To admit I have a problem (please help)

[Mangolatte]

Any advice would be really appreciated!! I’ve given myself a bad habit so posting in case anyone knows of any advice to stop it and get back to normal.

I recently ended up in hospital with a bad ibs flare up. Tried fodmap and all the elimination stuff already. I stopped eating completely (7+ days with no food) because I was desperate to stop the cramps and diarrhoea and I realised by fasting I could control and even stop the IBS. All the staff in hospital were really nice to me but they were saying I needed to eat but I really didn’t want to and i promised them I would start eating normally again when I was discharged and in the safety of my own home.

Once I was discharged, I started eating again. But then I started having ibs symptoms again and I remembered when fasting stopped it, so I did it again. Then when the IBS stopped I started eating again. Ive been doing this eating-fasting back and forth thing ever since then. Sometimes I eat normally and I’m fine, then other days I don’t eat or I only eat 500 calories.

At first I started the fasting thing just to stop the IBS symptoms, but then I realised I had lost weight with it and it felt so good. Not only was I not having cramps and diarrhoea but I also lost weight which obviously I was happy about. The weird thing is I was fine with my weight before it all started and it wasn’t actually what made me fast in the first place, but once I saw I had lost weight I felt like it was an ever bigger boost. My BMI was about 20 before and now it’s probably 18.5-19 so I know I’m not fat, but I felt happier being skinnier.

Just to be clear, I don’t fast or calorie count everyday. I do eat normally sometimes and I’m fine healthwise. But I’m definitely doing it more and more now, and if I’m being totally honest it’s sometimes on days where I feel fat rather than just to control the IBS symptoms. Even on days where I don’t calorie restrict, I’m always counting the calories and I’m always checking the numbers now. I don’t have an eating disorder but I feel like I’ve given myself a bad relationship with food, which is what I was warned about happening in the hospital and I was so sure wouldn’t happen. I thought I had it all sorted and I had finally fixed my IBS by doing this fast/calorie restrict thing, but all I’ve done is get myself addicted to losing weight in the process.

When I was in hospital I fasted for too long and ended up having to drink glucose because I wasn’t well, so I wouldn’t fast that long again as I know it’s unhealthy, but I want to stop the habit altogether.

I don’t want to waste my GPs or parents/friends time with this because it’s not serious and I’m 23 so I’m old enough to sort it myself, but I want to kick this bad habit before I lose more weight or get more addicted and start doing it more often. Does anyone have any advice on how I can get back to normal again?

Thanks💓

What’s with all the offensive comments directed at @Quincythequince ? As I read through the thread, I have no problem with the tone of his/her posts, but the people attacking them are being incredibly aggressive and offensive. Also, the OP appears to have had no problem with them.

Please don’t think you are wasting the doctors time. You’re not. You are not well and need help to get your balance back. I have ibs and it is difficult. I found getting help and learning to manage my tendency to worry and be anxious made a difference. Take care of yourself 💐

You're a doctor? Fookin' 'ell.

Is it definitely iBS? As I understand it, IBS should only be diagnosed when coeliac and allergies have both been ruled out?

As others have said, you definitely won't be wasting your GPs or your family and friends time. Please book an appointment, our GP practice lets us book appointments through an app. You might find it useful to do that so that you know when you're going and can write down what you want to say.

Hi op, I know you said you don’t have an eating disorder. I would have also said when I was 18 (I’m mid forties now), but I did, I was on the slippery slope to anorexia and I didn’t realise until it totally got a hold over me.

I had lost perspective completely on how to eat normally, felt very unsafe when I ‘overate’, which was really eating normally, and only felt happy and in control when I was controlling my intake and/or losing weight. It happens insidiously, it didn’t happen overnight or intentionally at all. Suddenly it became a problem that was incredibly difficult to overcome.

The fact that now you feel fat when when underweight (BMI under 19) and you obsessively calorie count. That’s a fast track to anorexia. I had it for 7 years. I was very very ill indeed and almost died a couple of times. Thankfully I completely recovered, which was nothing short of a miracle, but I objectively lost those years which is my biggest life regret.

Please get help for this now rather than later, you clearly have disordered eating and before you know it, your life will be revolving around food and control of food. It’s no way to live, and there is another life without disordered eating. I’m very lucky to be here - eating disorders are deadly. Wishing you well x

Quincythequince, maybe you should improve your spelling. You do know how to spell the word know?

I say this kindly, OP, not as a criticism or an accusation - it sounds like you have an eating disorder or, at best, are in the early stages of one. Eating disorders creep up on you and wrap themselves around you before you realise. They also affect the way you think. It’s a horrible place to be, although initially attractive. Please get out while you can. Ignore the little voice that tells you it’s ok and that you’re in control. That voice is a deceptive siren call.

You really need to see your GP about your stomach problems. Make sure they’ve ruled out causes other than IBS. My DD had meds which helped her stomach. Her problems were due to anxiety and stress. I’m sure there’s help if you ask for it and don’t let yourself be fobbed off.

OP didn't ask where she should hide a body, Jezz some pp's would fight in an empty room.

OP eating disorders start by controlling your food intake no matter what the intention.

IBS is a very hard illness to live with, you have my sympathy.
I haven't rtft.

My Dsis has an autoimmune disorder which effects her bowels too, she eats a specialist diet more so vegan based than anything else.

It may not work for you.

Your body is already distressed without causing an eating disorder on top.

@Mangolatte you do need quite urgent medical advice from your GP. The only advice on this thread that you should follow is: see your GP asap and be perfectly honest about this.

OP, I totally understand where you're coming from as a fellow IBS sufferer, but I also am a recovered anorexic so I can see the danger of your actions in taking you down a slippery slope to an eating disorder.

What's great is that you recognise what you're doing isn't healthy and you've admitted that to yourself and to others. Well done. That's the first step to getting things sorted.

If you're anything like me, then the IBS will be triggered by anxiety and stress rather than food. Not eating stops IBS because there's nothing in your stomach. But it will come back as soon as you start eating again if the underlying cause isn't addressed. So fasting isn't something that's ever going to be a strategy that will help in the longterm.

Do you understand what IBS is and what it does to your body? IBS/D is caused by everything moving through your colon too quickly and this is usually triggered by emotional stress. While certain foods can also trigger IBS, I have found that for me, it doesn't really matter what I eat - if I'm stressed and anxious, the 'safest' foods will still go straight through me.

IBS is also linked to the bacteria that are in your gut and for a lot of people with IBS, overgrowth of bacteria or other issues with gut bacteria can be a contributing factor. Taking probiotics is proven to help with this.

Considering both the psychological and physical elements of IBS, I adopt a three pronged approach to tackling it. I take a daily probiotic (you will have to try a few to get the right one for you, in my experience), I stick to a routine with my eating and sleeping (meals at the same time every day, eaten slowly, and a regular bed time giving me 8 hours sleep, as lack of sleep really affects my IBS) and I actively work on my thoughts using CBT style thinking and relaxation techniques during the day. Understanding that my thoughts contribute to my feelings which contribute to my IBS, and that with practice, patience and perseverance I can change and control my thoughts, has been a huge help for me.

I still will have a flare up every couple of weeks or so but it's usually short lived and perfectly manageable. All my friends and family know I have IBS so if I need to pull out of something last minute due to a flare up, it's not an issue.

My biggest recommendation for you is to get psychological support now to help you deal with the perfectionism, the desire for control, and the stress and anxiety you're feeling. All of this is linked to your digestive system but it's also going to be affecting your life in every other area. Go and see your GP, this week please. I'm shocked you were in hospital and they just let you go without signposting you to services to help you.

If you have the money see a well qualified therapist. CBT will get you faster results but a psychodynamic therapist will help you work out which aspects of your past and personality have led you to your current behaviour. If you’re very lucky a GP might be able to signpost some group therapies or charities but, I’m sorry to say, it’s unlikely.

Otherwise, the classic do it yourself advice is to notice when you have been restricting and write down what else was happening in your life at the time (where you were, time of day, people around you, how your day was etc). Keep this journal, learn your triggers and then when one has happened do a safe activity instead. For example, you notice that after you’ve seen your family you restrict your eating. Before seeing your family you make dinner in advance. After seeing your family, you do your wellness activity to decompress and eat the prepared dinner.

Good luck

Have you been tested for potential markers for coeliac disease or IBD?

Do any of your local NHS hospitals have any gastro consultants with a special interest in IBS?

Have you tried Buscopan?

www.nhs.uk/medicines/buscopan-hyoscine-butylbromide/

As a ex aneroxic it starts out easily, once something is hugely out of control in your life (IBS in your case) you start to take action when you realise you can control your eating habits, it is a double dose for you as controlling your eating relieves the stomach pains.

Your poor thing, give yourself an internal hug.

You need to make a conscious decision to eat foods that won't flare your IBS.

Go back to the GP the IBS is causing serious psychological problems, insist that they do everything to investigate the problem.

Its very easy for an eating disorder to get hold and get out of control. Not eating at all will have long term effects though.
Can you tolerate drinks like huel, as a way to get your nutients

OP get help for your eating disorder.

You are in denial and on a very slippery slope to flush all the good years ahead of you down the drain, wasting them on your addiction.

I had an eating disorder for 10 years in my teens early 20s and this has taken up all my mental, emotional, physical energy at the time >>> preventing me from finding love for a long time AND distracting me from building a good career and I’m still feeling the effects of that 2 decades later unfortunately.

Don’t piss away your life.

another poster also said it earlier:

“Thankfully I completely recovered, which was nothing short of a miracle, but I objectively lost those years which is my biggest life regret.”

and I feel that you’re glamorising the feeling of the bubble, the weight loss, so please look into that and see it as what it is. A mental illness that needs immediate help.

please do it for yourself

I think this is terrible advice. I don’t understand why you seem to think this is some sort of MH problem when the OP has been more than clear the the fasting started in response to the improvement in her IBS and it’s gone from there. Why signpost someone to a CBT therapist when the cause is so obviously physical and requires a physicians’ input ?

I totally agree with PPs that you need help, but I also wanted to say that you might have to push to receive it.

I know everyone advising you to go to the GP mean well, but in my experience GPs have little to no training in EDs, and unless you are severely underweight they tend to be very dismissive of this stuff. That's from personal experience (went to the GP when I was underweight and restricting food and was told that since I was aware I was doing it, it couldn't be an eating disorder and was nothing to worry about) and from working in a role where many of my service users have EDs and/or gut issues.

It doesn't surprise me at all that the rudest and most unhelpful person on this thread is a doctor. I don't know if it's the lack of funding for years, the stress of the job, or the sort of person attracted to medicine, but they are often (not always!) pretty blunt and lacking in empathy in my experience.

So, while I do agree the GP is your first step, you might want to steel yourself for them being pretty dismissive and be ready to fight your corner.

@Quincythequince I found your posts to be perfectly reasonable. I know doctors get a bashing on here so wanted to try and balance this thread. You engaged in a factual way with OP, you just missed the hand wringing, frothy empathy that is so prevalent on social media / MN.

@OP please listen to Quincy and seek medical help.

@Quincythequince

I also agree with Quincy sound advice.

Op next time medical professionals ask you how you feel please be honest with them. Rather than avoiding making a fuss you really are wasting their time if you say you feel fine when you don't. How can they treat and help you ?

You sound like you have an eating disorder and also anxiety It must be really hard having IBS and you have my sympathy and I'm sure the doctors too..

Get professional help from an eating disorder clinic and perhaps an IBS expert who can help you plan the fasting

I am indeed a licensed, practitioner. GMC registered an everything.

I have an MD (did my medical degree abroad - not American) and my PhD (gut physiology and nutritional endocrinology) here in the UK.

Most of my work is clinical research, but I do see patients too. My speciality is in the gut!

And how weird (and quite frankly stalkerish) that you would presume to even know that much about me and still get it wrong.

Not working full-time as a practitioner isn’t the same as never seeing patients, but you wouldn’t know that of course.

Talk about detailing the thread her by so many posters, certainly not be me.

Factual advice and proper signposting is what’s required here. Hand-wringing and faux outrage on behalf of OP (who engaged perfectly happily) is really not helpful to her.

Haven’t RTFT but can imagine some of the comments.

Someone posting their own issues and blaming a physician for being bad, someone who knows a doctor, someone who doesn’t get factual, straightforward advice/questioning with loot the hand-wringing, a nurse maybe.

How many did I get right? It’s always the same.

*without the hand-wringing

Anyway, I’m off to do better things, but OP, again, please make a GP appointment and be honest about what’s been happening.

They are there to help, it’s their job.

There is no reason to think they’d be dismissive at all, you need proper medical support.

Good luck with it all, and hopefully you see/feel some improvements soon.