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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should she pay for this night out even though she had Covid?

176 replies

Cyclebabble · 15/07/2022 10:44

Hi just wanted to check my approach before I proceed any further. Four of us were due to see a show three weeks ago. I organised the trip including tickets and a hotel. The bookings were made a number of months ago. Foolishly perhaps I did not ask for immediate payment. My credit card turns over a lot for work and I covered the costs. Two days out one friend sent me WhatsApp message saying that Covid was going round their family and there was a risk they would get it.

On the day of travelling they confirmed they would not be able to go. At this notice, the show/room could not be cancelled. Everyone else settled up. The Covid sufferer did not and a week later I sent a WhatsApp with my account details and asked them to forward on the money.

Since then I have followed up with an email and there has been radio silence. This is not someone I am unduly close to, but is part of my friendship group.

So I think I am right to chase this money. However, before I chase harder AIBU?

OP posts:
Folklore9074 · 15/07/2022 14:04

mam0918 · 15/07/2022 12:58

Did either of you attempt to fill the seat?

Did you have an actual contract with her to pay?

What are the shows rules on covid cancellations?

Im guessing you choose not to take out insurance which pretty much every ticket provider offers for a small fee exactly for cases like this?

An actual contract?!? For a night out?! Jeeze. You sound like a fun sponge.

Luredbyapomegranate · 15/07/2022 14:05

Of course they should.

godmum56 · 15/07/2022 14:06

yanbu of course but good luck with getting your money back!

Pipsquiggle · 15/07/2022 14:09

She should pay....................but..................

Did you make it clear with all of the group when you booked about the cancellation policy with hotel and the theatre?

It's just that this happened with my DPs last week, my dad got covid. They had to give 24 hours notice and they got a full refund.

howtomoveforwards · 15/07/2022 14:09

She should pay. I guess the lesson here is to make sure insurance is in place for these eventualities so that one person isn't caught out with the cost. Doesn't help you now, of course, but for the future.

EmeraldShamrock1 · 15/07/2022 14:11

Yes of course she should pay.

Does she think you should pay for her?

girlmom21 · 15/07/2022 14:13

Pipsquiggle · 15/07/2022 14:09

She should pay....................but..................

Did you make it clear with all of the group when you booked about the cancellation policy with hotel and the theatre?

It's just that this happened with my DPs last week, my dad got covid. They had to give 24 hours notice and they got a full refund.

I think it's her responsibility to check the cancellation policy.

Well actually I think she should have paid the OP as soon as she agreed to go.

Delatron · 15/07/2022 14:13

Friend only let OP know on the actual day of travelling. I don’t think it’s OP’s job to sort out insurance and tell everyone the terms and conditions. She subbed everyone in good faith. If you take it to that level then people may as well just buy their own tickets. OP was doing a nice thing, not organising a business event where she should be liable.

Delatron · 15/07/2022 14:15

Yep and if everyone had paid OP straight away then quite rightly the onus is on them to check cancellation policy not OP. In essence OP was merely lending money.

TokyoSushi · 15/07/2022 14:20

Not RTFT but of course she should pay. What else does she expect, you to pay?

Maybe there was the possibility of insurance etc but I wouldn't particularly expect my friend to take it out, or be lumbered with the faff of claiming on it.

CallOnMe · 15/07/2022 14:28

Yes she should pay!!

We often pay for things on one of our cards as it’s easier to do that and get seats all together etc but we then transfer the money asap!

If 3 weeks have passed then I’d send her a private text and say ‘hi hope you’re ok? I was just wondering when I can expect the money for the ticket that I paid for?’

Double check she hasn’t actually paid you first!
It could have genuinely slipped her mind rather than her being a CF!

CoastalWave · 15/07/2022 14:31

Is it possible she's not aware that you've actually paid??

Maybe she thought she would pay when she got there and hasn't realised you're out of pocket?

I would just be direct with her.

Dear X< I already paid for your ticket when I made the booking and as you cancelled last minute, we couldn't get a refund, I'm xxx out of pocket. Sorry, but I can't afford to pay for your covid, please can you transfer me asap.

Delatron · 15/07/2022 14:35

It does say she sent a WhatsApp with her account details for people to settle up and then followed this up with an email directly to friend. Friend has not replied to either so she definitely knows the OP has paid and is asking for payment.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 15/07/2022 14:36

Don't mix and match business and personal credit cards.

But yes, she should cough up.

AryaStarkWolf · 15/07/2022 14:51

of course she should pay you, looks like she's not going to though with the lack of response

cstaff · 15/07/2022 14:55

It never ceases to amaze me that some people are willing to risk friendships over £100 or whatever the amount is. There was something similar about a group friendship birthday present a while back and the friend who didn't pay has since been ousted from the group. Some people are so short sighted and for the sake of a few quid will risk losing a friend.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 15/07/2022 14:59

cstaff · 15/07/2022 14:55

It never ceases to amaze me that some people are willing to risk friendships over £100 or whatever the amount is. There was something similar about a group friendship birthday present a while back and the friend who didn't pay has since been ousted from the group. Some people are so short sighted and for the sake of a few quid will risk losing a friend.

It's not just about the money a lot of the time, it's about lying about coming/not coming/an excuse and then not paying.

Most of us here would happily understand if someone can't afford it and says so. Or even if they say, can we pay you at the end of the month or something? It's when you're not paid, with excuses that people want to cut others off and risk friendships.

I can tell the type of person you are though, based on your post.

pimlicoanna · 15/07/2022 15:00

She should pay

Alconleigh · 15/07/2022 15:03

Of course she should pay.

And @GonnaGetGoingReturns I think you might want to re read that.......

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 15/07/2022 15:07

Alconleigh · 15/07/2022 15:03

Of course she should pay.

And @GonnaGetGoingReturns I think you might want to re read that.......

Re-read what?! I did say OP's friend should pay, no question about it!

But I also said if she apologised, paid up and took OP out then maybe (depends on how close their friendship is) OP could forgive her. But that's a big 'if' to ask of OP and her friend.

cstaff · 15/07/2022 15:10

@GonnaGetGoingReturns
I can tell the type of person you are though, based on your post.

I am not quite sure I understand your post - as I was being nothing but understanding to the OP.

Alconleigh · 15/07/2022 15:11

I meant cstaff's post. It reads that you think she's defending the CF, when it's the opposite.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 15/07/2022 15:15

Alconleigh · 15/07/2022 15:11

I meant cstaff's post. It reads that you think she's defending the CF, when it's the opposite.

Ah - I read it differently. Apologies @cstaff, can only think heat is getting to me!

cstaff · 15/07/2022 15:17

@GonnaGetGoingReturns
All good - it is a hot day here too 😁

MargotChateau · 15/07/2022 15:17

I accidentally pressed ‘you are unreasonable’ apologies, you are not!

I would send quite a terse text in a week, and say I hope you are better, but I’m frustrated you have not replied to my request for payment for the trip costs that you agreed upon. Please can you pay the trip costs into my account ASAP and send confirmation once done.

I understand it’s disappointing you weren’t able to go, but I’m not covering the costs for your illness, if this was a concern you should have taken out travel insurance.