Should she pay for this night out even though she had Covid?

[Cyclebabble]

Hi just wanted to check my approach before I proceed any further. Four of us were due to see a show three weeks ago. I organised the trip including tickets and a hotel. The bookings were made a number of months ago. Foolishly perhaps I did not ask for immediate payment. My credit card turns over a lot for work and I covered the costs. Two days out one friend sent me WhatsApp message saying that Covid was going round their family and there was a risk they would get it.

On the day of travelling they confirmed they would not be able to go. At this notice, the show/room could not be cancelled. Everyone else settled up. The Covid sufferer did not and a week later I sent a WhatsApp with my account details and asked them to forward on the money.

Since then I have followed up with an email and there has been radio silence. This is not someone I am unduly close to, but is part of my friendship group.

So I think I am right to chase this money. However, before I chase harder AIBU?

@sue20 she sent a follow up email which has also been ignored.

How many times does she need to ask?

If they had booked this trip themselves they wouldn’t get their money back so they still need to pay.
It is sort of unfair as they didn’t ask for covid but you didn’t ask to be paying the 4th persons trip costs.
If she could find someone to fill her spot they could pay for the ticket & hotel but if not the cost is hers.

Current guidance is to stay home for 5days after the day you test positive but there is no legal requirement for people to do so. I’d call bullcrap on her covid positive without confirmation & demand the full payment ASAP!
She’s taking the piss & well out of order going out the day after the event she was unable to attend!!

Technically speaking she should pay , but theres something about your tone in your OP that makes me feel thefes more to this than meets the eye.

Did you tell her she couldnt come but she wanted to? I ask as advice isn't to isolate

Agree with (almost) everyone else, name and shame in group chat.

There is absolutely no way you should pay. If she resists then shame her in the public group and ask her how she’d feel if the tables were turned. She committed to a cost and should’ve paid it immediately up front anyway. Things change but there’s absolutely no way you should front the cost. She sounds like a bellend anyway. Anyone who doesn’t isolate with covid is missing their moral compass and has zero ethics. In the face of our moronic central government, people have to be able to self manage and should recognise what is unethical behaviour that could harm others. Having covid on the Saturday but going out Sunday means she either a) she’s really shitty person not isolating, or b) she lied to you. Either way. Make her pay and then cut her out of your life.

Advice is to isolate on the nhs website. Anyone with a moral compass wouldn’t go into a packed theatre and risk harming other people’s health. I genuinely can’t fathom where people get their moral code from 🤯. I wouldn’t allow someone to come and they should respect that and pay anyway, it’s an expected risk these days for any event. We just attended a wedding abroad (very expensive) it was clear in the q&a that anyone with covid/symptoms/illness was not to attend due to a cross-generational guest list. People would lose flights and hotels- but no one wanted to risk killing granny.

Why is OP expected to pay for her friend no longer being able to go though?

@XenoBitch the post you quoted literally says the person who can't attend should pay anyway

Any luck op?

Is she on mumsnet?
Perhaps she’s reading this.
If really annoying you perhaps a small claims court. Costly but perhaps you feel it’s worth the cost.

She should pay but many shows still have a covid cancellation policy to get refund or credit.

Thanks all tried calling tonight. Unsurprisingly perhaps I did not get a response. Just to say there is no back story here. We have all been out before without any problems. We all live quite close by and our kids were in the same schools. No one said do not come at any stage. We literally had a WhatsApp saying Covid was going round the family and then literally on the morning we were going, I am feeling unwell, better go without me. Sunday they were visiting other people we know and out walking with the kids. Could have been just a 24 hour thing but since then three messages, one email and a call have not got a response. I will try calling again and then visit. This is really awkward and frankly I could do without it. Lesson learned for next time.

Defo group chat message. She’s a cf, especially being out the day after.,

I am feeling unwell

dodnt she test then

or
maybe she did test and neg hence why our next day

Ok so early this morning the cash arrived in my account. No message just the cash. Glad that is all over with. Thanks for all our help and support.

Wow. Oh well, all’s well that ends well, but she’s changed your friendship, hasn’t she! I wouldn’t be booking anything without her money up front again.

I wonder if she’s a mumsnetter?

Glad it is sorted.

Extraordinary shabby behaviour to think her being unwell/not wanting to go means she simply needn't pay.

It would change my opinion of her completely.

Lesson learned.

"Send me the money if you are interested in going to X and I will then book the tickets" is definitely the way to go.

Some people clearly don't believe saying yes means they have committed, only when they actually pay.

Upfront cuts out all confusion/stress.

Is there a group chat? I would post in the chat, something like: hi guys, hope you all had a lovely time on Saturday. Sorry to ask but I’m down the cost of a ticket because of so and so having covid and I was wondering if everyone would mind chipping in a little so I don’t have to take on the financial burden myself.
i would imagine she would be very embarrassed and suddenly cough up the cash

@SophieeB she has suddenly coughed up the cash (earlier this morning!)

@Cyclebabble do you think she saw the thread???

She should pay, perhaps if she had told you for definite earlier perhaps someone else could have gone in her place

This

The fact that she paid up and said absolutely nothing speaks volumes. I don't suppose you will be organising any more social events for this 'friend'. Glad you got it back though.

Glad you got your money

in future always get payment before buy tickets