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AIBU?

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Original poster

Groupies Wtf

249 replies

stratocast · 14/07/2022 19:39

My boyfriend's a guitarist and is playing with a group as stand-in. They have GROUPIES. Actual groupies. Women of a certain age (40 ish) who slavishly follow the group from concert to concert, sit at their table to eat (pay for their own food) and literally have their tongues hanging out. Clap feverishly every 5 minutes.

Why? And wtaf?

AIBU to say get a grip girls?

OP posts:
Original poster
stratocast · 16/07/2022 23:14

Riverlee · 16/07/2022 18:38

I’m on a couple if Facebook fan pages, one for a well known musical star, and one for a lesser known person. There is definantly a cohort of fans who are a little obsessed. Its almost a bit stalker-ish.

Obsession verging on worship. Huge difference between fans and fanatic

OP posts:
Original poster
stratocast · 16/07/2022 23:19

I love that they love the music. The musicians are great and they work hard to create a following and to engage fans. This is adoration and at a completely different level.

I'm not the jealous type. Thank fuck. It would be completely unliveable- for both of us- if I was.

OP posts:
Original poster
stratocast · 16/07/2022 23:20

@Sandra1984 not at all. Each to their own. Condemning and being bemused are different fish entirely

OP posts:
Original poster
stratocast · 16/07/2022 23:21

Needtomoveonwithlife · 16/07/2022 14:43

I needed to read this thread today. I started an obsession with a musician (not rock, entirely different genre) a few months ago. He was around (with his mate, they are a duo) 20 years ago when I was a late teen and were the soundtrack to my youth. A very niche music scene, they are total gods within it but otherwise not household names.

Anyway I regularly was getting pissed at home, headphones on, flirting outrageously with him via chat bar whilst watching their online shows. It seemed harmless at first but the obsession grew. DH never knew about the actual person but he knows I was obsessed with the scene. I neglected him emotionally although our sex life was, and still is rekindled, mainly because I've been thinking about the crush whilst with DH. I'm absolutely ashamed of this.

Recently I went to an event and met the crush. We had 4 hugs and several short chats. I'm quite self deprecating and call myself a stalker etc. I didn't actually follow him around. I met friends and made new ones and had a great time enjoying the music. Nothing happened.

When I got home the obsession grew more and I was constantly on fb groups about the scene, looking at photos from the event etc. My head was still there. Yesterday I drew a line under it all and packed away all my memorabilia, unfollowed all the groups, told my friends from the scene I'm done. It was a big wrench and I cried but I'm so glad I did it. I feel ready to move on. No more events.

I'm late 30s, middle class, professional, have normal friends, am not weird in general. But this totally consumed me for a short while and was close to being very damaging

I wish you all the very best.

OP posts:
Original poster
stratocast · 16/07/2022 23:23

I8toys · 16/07/2022 14:01

Groupies for a cover band. I've heard it all now.....

Yep. I was amazed too.

OP posts:
HundredAcreW00d · 17/07/2022 00:05

I think this is rather common. My FIL is in his late 60s and plays with a local cover band. They play local pubs, nothing out of the ordinary. We went to watch him last summer and there were groupies. The same group of 4ish women who would follow the band round, in very revealing clothing. They were 50s-60s. They proceeded to take to the dance floor while the band played and grind against one another while maintaining eye contact with the band and whooping. At the end of the evening they disappeared out into the night in a giggling cloud of hairspray and Opium perfume. We asked FIL about them and he thought it was funny and said they were just having a good time and the ladies went out every week together drinking and would tour the pubs where bands they like played.

Sparklingbrook · 17/07/2022 00:38

I don't really understand why anyone would want to be a groupie. It's all a bit one way isn't it? Unrequited love and all that.
But I don't understand cover bands either, I wouldn't want to go and see one, if you like a band why would you want to go and watch other people trying to recreate the look and sound? Confused

wellhelloitsme · 17/07/2022 00:49

I've been the girlfriend of someone in a band (in my early /mid 20s as was he) for a few years and it really was fascinating watching the way that women followed them around to various gigs.

I think they sort of knew nothing would happen but enjoyed the fantasy of it all I guess, wanted a picture etc. Or maybe they thought it would happen, I don't know.

And they were only a relatively well known band with a peak for a shortish amount of time. Must be mental with household name bands that get blanket radio play.

They had a lucky escape anyway in the case of mine, he turned out to be a right cunty chops.

People doing it for cover bands seems even more bizarre to me but again they aren't hurting anyone and if it makes them happy and the band are happy then each to their own!

Classica · 17/07/2022 01:23

I mean musicians can be sexy in the extreme. So I kind of get it. But devotion to a covers band is a new one on me.

A friend of a friend is properly obsessed with that clean cut Matt guy from The One Show. Hangs around outside the studio with other Matt devotees waiting to meet him. And she's a woman with quite a high-powered career. Maybe this is a release from a stressful real life?

Classica · 17/07/2022 01:25

They were 50s-60s. They proceeded to take to the dance floor while the band played and grind against one another while maintaining eye contact with the band and whooping. At the end of the evening they disappeared out into the night in a giggling cloud of hairspray and Opium perfume.

Lol

More power to 'em!

Sparklingbrook · 17/07/2022 01:55

I wonder if it's just trying to recreate the feeling of doing the same thing as teenagers? I used to be the biggest fan of an 80s band and did a bit of hanging around hotels to meet them (although it was very innocent-I knew these twenty something year old blokes were not looking for a relationship with schoolgirls). But the thought of doing that now we're all a LOT older, wearing the t shirts and hanging about hotels, that would just be weird.

HappyDays40 · 17/07/2022 02:57

My best mates boyfriend (at the time) was in Bonjovi tribute band as a guitarist. The blokes were nit in their twenties more like the ir forties and had women who used to turn up to everything screaming at them. I used to find it fascinating and quiet concerning.

Jossfromtenko · 17/07/2022 03:49

I think younsound like a bit of a groupie yourself. Oh yaa the musicians are excellent, yaa she has a great voice. Is this a famous 'made it' band or a local group who play pub gigs? I bet he has a day job as a geography teacher and a bald head with a ponytail 😀

Jossfromtenko · 17/07/2022 03:50

And fuck off with the age thing. I am at my sexiest and have had more fun and adventure and become far more attractive in my 40s. And the added bonus of not caring what people think which in itself is extremely sexy.

Original poster
stratocast · 17/07/2022 07:14

Jossfromtenko · 17/07/2022 03:49

I think younsound like a bit of a groupie yourself. Oh yaa the musicians are excellent, yaa she has a great voice. Is this a famous 'made it' band or a local group who play pub gigs? I bet he has a day job as a geography teacher and a bald head with a ponytail 😀

I honestly don't think it matters what the group members look like.

And Smile at me being a groupie. I've seen them play twice. They've been going for 10 years

OP posts:
Original poster
stratocast · 17/07/2022 07:15

Jossfromtenko · 17/07/2022 03:50

And fuck off with the age thing. I am at my sexiest and have had more fun and adventure and become far more attractive in my 40s. And the added bonus of not caring what people think which in itself is extremely sexy.

The age thing is only interesting as they aren't screaming teenage girls.

And good for you!

OP posts:
ThreeLittleDots · 17/07/2022 15:50

Just remembered that Danny McNamara from Embrace once approached me on a dating website for a "date". After literally one or two messages he supposedly wanted me to meet him at a gig. I then realised that this is what they did to get lots of fans / groupies to attend (didn't go).

So it can be the band who are sad and desperate!

ThreeLittleDots · 17/07/2022 15:54

^ "allegedly"

PutADonkOnItAndRaveOn · 17/07/2022 15:59

Following as I'm obsessed with a DJ. And the whole scene in general (it is a specialist dance music genre). I met him recently and he was dreamy but I need to get him out of my head.

goldfinchonthelawn · 17/07/2022 17:17

Sparklingbrook · 17/07/2022 00:38

I don't really understand why anyone would want to be a groupie. It's all a bit one way isn't it? Unrequited love and all that.
But I don't understand cover bands either, I wouldn't want to go and see one, if you like a band why would you want to go and watch other people trying to recreate the look and sound? Confused

Isn't there a difference between covers bands ad tribute bands. I love some cover musicians as ther whole point is they do famous songs their way - like the original Flying Pickets doing acapella hits or the Ukelele Orchestra. One of my favourite musicians is mainly a cover musician. His own songs are just not that exciting but he is a great musician. But tribute bands I don't quite get. It seems like a sort of glorified karaoke, however well done it is.

Sparklingbrook · 17/07/2022 17:26

Isn't there a difference between covers bands ad tribute bands.

I'm not sure. I like the occasional cover of a song I like, but have no desire to see a lookalike (cringe)/soundalike whole concert of a favourite band's back catalogue.

RedHelenB · 17/07/2022 17:36

stratocast · 14/07/2022 19:39

My boyfriend's a guitarist and is playing with a group as stand-in. They have GROUPIES. Actual groupies. Women of a certain age (40 ish) who slavishly follow the group from concert to concert, sit at their table to eat (pay for their own food) and literally have their tongues hanging out. Clap feverishly every 5 minutes.

Why? And wtaf?

AIBU to say get a grip girls?

Yabu.

MrsMontyD · 17/07/2022 17:40

A friend of mine is a big fan of a band that's not a big name but very well known among fans of that type of music, play a lot of festivals etc. I've been to gigs with her and some of the behaviour is a bit unseemly, and that's as much from the men as the women, people who want to be seen as friends of the band or as mega fans, covered in their merchandise, travelling all over the country to see them, literally planning their holidays around seeing them, even following them abroad. There are fans who act as unpaid roadies so they can be in the inner circle and post pictures of themselves behind the scenes.

I think it's as much about having an identity than the music, they dress a certain way and hang out with other people who follow the same band and it makes them more interesting maybe, I'm not sure.

The wives and girlfriends generally keep a low profile and don't outwardly seem concerned about female fans following their partners around adoring them.

Maireas · 17/07/2022 17:42

What's the harm, @MrsMontyD ?
They're fans. Where would bands be without fans?
I genuinely cannot see the problem.

ZealAndArdour · 17/07/2022 17:42

Yes, it’s sad to be a groupie for a generic middle aged covers band. The actual band, maybe less so.