospitality, and the nmw is the same if you're a carer or a waitress. The difference is the level of responsibilities and everything that goes with that.
I can afford to tip these days, and generally do, but there's been times I haven't and I don't agree with the premise that if you can't afford to tip 10% then you shouldn't eat out. I'd much rather receive a bit of respect, a few kind words and a good review from someone who has budgeted for a meal and really enjoyed themselves, but can't afford to leave a tip than a tip from someone who treats me like a skivvy, feels up my junior staff, shouts at them and thinks they deserve more time and attention than any other guest we're serving at the time simply because they have more money. That's just playing into the idea that people with more money are more important than those with less and I really disagree with that.
Tips are gratefully appreciated when they come but as I and many others have said, not expected and not resented when they don't.
I've experienced before being told 'and don't expect a tip!' and I can see that that attitude probably comes from them having dealt with service from people like you and they then believe we're all like that, makes the job harder and increases the us against them vibe which makes it really hard to give good service because someone is coming at you with a negative attitude before You've even started.