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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Nudity between family

173 replies

Nudityetiquette · 17/07/2022 20:29

AIBU to think that it is weird that my boyfriend let his mum come into the bathroom for a wee whilst he was nakedly shaving his body (possibly chest, possibly butt). Background: Portuguese family where bf is only child (seen as miracle child) and family are liberal and very comfortable with nudity together and talking about sex.

OP posts:
Baaa · 18/07/2022 00:16

I love these threads that just get weirder as they go on.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 18/07/2022 00:23

It's only weird if you're sexualising it. A naked body isn't a shameful thing, and sometimes you just have to go and can't wait. I highly doubt his mum stared at his genitals or even glanced in their direction or vice versa. If i'm in the shower and someone has to go i'm okay with that, opaque shower curtain.

DarlingDarwin · 18/07/2022 03:48

No, you’re right. Sunday nights trolls usually go out to do the big food shop. Everyone knows that 😂

DarlingDarwin · 18/07/2022 03:49

VladmirsPoutine · 17/07/2022 23:17

Oh no. Do you reckon it's one of those? Surely not on a Sunday night!??

Show quote history

Quote fail on my behalf there 😂

blubbabubba · 18/07/2022 07:08

This 🤣 aren't you a smigedon concerned that going away with his friends preperation involves, arse shaving 😳😳😳

Wherever this is real or not, they description of the boyfriend at the engage of the tub made me laugh out loud too😭

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 18/07/2022 07:29

luxxlisbon · 17/07/2022 20:32

I’m just going to focus on why he was standing in the bathroom shaving his bum?

Perhaps because the local barber has stopped offering this service...

...because of a pending court appearance?

Hmm
Soubriquet · 18/07/2022 07:36

We have no problem with nudity in this family

I currently am walking around in just a pair of knickers. My boobs are on show.

I will keep doing this until my children tell me they are uncomfortable, and then I’ll stop.

RockinHorseShit · 18/07/2022 07:46

Perfectly normal if she needed a wee & that was the available bathroom

I personally find the over sexualisation of nudity weird. He's her DS ffs Confused

Harridance · 18/07/2022 08:09

Soubriquet, the onus shouldn't be on your kids to let you know when they find it uncomfortable

LaughandGiggle · 18/07/2022 08:15

When I was a kid growing up we didn't really do nudity in our house.

However, with my tweens, none of us bat an eyelid at nudity. My other half is a bit weird about it but the rest of us not. I just think that they're my kids, I gave birth to them and taken care of their every need. They've seen me on the loo since they were tiny so don't bat an eyelid.

If my son was an adult and still felt comfortable, then I wouldn't be bothered about this.

RockinHorseShit · 18/07/2022 08:17

Ignore the naysayers Sobriquet Ditto here too & DC have grown up to be comfortable in own skin & have a less sexualised relationship with nudity

sheabatta · 18/07/2022 08:20

Harridance · 18/07/2022 08:09

Soubriquet, the onus shouldn't be on your kids to let you know when they find it uncomfortable

I think so too. If you're close maybe, but I'd never have brought it up, be too embarrassed (especially for a son to say to his mom)

Harridance · 18/07/2022 08:23

It's possible to be comfortable in your own skin and not want to show it all to either your parent or your child

Musmerian · 18/07/2022 08:25

Harridance · 17/07/2022 20:34

Doing a wee in front of your adult child is not normal

Disagree. We have one bathroom and my children will often come and chat/have a wee while I’m in the bath. Why do you get to define what normal is?

Soubriquet · 18/07/2022 08:27

My children have grown up like this. They know they can tell me anything and so far don’t have a problem with it. Trust me I would know.

However, if or when they get to that age, then I will respect their decision. Same goes to their own bodies.

At the moment, neither child has a problem with wiggling their bum at me. If they get to age where they would want privacy, I would give it To them

Icanstillrecallourlastsummer · 18/07/2022 08:27

In other countries this is just not weird. The British are VERY prudish about nudity generally.

RockinHorseShit · 18/07/2022 08:27

It's possible to be comfortable in your own skin and not want to show it all to either your parent or your child

I'm sure it's more comfortable than having that weird attitude to nudity foisted on them. 🙄

Icanstillrecallourlastsummer · 18/07/2022 08:29

RockinHorseShit · 18/07/2022 07:46

Perfectly normal if she needed a wee & that was the available bathroom

I personally find the over sexualisation of nudity weird. He's her DS ffs Confused

And agree with this. The external insiuation that if you are naked you must be angling towards soemthing sexual. It's utterly bizzare and, in my view, quite damaging. I am fairly certain it is one of the things contributing to poor breastfeeding rates in the UK - this idea the body, boobs, etc are something primarily sexual.

Hoppinggreen · 18/07/2022 08:34

DH is from a Euro background known for being comfortable with nudity and it sounds like the kind of thing his family would have done (without the shaving bit). He said he remembers being on the loo while his sister was in the shower and his mum cleaned her teeth all at the same time.
I am not as comfortable with it and neither are the dc now they are older so we respect that but when the dc were younger we used to let them be as naked as they chose when appropriate. My Mum was horrified when 3 year old DD was allowed in her paddling pool naked in our (not over looked) garden.
If your BF and his Mum want to do that then thats up to them, you dont have to join in

Sswhinesthebest · 18/07/2022 08:35

We only stopped walking round naked when our kids got embarrassed.

I can see that it can easily continue if no one actually minds. What does you bf think?

sheabatta · 18/07/2022 08:45

Icanstillrecallourlastsummer · 18/07/2022 08:27

In other countries this is just not weird. The British are VERY prudish about nudity generally.

I'm guessing you're talking about a few other European countries, it's not most, and it's not a British thing to not shave your backside in front of mom, who has just squatted for a wee.

Not even saying it's 'wrong' that's up to the individuals but why are people acting like that is 'better' and more 21st century or something. Don't want to see my dads penis, don't want him to see me having a bikini wax.

parenthood1989 · 18/07/2022 08:53

Icanstillrecallourlastsummer · 18/07/2022 08:27

In other countries this is just not weird. The British are VERY prudish about nudity generally.

Come on, there is a world of difference between being ok with nudity and being spread eagled on the side of the bath while your mother casually goes for a wee. Surely even nudists would see that?

Whitehorsegirl · 18/07/2022 08:55

I would find this very weird.

As far as I am concerned some things should remain private. I wouldn't want anyone with me in the bathroom when I am using the loo for example.

I also am not keen either on parents who think it is OK to be nude in from of their kids once they are old enough to know what is going on.

I had a father who would always take showers in the nude in the garden (we lived in a hot Mediterranean country when I was a child) where he could potentially have been seen by neighbours/kids and I always found it intrusive and gross.

katesbushh · 18/07/2022 08:55

Yeah I think it's strange he was shaving his arsehole in front of his mum. I'm fairly relaxed with nudity but yeah that's very strange.

My teen girls often walk into my bathroom when I'm in the bath usually for a chat about what ever drama has gone on that day or to show me an outfit etc.
My son wouldn't and I wouldn't want him to either.

JasmineVioletRose · 18/07/2022 08:56

@mumsnet classic?