Definitely reporting now - is 101 the right number?

[PinkStarAtNight]

I started a thread the other week about whether I should report neighbours to SS because of child screaming through the night, and other things like mum being drunk in pool and not looking after the small children, smoking weed etc

Just now I've heard really really loud bangs coming from next door. No idea what it was, kind of sounded like a window being bashed closed again and again or something heavy being smashed down on worktops. Then lots of screaming from mother - 'STOP! STOP NOW' This went on for a while. It was so loud it sounded like it was coming from our upstairs (it's a semi detached)

Then child screaming and crying, sounds like same child from the other night. She is the smallest one I think. A toddler.

Then their back door opened and the crying child was pushed outside, with mother screaming 'GET OUT NOW! GET OUT THERE!...ITS TOO MUCH EMI. TOO MUCH' Then she slammed the door shut. The other kids were outside on the swings. They are a bit older but still young. They were trying to comfort small crying child.

They were saying to mum through window 'mum I can't talk to her because she just keeps asking for the door to be opened'. The mum shouted back 'No!'

A few mins later mum opened door and growled 'get in here'. Child still crying. Then I heard her say to slightly older children 'right I'm going upstairs, sort her out and DO NOT let her upstairs because honest to god I've enough.'

All is quiet now, but I really do need to report now don't I? I am in hold to 101. Have been a while now. .

Is 101 the right number? Or now everything is quiet should it be NSPCC or SS?

I live at home with my mum. She has just got home and I've told her why I'm calling 101 and she says she doesn't want me to call because she doesn't want any trouble. She thinks the police will come here and we will be in trouble with the neighbours.

What should I do?

Me too.I dont think this meets the threshold for abuse as and it will only add a layer of stress to the mother which won't benefit anyone

I really don't know why you keep posting details and then dithering about whether or not to phone.
Just phone the police and let them decide what action to take.

Nspcc. 999 if they are in imminent danger

I didn't realise you could report anonymously online.

Google is a wonderful thing you know. It's got all sorts of information including whether 101 is the right number.

It won't bring you as much attention as these threads do, but there you go.

It’s too late to ring the police now. However you should be calling the duty number for your local areas childrens services.

it might be this family need some more support, or they may already be known. It’s the social worker who completes a single assessment and makes a judgment call.

what I would say is can you live with yourself if something happened to those children. Everyone can safeguard children and often when cases come to light and serious case reviews etc it’s the fact that no one is talking or sharing information not just professionals.

your mum doesn’t need to know you called and also you don’t have to share your details with social care.

I have a 4YO and like pretty much every toddler mum I have 'lost it' with her. However, I have NEVER drunk heavily in front of her, expected another quite young child to be responsible for her, shouted so loudly at her that my neighbours hear every word, abused an animal.... From the description I'd say this does represent at least a family that isn't coping. By reporting to ss you're not saying that you wish the child to be removed from their parent's care or any kindof 'punishment'. You're simply saying that the child's environment is such that it might significantly hinder their safety, happiness or development. I definitely think this meets that threshold. Don't think about it OP just report it then it's ss's job to make the necessary assessments

Because it’s all a load of made up tosh. Where is OP this morning.?

How do you explain away the abuse of the dog then? By the adults and the children.

I reported my neighbour for something similar. It was done anonymously and Police didn't come to my door. I also called Social Work on the Monday.

Incident was just tip of iceberg, but Social Work did an investigation which led to uncovering all sorts of stuff that led to her children being removed from her care. Those kids are now safe with another family member. Other neighbours knew some of it, but didn't want to get involved, just like your Mum.

There were no repercussions on me, and I absolutely have no regrets about lifting that phone and sticking my nose in. Now those kids are safe.

Why are so many of you still believing this tosh.

The OP is just pissarsing about now.

Too many people have posted on this thread saying their children create merry hell when tantruming too and believe the mother described in the OP is just shutting herself indoors to calm down.

What if it's not just that? The family are reportedly openly abusing their dog. A defenceless animal. If they are capable of harming an animal, what's to say they're not capable of harming a child?

All this fannying and flapping about by the OP is just time-wasting. If she was worried enough to post this thread (and others) she should be worried enough to report and hand this whole situation over to somebody who is better equipped to deal with it.

The young children killed which hit the headlines far too fucking regularly (one is way too many) could all have been saved if those witnessing any POTENTIAL abuse reported it and those reports were taken as seriously as they deserve to be.

No more beating about the bush now. OP for every hour you dither and do nothing, that tiny child COULD potentially be another hour closer to being very seriously harmed because no adults could be arsed to intervene.

@Squiff70 and everyone else asking why I said 'definitely reporting now' and then still haven't, and that I'm just on here for attention -

at the time I wrote/titled the thread I WAS sure that I should definitely report, and was wanting advice as to whether 101 was the correct number. But then my mum came home and got angry when I explained I was on hold to 101 so I had to hang up and leave it.

Then quite a few people replied on here saying the incident didn't sound like abuse, just a stressed out mother, and talking about how SS could swoop in and take the kids into care. It made me think about how awful it is in care - they could get split up, they could be abused by foster parents...there's plenty of horror stories from the care system. If I'm wrong about them being abused by this mother I could well make their lives worse. So yes, I'm now confused and unsure what to do. Sorry for being human!

@PinkStarAtNight, you've also seen the kids hit the dog so what are your plans with that?

I'm speechless

Do people actually have a clue what it actually takes for a child to be taken into care. The threshold is really high! And ss always make contact with a family with the mindset that this is a last resort. Not to mention there's a tonne og legal blah blah to trudge through before removal can actually take place

I am an adopter. I have read a number of child profiles prior to adopting my child and let me tell you the things kids are removed for are not just a bit of shouting. They are things that would literally turn your stomach and birth parents who were given chance after chance to put things right

There's a whole load of work that ss do in between removing a child and doing nothing (which they might well also decide to do btw) but it's all done in the interest of the child. It's not your duty to decide what they do and don't do OP it's your job to alert them to children that might need their help. It's really very simple

@CallOnMe @Fingeronthebutton what horrible comments.

You think just because I asked for advice and then wavered on my decision on doing something massive like report someone to SS because I must have SEN or be 'a vulnerable adult'? I have every right to change my mind about something, to ask for advice and then take time to consider what to do. And I'm not scared of my mum, I just don't like being shouted at and I was considering whether it was my place to force her into confrontation with the neighbours when she said she didn't want that.

As for living at home at 25 - you really think anyone still living at home while they work and save up must be vulnerable? You sound very judgemental.

Where was I this morning? I have worked all week and it's Sunday. I was sleeping in and then enjoying my weekend. I don't live on MN

This sounds like a true story that actually happened. The stranger spoke ti her gardener friend who told you all about her confession.And you knew it was the same woman you had saved from herself
Aye ye did

I have now read the entire thread. I'm still unsure whether the things I have witnessed are child abuse or not, but quite a few people said its not my decision and all I have to do is report it and let the professionals decide so I decided to that. I tried calling the NSPCC but I got an automated message saying due to increased demand their phone service is only available 9-4 Monday to Friday. I tried calling the out of hours number for my local social services but it just rang for a long time then disconnected. There's nothing actually happening at the moment so can't call the police.

I have sent an email to NSPCC. Basically just outlining everything, just copied and pasted a lot of what I wrote on my two threads. I put at the bottom that I wasn't sure whether this was anything serious and that there are times the children seem happy, well dressed etc, I'm just concerned about the weed, the drinking, the shouting/crying/banging and the way the mother talks to the kids. Also the 12 year old left in charge of them. I said that perhaps the mother just needs some support. I have left it with them, its up to them what they do now. I don't know whether they'll reply to the email or update me on what they're doing. I assume not.

As for the dog, I don't know whether to wait until its actually outside, so that they can come over straight away and see it for themselves.

Such high drama over a quick report.

@ThreeLocusts thank you for your kind comment. It's good to know not everyone on MN is judgemental

@PinkStarAtNight You quote “There's nothing actually happening at the moment so can't call the police.”
Of course you can call the police, use the non emergency number which u was trying before. 999 is for crimes happening now and emergency….101 is for non urgent or life threatening doesn’t matter if it happened a week ago. No matter what time or day it is. You will speak to a call handler who will listen to your concerns. It will then be down to the police wether they escalate it or not. But then you’ve done your part in reporting a concern for welfare. You seem to have ask for opinions but then given up quite easily. I have worked in youth support and police and social services do work outside of a working week even for minor issues as child safety is paramount!

That is child abuse and neglect. You have a moral obligation to report it!

Let’s hope you did indeed contact NSPCC. You can ring the police about previous incidents. You can log it online now, and refer to the previous incidents, also telling them you’ve reported to NSPCC. They too will make their own enquiries and decisions.

Could she have been saying “Immie”? I know a woman on Facebook who is always having social services called on her for screaming at her 4 kids. She thinks it is so unfair because she is a great mum, but psychologists have said the kids show signs of ptsd from it.

I’d call.