Friends didn't "tip"....bit tight?

[tvsavec]

Me and three friends went to a little family run Greek restaurant.
The bill came to around £80 for four of us.
At the end of the meal
Friend 1 put £2 on the table and I also put £2
Friend 3 said "is that for a tip"
We said yeah.....she shouts for the waiter and hands him the £4 and says thanks
They didn't bother to put a couple of pound in each

Aibu to think it's a bit tight?

it’s just a bit weird

It is completely illogical and boils down to people being not wanting to be judged if they don't do it. Nothing more. The vitriol against non-tippers perpetuates the ridiculous practice.

It's like tipping was the antiquated custom when dealing with people in 'servile' roles, where the tipper is seen (and certainly wants to be seen) as the 'great benefactor' and the tipee as the 'grateful lowly hard-up'. This is just not the case in the UK.

I didn't get tipped as a NMW (private) healthcare receptionist, despite leaving my desk to talk to patients, bringing them their forms, listening to their problems, taking care of their shopping, explaining procedures, allaying their fears. I would have felt patronised if someone had tipped me for doing my job!

I agree with this.

Where has this sense of entitlement from service workers sprung from? You take food to a table, you aren’t working for the UN. You’re polite to customers - so fucking what. Not being shut at your job does not equate to being good at your job.

Is this why most servers these days are such misers?

And those who judge non-tippers - why don’t we tip NWM care workers who wipe the backsides of our loved ones on a daily basis? In my grandad’s care home I can’t even bring them a gift worth more than a tenner. But someone with a face like a smacked arse should be tipped a fiver for carrying a plate over to me?

This just sounds like you hate all hospitality workers. I've known some people like this but I've also known others who are wonderful. I'm sure people who work in care homes, hospitals, schools etc etc have faces like smacked arses too

Where has this sense of entitlement from service workers sprung from

To be fair to the other people who have worked in hospitality on this thread, most of them (and it's my experience too) have stated that a tip isn't expected. What they do expect is to be treated with respect.

"But someone with a face like a smacked arse should be tipped a fiver for carrying a plate over to me?"

To be fair this doesn't bear much resemblance to the OP where she said she received excellent service and each diner only needed to tip £2 to give the servers a good tip.

I have never tipped and never will, I believe it encourages employers to pay lower wages, and also as others have said, why tip one lot of workers and not others. If you go into a dress shop, spend a couple of hours trying things on, with a member of staff getting different items, different sizes, etc., and generally giving you the best possible service, would you tip them? I very much doubt it, and yet even if you get very mediocre service in a restaurant, people think you're tight if you don't tip. Ridiculous!

Where has this sense of entitlement from service workers sprung from?

It doesn't come from them. Note that most of the pro-tippers aren't waiting staff, and most waiting staff say that tipping isn't expected.

I have worked in hospitality and know lots of people who do, very much pro tipping here

Yet you don't tip hairdressers who are on their feet for over an hour paying you very personal attention. Why not?

The service charge doesn’t really make sense to me - it sounds like you’re paying for an added extra. Like you have the option to go and tell the kitchen what you want yourself and go and fetch it from there when it’s ready, but prefer to get waited on so you need to cough up for that. It’s not optional in a restaurant to receive service, it’s just part and parcel of being there. Tips for outstanding service makes sense. Service charge for the basics of being in a restaurant doesn’t. You might as well add a cutlery and plate usage charge. Seating charge for using the chairs. Maybe a bathroom charge too…

And it's usually the most grasping and grabby people who think they absolutely MUST be tipped - and the very hard-of-thinking people who barrel in to support that daft and outdated notion, sounding more foolish by the minute.

It was cheeky for the person not paying a tip to hand it over.

But completely up to them whether they tip or not.

I tip if the service is above and beyond.

Trashpandas, i do but I rarely go to the hairdressers

Angelinflipflops You agreed with another poster that tipping hairdressers isn't necessary though. Why?

One thing has always bothered me and that is the endless railing here that, when bad customers leave mess/are rude, it seems to be acceptable to many on MN just as long as it is accompanied by a 'BIG TIP!'.

I see this phrase so often here - I hope they left a Big Tip, I don't wonder why there is no expectation on customers to be polite and respectful when serving staff are so willing to be 'bought' for a few pounds instead of decent behaviour from customers.

It's obnoxious from both sides - customers and servers. Expecting decent, respectful behaviour should be a given, not some sort of lever for extracting money from the customer. Have some self-respect ffs.

Hospitality management need to step up to make their employees' working conditions and pay better. That is on them. If you work for a sleazy company then that's on you and for you to resolve.

Staff with really good customer service skills are in demand everywhere and for good reason; they're excellent.

To be fair it's not a problem that comes up much for me as most of my friends tip

Trashpandas, I agreed that hairdressers is less clear cut, but I do

I 'tip' my hairdresser. I also followed her from her salon. We share a love of a fragrance £££ and sometimes I give her something from that when I buy one for myself. My hair costs £140+; it's her expertise that I'm paying for - it's her brilliant service that I'm showing appreciation for.

Ditto my personal trainer, ditto beautician. I don't begrudge any of it because they're excellent. I'm loyal and don't go to anybody else.

Why should it be assumed that we tip waiters? We pay for our meal and then we leave. We pay for our shopping in tescos.. do we tip the checkout person? We go to the dentist for a checkup, we pay our bill... we don't tip the dentist?

Dodging the question again... why is it less clear cut?

Plus what is good service?

I used to wait tables in a London gastropub that had made its way into a travel guide so we had loads of (mostly) American tourists rolling up. Generally speaking the Brits rarely tipped no matter how attentive you were but the Americans really scrutinsed you and would tip accordingly. They set the bar high and initially I was a bit irritated by all the little demands but if you got it right they threw money at you. Yes, they expected a cheery greeting and almost faux cheeriness throughout, they expected you to know the menus inside out, to be able to marry wines to the dish, make them feel welcome and comfortable, have a bit of a joke and a laugh, interact with their kids etc. I also cottoned on early into the job that many of the tourist customers would ask for recommendations as to what to see in London outside of the 'big ticket' sights. I would buy Time Out magazine and study what was going on in the theatre, galleries, exhibitions, comedy and sports world and could make a raft of suggestions to enhance their stay or offer tips on how to save money on travel or group bookings. I made a bloody fortune in tips, from the outside I probably looked like some lickspittle sycophant, but I did not care.

I don't pay a service charge if it's optional and then I will tip in cash, never by card. Service charges are dealt with in different ways by hospitality and restaurants, and can be quite complicated.

Sounds more like a concierge service there, Dillon. I'm not surprised the US customers liked this. You put in the work you needed to achieve a good tip. The fakery wouldn't be for everybody but, fair play, you do what you do and there's nothing else to say about it.

Yep. And considering whether they'll be tipped or not is the least of a server's worries, in my experience.

They're more concerned with things like...

Whether all their bookings are going to turn up

Whether people understand that empty tables doesn't indicate availability

If the patron is going to be one of these people who complain for no reason just to get money off or a free meal (usually at least one every shift)

If they will be talked down to or ignored at the table by snobby patrons - please kindly stop your conversation so we can serve you and get on with our day

If they will have to clear up a bombsite after a messy table has left

If they will have to avoid spilling things on kids running around because their parents think it's adorable

If they'll have to put up with crap or sleazy jokes and innuendo, or someone taking too much of an interest in them - nobody wants to worry that they're going to followed home afterwards by a creep!

If they'll get shouted at for things that are outside of their control