Should she pay for this night out even though she had Covid?

[Cyclebabble]

Hi just wanted to check my approach before I proceed any further. Four of us were due to see a show three weeks ago. I organised the trip including tickets and a hotel. The bookings were made a number of months ago. Foolishly perhaps I did not ask for immediate payment. My credit card turns over a lot for work and I covered the costs. Two days out one friend sent me WhatsApp message saying that Covid was going round their family and there was a risk they would get it.

On the day of travelling they confirmed they would not be able to go. At this notice, the show/room could not be cancelled. Everyone else settled up. The Covid sufferer did not and a week later I sent a WhatsApp with my account details and asked them to forward on the money.

Since then I have followed up with an email and there has been radio silence. This is not someone I am unduly close to, but is part of my friendship group.

So I think I am right to chase this money. However, before I chase harder AIBU?

Have you asked her how she is? Or just chased her for money. You are right she should pay, ideally you would have asked for the money when you booked as you said. It's possible she is very unwell at the moment though?

I would pay, if I were your acquaintance.

Of course she should pay. Its unfortunate she got Covid, but as with any illness that would have prevented her from going to the event, she still pays.

Maybe she's still poorly?

Of course she should pay. The alternative is that you pay, which is clearly unfair.

One of you has to pay and I don't see why it should be you.

She should pay.

Do you think she may have decided she didn't fancy it for the price and so used covid as a cover story to save on the cost of the night out?

Yes I did ask how she is and I know she was out and about on the Sunday evening (we were at the show on a Saturday), which seems odd. I know that these days there is no advice to isolate, but still.

She should pay
This is the risk we all take when booking anything these days
I know it can't be helped but why should anyone else cover the cost?

The guidance is to isolate actually.

Certainly this is something I have considered.

I would say she should pay. Out of interest if she had said she still wanted to go would you all have been comfortable with it?

Well, there was no reason why she couldn't have attended! But regardless of that, we all have to pay for stuff that sometimes we are forced to miss - that's life.

Oh no. There's always someone like this so annoying. If you think that's the case I'd ask her nicely on the group chat- less easy for her to hide...

In that case send her increasingly shitty emails and copy a your friends in so they can see what a cow she is expecting you to be out of pocket for her choices. She's a selfish snake.

Well yes. Someone has to pay it and it certainly shouldn't be you.

How much is it? Unfortunately I think it's going to be the price of the friendship.

Either she values the friendship and stumps up, or she doesn't and she loses the friendship over it.

She should pay.

Personally, if I was her, I would pay.

I've always been wary of getting stuck in this situation. We now transfer the money as soon as the booking is confirmed. Anyone who doesn't want to do that is encouraged to book their own tickets.

Too late this time, I mention it to clarify that the person absolutely should pay up.

She should pay.

She had two days to sort out someone else to take her place and didn't.

As PP put the request for payment on the group chat so everyone else knows how she behaves.

She needs to pay. If she didn't want to go she could have said so a long time ago.

Just send a text saying. My IBAN no is. Xxxx
Really sorry you couldn't make it. We missed you. And even worse for you not having enough time to resell your ticket.or room share Really bad luck hope you're feeling better. Much love. Bring on the next event when you will be feeling better

I think when you organize things like this, you need to be really clear about cost, payment and cancellation. I know it’s among friends but I find being crystal clear about money at the start means fewer problems.

I do think you’re right to chase the money but it sounds like she isn’t keen to pay.

Of course she should pay. However she may be feeling really debilitated post Covid and hasn't had the energy to sort things out yet. I would send another message and gently ask when you can expect her payment. You shouldn't have to foot the bill because she was unable to attend.

Is everyone missing where Op says CF was out the next day? Sounds like she decided not to bother (sowing the idea of “I might have covid” in advance too) The friendship isn’t really there in the first place but she still needs to cough up. No pun intended.