To admit I have a problem (please help)

[Mangolatte]

Any advice would be really appreciated!! I’ve given myself a bad habit so posting in case anyone knows of any advice to stop it and get back to normal.

I recently ended up in hospital with a bad ibs flare up. Tried fodmap and all the elimination stuff already. I stopped eating completely (7+ days with no food) because I was desperate to stop the cramps and diarrhoea and I realised by fasting I could control and even stop the IBS. All the staff in hospital were really nice to me but they were saying I needed to eat but I really didn’t want to and i promised them I would start eating normally again when I was discharged and in the safety of my own home.

Once I was discharged, I started eating again. But then I started having ibs symptoms again and I remembered when fasting stopped it, so I did it again. Then when the IBS stopped I started eating again. Ive been doing this eating-fasting back and forth thing ever since then. Sometimes I eat normally and I’m fine, then other days I don’t eat or I only eat 500 calories.

At first I started the fasting thing just to stop the IBS symptoms, but then I realised I had lost weight with it and it felt so good. Not only was I not having cramps and diarrhoea but I also lost weight which obviously I was happy about. The weird thing is I was fine with my weight before it all started and it wasn’t actually what made me fast in the first place, but once I saw I had lost weight I felt like it was an ever bigger boost. My BMI was about 20 before and now it’s probably 18.5-19 so I know I’m not fat, but I felt happier being skinnier.

Just to be clear, I don’t fast or calorie count everyday. I do eat normally sometimes and I’m fine healthwise. But I’m definitely doing it more and more now, and if I’m being totally honest it’s sometimes on days where I feel fat rather than just to control the IBS symptoms. Even on days where I don’t calorie restrict, I’m always counting the calories and I’m always checking the numbers now. I don’t have an eating disorder but I feel like I’ve given myself a bad relationship with food, which is what I was warned about happening in the hospital and I was so sure wouldn’t happen. I thought I had it all sorted and I had finally fixed my IBS by doing this fast/calorie restrict thing, but all I’ve done is get myself addicted to losing weight in the process.

When I was in hospital I fasted for too long and ended up having to drink glucose because I wasn’t well, so I wouldn’t fast that long again as I know it’s unhealthy, but I want to stop the habit altogether.

I don’t want to waste my GPs or parents/friends time with this because it’s not serious and I’m 23 so I’m old enough to sort it myself, but I want to kick this bad habit before I lose more weight or get more addicted and start doing it more often. Does anyone have any advice on how I can get back to normal again?

Thanks💓

If you only fasted twice a week, it would be healthy. But no more than 3 days a week. I used to do 3 days a week, which made me feel great. But fell off the band wagon so started fasting Mon to Friday, but didn't retrict my calories. I eat one meal in the evenings, but it's anything at all. So I'm not restricted to 500 calories anymore. I eat 3 meals a day at the weekend.

I was one of the posters who replied to Quincythequice. Did you read the first post ? Because that was the one most people had a problem with - rude, dismissive and not offering any help to someone clearly struggling and in need of support. There was no attempt to signpost her to appropriate sources or provide appropriate links. The subsequent posts obviously took on board the criticism levelled by other posters as the tone changed completely. I also objected to the wholesale dismissal of MN as useless hand wringers, when I have taken part in and contributed to helping posters in other areas and know how helpful the site can be in providing support.

So I ask again, if MN is so hand wringingly useless, why are you here ?

Thanks for all the help, I’ve read all the replies and I really appreciate it💗

it’s definitely just IBS, there’s nothing wrong with me and I’ve had all the tests and everything.

Anytime I’ve had to go to the gp for anything they’ve always been really nice and helpful so I wasn’t worried about going for this but I just didn’t want to be a timewaster or be dramatic because I’m not really underweight or anything. plus I didn’t want to seem crazy because I know I’m not really fat, it’s just a feeling I’ve got.

yeah I probably should have told them I felt unwell in hospital but I was so determined not to eat and I just tried to ignore feeling unwell, I didn’t want to seem difficult or cause the staff extra work so I just kept telling myself that the bubble feeling would pass. Once I’d drank the glucose I felt fine again so it wasn’t that bad to be fair I was just being a bit dramatic!

even on days where I eat normally, I feel so shit and angry at myself for it. I had a banana and smoked salmon on oatcakes for lunch today and I know it’s a healthy lunch, but I feel like I’m doing something wrong by eating it because there’s so many calories. I’ve still been going out for food with my friends and being normal but then I feel horrible for days because the ibs comes back and because I feel fat on top of that. But when I look in the mirror I know I’m not fat, it’s just it felt so good to lose weight and I guess it got a bit addicting and I kept saying I’d stop the fasting and calorie counting but it’s definitely easier said than done! x

Typical MN- hypocrites attacking a poster with even more aggression and nastiness than they claim to have seen.

Can you afford to pay privately for help with finding a diet that eases your symptoms? I used the gut health clinic to help with a diet that reduced my PCOS symptoms. They have an IBS package too.

https://theguthealthclinic.com/?utmsource=google-ads&utmmcampaign&utmagid=137567163294&utmmterm=megan%20rossi&creative=610459618742&device=m&placement&gclid=CjwKCAjww8mWBhABEiwAl6-2RT8yyFPnYu0jxfj4LXWqle6PTrO8jqt6sLufvAXKrDB1w5ymwz6QLxoCKlsQAvD_BwE

@Quincythequince

I didn't 'stalk' you. I based what I wrote on a previous thread where you kept asserting you were correct in relation to your role in lab-based scientific research. I just remembered it.

If you read my post, I didn't in any way doubt your credentials or qualifications, just that you didn't currently work as a medical doctor, based on other information you provided

The rest of your post is frankly bizarre as well as insulting to many MN posters

Why is everyone attacking @Quincythequince?

It's totally appropriate for her to suggest that OP get medical advice from her own doctor and not an Internet forum. Following advice from strangers on the internet when it comes to someone's health is hugely risky.

Nobody knows OP's medical history or her specific issues and therefore nobody should be giving her medical advice, doctors or not.

This is very similar to my experience of IBS:

If I am highly stressed then whatever I eat can cause my IBS to flare, if I'm not stressed then it's just particular foods.

I would really recommend going to see your GP, because it sounds like you're heading towards an eating disorder to me.

I'd also consider buying the Complete Low FODMAP diet by Shepherd and Gibson. You can run that diet in two ways: the first being actually properly following it, and the second by keeping a food diary and then seeing which factors correlate with flare ups. I did the latter in my head and concluded I have a serious issue with beans/legumes: butter beans, soy beans, broad beans, lentils, chickpeas. If I avoid those I can be broadly fine.

Thirdly it's worth considering what options you have re medication. I mainly manage to control mine now without medication but during difficult phases medication is invaluable. I use a combination of mebeverine, omeprazole, topping up with Gaviscon if required, and simethicone for bad wind if necessary. As I say, I don't normally need them but having them on hand reduces one's worries about feeling unwell which in turn means you feel better.

There was no attempt to signpost her to appropriate sources or provide appropriate links

No! Because nobody should be giving medical advice over the internet to anyone. I maintain that and I would be in a good position to do so, but it’s not appropriate.

Would be rather stupid of me to say you shouldn’t take advice from here, then post advice wouldn’t it.

Hence the ‘see a GP or get appropriate advice’ (in case where OP is, it’s not a GP at the front line).

My tone to the OP was consistent throughout and I didn’t change it because of anybody’s comment's. There is no unkindness in it at all, and factual advice is just that.

Mumsnet is chewing gum for the brain at the best of times, so for me, hand-wringing is neither here nor there. A lot of it on this thread though.

But when you are somebody who has to unpick people’s self-diagnosis or understand any treatments they may have taken because they googled it or read it online (most of it being completely contraindicated once you know more about a medical history), it’s always important to be clear to people that asking on the internet is very rarely a reasonable course of action.

Someone on here is even telling the OP to take a specific medication for her issues FFS.

Just no!

I just didn’t want to be a timewaster or be dramatic

I really wouldn't worry about this.

You're not at all. You have a few conflated issues - the good feeling that 'not eating' allowed you to manage your IBS, then the addictive feeling of losing some weight & feeling thinner.

The visit to the GP should allow you to get a structured plan regarding your IBS, and also to say out loud to someone IRL that you are experiencing disordered eating.

Apart from anything else, that feeling of guilt & shame after a meal out is really sapping your enjoyment in life & time with friends.

I struggle with some elements of disordered eating so can empathise.

Absolutely this!
Why is this so hard to understand 🤦🏼‍♀️

OP needs to see a doctor who can do a proper differential and take into account her medical history.

Mumsnet is chewing gum for the brain at the best of times, so for me, hand-wringing is neither here nor there.

Not quite sure what this is even meant to mean but as Ross asked, why are you here if you despise it so much?

I am not sure why you can't also see the helpful advice posted by others here, some of which accords with yours? The tone & dismissiveness of your posts, not your advice, is what was commented on.

OP needs to see a doctor who can do a proper differential and take into account her medical history.

Which has been the advice of several posters as well.

However, your first post to an OP posting at midnight was:

Why have you posted here?
This is not an AIBU.

Please seek proper professional support elsewhere

No clear information or suggestion of what professional support to seek, just blunt and unkind.

OP - that sounds like it could become dangerous, if it's not already. For some people food restriction and weight loss can become addictive. I would speak to your GP and request professional help. You're not bothering therm. It's what they're there for.

*No! Because nobody should be giving medical advice over the internet to anyone. I maintain that and I would be in a good position to do so, but it’s not appropriate.

Would be rather stupid of me to say you shouldn’t take advice from here, then post advice wouldn’t it.

Hence the ‘see a GP or get appropriate advice’ (in case where OP is, it’s not a GP at the front line)*

posting again for your benefit earrings
What part of this are you struggling with? Especially given the OP has already sought medical treatment.

Suggesting an MD might be something other than it is and talking about jurisdictions

Not what I said. Why are you being so rude?

Here you go in relation to what I did say being accurate:

g.co/kgs/uVWTKC

You do this very frequently on threads - argue for the sake of it & insult posters. There's no need.

I don’t despise it.
I have never said that.
You are prone to exaggeration and the odd straw-man aren’t you?

But you didn't initially say anything about medical advice or going to her GP?

You just dismissed the OP.

Then you did actually recommend a GP visit, as did others - so you are utterly contradicting yourself.

That's why I bolded the words 'first post' to make it clear it was your dismissive tone that was the issue.

If You openly cast unfounded aspersions into my skill set and professional quals, I am well within my rights to respond.

She had already sought professional support, in case you missed that very obvious bit in her first post.

You can’t recommend a GP visit to someone outside of the UK necessarily, that’s not how it works.

I am not remotely contradicting myself.

You are prone to exaggeration and the odd straw-man aren’t you?

Not in the least.

My replies you have been factual and polite. Yours on the other hand ...

You have insulted and demeaned MN in general and some posters in particular so to deduce that you despise it, is hardly a reach.

As before on other threads, I will leave it here as clearly your only purpose is to get a reaction & it's pointless. And I'm finding your insults draining tbh

Anyway, stop hijacking OPs thread. It’s a bit sad tbh.

And for absolute clarity, I am simply responding to comments made directly about me, to me. If people want me to stop posting, stop talking crap directed my way. I will address it.