Should she pay for this night out even though she had Covid?

[Cyclebabble]

Hi just wanted to check my approach before I proceed any further. Four of us were due to see a show three weeks ago. I organised the trip including tickets and a hotel. The bookings were made a number of months ago. Foolishly perhaps I did not ask for immediate payment. My credit card turns over a lot for work and I covered the costs. Two days out one friend sent me WhatsApp message saying that Covid was going round their family and there was a risk they would get it.

On the day of travelling they confirmed they would not be able to go. At this notice, the show/room could not be cancelled. Everyone else settled up. The Covid sufferer did not and a week later I sent a WhatsApp with my account details and asked them to forward on the money.

Since then I have followed up with an email and there has been radio silence. This is not someone I am unduly close to, but is part of my friendship group.

So I think I am right to chase this money. However, before I chase harder AIBU?

If you get no joy from her, send a group message to everyone including her and say 'CF has ignored my several reminders to pay for her ticket. Whilst it is unfortunate she could not attend, I am obviously not responsible for covering the entire cost as the inability to attend was nothing to do with me. I would very much appreciate it if everyone could pay (divide up CF portion) to me so we share the burden of CFs refusal to pay'.
People might not pay but at least you get to shame CF

Thanks for all the comments. No her income remained stable through Covid so I do not think it is an ability to pay. I will give it a couple more days and one more personal wattsapp and then I will go for the group chat option. I agree with those of you who say I should have got cash upfront, that is certainly a lesson learned. I will let you all know how it goes.

Thanks again.

@deedledeedledum

That is a brilliant suggestion

If you have PayPal, send her an official request for the money. That worked for me when I was owed money.

Why should you pay twice??? That’s what she’s forcing you to do. Had you asked for the money pre trip you wouldn’t be giving it her back would you!? Tell her to cough (!) up and that you’re not paying for her illness.

Sounds like an excuse maybe she had an energy bill to pay instead

I learned recently, get money right away. I organised something for a group of us. It was an activity requiring a minimum number of participants ie it cost that amount even if less took part. They were happy to take payment on the night so I didn’t ask for money up front. Organised 1 month before (so not ages). dates worked around all but one person was most difficult with shift work.

Anyway, days before (shift worker) dropped out as they had agreed to work overtime and refused to pay. Said it was clear money was tight and that’s why they were working overtime. I found it hard to believe that they didn’t realise a month before that money was tight when they agreed to go and the price involved.

the rest of us had to stump up more for their share.

Personally I'd have expected to pay straight away anyway! Hope you get the money, OP.

It's not unreasonable to request payment, but do ask how she is as she may still be quite unwell.
She may have also (incorrectly?) assumed you'd taken out insurance on the room and ticket, so you could claim it back should any party be unable to go due to unforseen illness/injury.
Be gentle when you ask, and I hope she is understanding and will reimburse you. Xx

It’s always horrible to have to pay for something you weren’t able to attend in the end, however it’s not your fault she got ill and you certainly shouldn’t have to pay the bill! I tested positive for covid the night before a hen do, I lost £300 which was painful but I would never expect someone else to have to cover the cost.

Perhaps ask her to organise the next trip. Then don’t pay! Think she may not agree to this tho’
A lesson learned at a cost.

If she could afford to go to begin with (which, presumably, she was), she can afford to pay for the ticket now. Whether or not she could go, the ticket was hers.
Unfortunately, it looks like she might not take responsibility. Make sure everybody in the group knows if that happens. NO ONE in that group should count her as a friend if you are stuck with the bill, and they might all be decent enough to chip in a little, too, to cover the loss.
A nice note first, like the one from maddy68, might solve the problem, though.

Purse she should pay

her Ticket

in future always gets payment before booking

Ffs *course

This is why I always pay the person organising at the point of booking and demand the same when booking for friends.

I hate chasing money and would be mortified if someone was chasing me!

Yanbu op

Fingers crossed op

Do this!

Yes she owes you

Let her know you didnt get a reply so your unsure if she is getting your messages, so you’ll pop round to her house to collect.

Ditto @deedledeedledum

even more so the fact she sent out Sunday

Did she not have covid then

I wouldn't wait, she knows she hasn't paid and that you want the money. I agree with others, and I would be specific. So in the group chat I'd put "great night out everyone, sorry you couldn't make it x. Thank you, y and z, for paying (this exact amount). As it stands I've paid (this exact amount) as I've not had your payment yet x. I know no one expects to be poorly, but i wouldn't have gone if this was going to be the cost to me, as it stands I've paid double, so I do hope you'll be able to cover your costs as planned. Here's my bank details..."..

It's so annoying.

I like the idea of asking the group to split the cost between them.

I'd feel awful if a friend was shafted like that and certainly would want to contribute and cut off the non payer.

I've been in a vaguely similar position where I was owed money for a number of months- it wasn't a considerable sum, but enough that I wanted it back - and one of the things that stung the most was I'd incurred these extra costs by organising the taxis and facilitating things for our group.

Thankfully in my case I got the money back - friend is a bit disorganised and has a different attitude to debt than I do - so I wish you luck OP.

This is bad, don’t do personal what’s app, just do group now.

say sorry to have to chase on the ticket payment again, but do you think you can transfer me x? I really can’t afford to pay for them for you. Thanks,x

she needs to pay she can’t expect you to pay for her.

I voted u r being unreasonable based on your original post that you seemed to have just asked her once and not hearing anything whilst she’s ill. Of course she should pay you and based on later discussion asap. However if she hasn’t replied it would be good to know why. You say she is a group rather than special friend does someone else know her better and can give you a clue what’s going on?

Yes that’s weird. Re contract suggestion.