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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Share a hotel room with my mum

115 replies

Groovychick10 · 16/07/2022 16:22

Hi I was wondering if you kind mumsnetters could help me please.
My mum has very kindly offered to take me & my toddler away for a weekend,which would be lovely. The only thing is my mum is talking about the three of us sharing a room.
I didn't expect us all to be sharing a room. I thought I'd be me & my toddler in one room & my mum in another room.
I don't mean to sound ungrateful because I really appreciate the gesture but I really don't want to share a room with my mum. I feel really uncomfortable with it & really want my privacy.
I don't know how to discuss it with my mum, I'm worried she'll take it the wrong way.
Help

OP posts:
Harridance · 16/07/2022 16:24

Could you put it all on the toddler?

Tibtab · 16/07/2022 16:25

Are you asking your Mum to pay for 2 rooms or are you offering to pay for the second? Maybe she can’t afford 2.

Original poster
Groovychick10 · 16/07/2022 16:26

@Harridance maybe lol 😂 This is the first time we'll both be away from home & he's autistic.

OP posts:
Overthebow · 16/07/2022 16:27

Is she paying? If so then I don’t think you can ask for another room. You could offer to pay for though if you want one.

Original poster
Groovychick10 · 16/07/2022 16:29

@Overthebow yes she's paying.

OP posts:
KangarooKenny · 16/07/2022 16:29

She probably wants your company while in the room too, rather than sitting on her own.
If you want your own room you need to pay for it.

NighghtmareNeighbour · 16/07/2022 16:30

Are you going to pay the extra for a second room? I wouldn’t be expecting my mum to have to pay more after she’s already offered to take you away for a weekend.

Personally I’d say great, let’s share, and then lounge back and watch my mum spoil toddler all weekend while having a break🤷‍♀️ I guess it depends on your relationship with your mum though. We’ve shared a hotel room a few times when we’ve been off for a fun weekend. We get on really well. I know not everyone has that close a relationship though. Hope you can sort it out without upsetting her.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 16/07/2022 16:30

I would frame it as in it would be much more relaxing for your DM if you and DS had a seperate room, as he interrupts your sleep constantly recently! Or similar. Frame it as a benefit to her, maybe offere to chip in?

alphapie · 16/07/2022 16:31

If she is paying it would be very unreasonable to ask for another room, or even mention anything.

You can offer to pay for an additional room though.

Original poster
Groovychick10 · 16/07/2022 16:32

@KangarooKenny I can't afford it. We haven't anything booked but might be best to cancel the idea.

OP posts:
luxxlisbon · 16/07/2022 16:32

I don’t think it’s that unreasonable for her to assume if you are close enough to go on a trip together that it would be fine for you to share a room together.
If you stayed in different rooms you would probably barely see each other.

If you don’t want to turn obviously let her know, but please don’t pressure her into paying double what she thought.

Musti · 16/07/2022 16:32

If you don’t want to share a room then get your cash out and pay. Otherwise it’s no big deal to share with your mum. I’m sharing with my daughter next week as we are staying at a friend’s. Last time she was in my bed was probably about 10 years ago. It is only a few days so no big deal.

FeliciaFancybottom · 16/07/2022 16:33

You can't expect her to pay for another room. Presumably you mean a two night stay, you can manage that surely?

MichelleScarn · 16/07/2022 16:35

So.you want your mum to pay for the break you want, not the one she's offered? As pp you want your own room, you pay!

Original poster
Groovychick10 · 16/07/2022 16:36

I'm not expecting her to pay for an extra room. But when she suggested it,I didn't expect to be sharing a room. We're reasonably close but I don't want to share a room with her, if that makes sense. I haven't got the funds to pay for a room for just me &my toddler. I think I may just abandon the idea.

OP posts:
Sunnytwobridges · 16/07/2022 16:36

MichelleScarn · 16/07/2022 16:35

So.you want your mum to pay for the break you want, not the one she's offered? As pp you want your own room, you pay!

This.

BritWifeInUSA · 16/07/2022 16:38

I thought I'd be me & my toddler in one room & my mum in another room.

You thought wrongly, then. Three choices: accept it as it is, pay the difference for an additional room, don’t go.

Beggars can’t be choosers.

Laney212 · 16/07/2022 16:38

Before my mum passed away, I would have probably felt the same as you. Now I would give anything to go away with her.

Future you might thank you for just getting on with it and sharing the room!

MajorCarolDanvers · 16/07/2022 16:39

You need to offer to pay for the second room. You can't expect her to pay for both.

BritWifeInUSA · 16/07/2022 16:40

Groovychick10 · 16/07/2022 16:36

I'm not expecting her to pay for an extra room. But when she suggested it,I didn't expect to be sharing a room. We're reasonably close but I don't want to share a room with her, if that makes sense. I haven't got the funds to pay for a room for just me &my toddler. I think I may just abandon the idea.

So you’re not expecting her to pay for a second room, you can’t afford to pay for the second room but you want the second room. Who did you think was going to pay for it? The fairy godmother?

Babdoc · 16/07/2022 16:40

I have shared a twin cabin on a cruise ship with my adult (29 at the time) DD, which was considerably more cramped than any hotel room is likely to be! And for ten days, not two.
You will only be in there to sleep, OP, and can get dressed in the en suite bathroom, so privacy isn’t that much of an issue. Why not just suck it up and have a lovely short break away with your mum?

caringcarer · 16/07/2022 16:41

Your Mum has been kind enough to offer your and her dgc a free break. She probably wants the chance to spoil her dgc and bond with you during be evening. Have you told her dgc Wakes in night because if you have she be will be expecting it. It sounds like you are being ungrateful. You say you can't afford to pay for a second room, why should your Mum? I bet she would be very upset if you told her you don't want to share a room with her. She is your Mum and she obviously loves you and dgc. I see many threads complaining GPS don't include child because it has autism. Your Mum is showing you and dgc her love and acceptance of dgc.

Original poster
Groovychick10 · 16/07/2022 16:41

@MichelleScarn That's not the case at all. I'm not expecting her to pay for a extra room. I really appreciate her offering to take us away but don't feel comfortable sharing a room with her. I can't afford the extra room, I'm not trying to be unappreciative but sharing a room is not something I'm comfortable with

OP posts:
mummalog · 16/07/2022 16:42

Bit extreme to abandon the entire holiday over it, most people would be fine sharing it's only for a week. I hope she's not upset that you no longer wish to go, that'd make me feel pretty crap. Bless her. Can you not try and find out the cost of an extra room? Might not be as much as you think...

PeekAtYou · 16/07/2022 16:42

It's not unreasonable for your mum to assume that you'd all share a room as it would be much cheaper but it's also not unreasonable for you to prefer 2 rooms. Would an Air B&B with 2 sleeping areas be cheaper than the hotel that she's thinking of?

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