Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Groupies Wtf

249 replies

stratocast · 14/07/2022 19:39

My boyfriend's a guitarist and is playing with a group as stand-in. They have GROUPIES. Actual groupies. Women of a certain age (40 ish) who slavishly follow the group from concert to concert, sit at their table to eat (pay for their own food) and literally have their tongues hanging out. Clap feverishly every 5 minutes.

Why? And wtaf?

AIBU to say get a grip girls?

OP posts:
Summerslam · 14/07/2022 21:13

I can imagine being a life long fan of someone like Rod Stewart, and completely losing the plot at seeing him live.

But a tribute band? Do they really have groupies?

Like the band Take Fat. Do women queue up to shag Fat Robbie?

Josette77 · 14/07/2022 21:16

My partner is an actor. He was well known in his teens and I love that he still has fans. They are really devoted and I know it means something to him.
Even Ryan Gosling once got excited meeting him. I think it's lovely.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 14/07/2022 21:17

I don't like the way you refer to these women, OP. I also wonder whether their advanced age takes the 'glitter' off your boyfriend and this rubs off on you. I mean, if they were young (as you keep referring to what groupies are supposed to be), it would validate you, wouldn't it?

You are not cool. Perhaps the band isn't either but this is their thing. Not yours. Find your own thing and stop latching onto your boyfriend's hobby.

Definitely stop denigrating these women, they are not there for you, are nothing to do with you. If any over-the-line-stepping occurs, its for your boyfriend to manage. Not you.

wallpoppy · 14/07/2022 21:17

I think you find these women to be embarrassing and are therefore embarrassed that your boyfriend plays the kind of music that appeals to them. You're afraid other people in the venue think you're like them. I bet you sit there with a face on not even offering a polite clap between songs lest someone think YOU are like THEM. And I bet you wind yourself around your boyfriend like a vine the moment he's through playing just to make sure everyone knows that YOU are the important girlfriend, not another one of those old groupies (wtf). I dated a touring musician (in real bands, not cover bands) for many years, and I've seen a hundred of you, my love, and a hundred younger versions of the women you're slagging off. I know who I'd rather hang out with.

Try not judging other people, or worrying what other people think of you, for a few minutes, you might actually enjoy yourself.

catandcoffee · 14/07/2022 21:18

Sounds absolutely harmless to me.

Why not let your hair down and relive your teenage years.

Why do women of a certain age, have to be grown up all the time.
🖐

OneFrenchEgg · 14/07/2022 21:26

I'm not sure the posters claiming to be gfs /perfumers of 'real' musicians are making the point they think they are.
I think its bemusing and a bit embarrassing but then I also cringe when my kids want to go to a stage door.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 14/07/2022 21:28

Perceptive, wallpoppy, very.

StopStartStop · 14/07/2022 21:29

Pre-pandemic, I went to a lot of gigs. I can assure you it's the blokes in bands who are desperate to cop off, not just the audience.

Apart from the first post-pandemic concert I went to, in March. An unusually high proportion of the women there were absolutely desperate. Perhaps they'd been musician-starved over the last couple of years.

But a cover band? No. I've never seen one but I can't imagine anyone wanting to have sex with them.

RenegadeMatron · 14/07/2022 21:40

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 14/07/2022 21:28

Perceptive, wallpoppy, very.

Well yes, but she still managed to slide in a, ’I dated a touring musician (in real bands, not cover bands)…’ which is more than a bit cringe. M

This thread isn’t bringing out the best in people.

suckingonchillidogs · 14/07/2022 21:40

That Bay City Rollers book is great, so wrong but so funny at the same time

Dontwanttoberudeorwastetime · 14/07/2022 21:45

RenegadeMatron · 14/07/2022 21:40

Well yes, but she still managed to slide in a, ’I dated a touring musician (in real bands, not cover bands)…’ which is more than a bit cringe. M

This thread isn’t bringing out the best in people.

Show quote history

Also
Try not judging other people

and

I bet you sit there with a face on not even offering a polite clap between songs/ I bet you wind yourself around your boyfriend like a vine the moment he's through playing just to make sure everyone knows that YOU are the important girlfriend

😂

goldfinchonthelawn · 14/07/2022 21:47

I went to the Belly reunion gig a few years ago. They were bloody brilliant, incredibly talented and sexy women in their fifties. They had a about a dozen quite geeky male superfans with tour teeshirts on and they'd ticked off every show they'd been to. they stood right at the front of the mosh pit just droooling quietly. I couldn't decide if it was sweet or creepy.

There's a difference between dedicated fans and groupies. Groupies sleep with the band. Fans just follow them everywhere and might fantasise sleeping with the band but realistically go home to their partners. The women you describe sound like fans.

goldfinchonthelawn · 14/07/2022 21:52

Summerslam · 14/07/2022 21:13

I can imagine being a life long fan of someone like Rod Stewart, and completely losing the plot at seeing him live.

But a tribute band? Do they really have groupies?

Like the band Take Fat. Do women queue up to shag Fat Robbie?

I used to be a waitress and we once had to get changed for a very posh party in a converted barn on the estate, that was also being used as the band's green room. They were some Rolling Stones tribute band and they were absolutely grotesque - eying us up putting on our uniforms and commenting on which one they'd let give them a blowjob.

They certainly weren't hobbyists, though. I think they got about 12k a gig and this was 15 years ago.

goldfinchonthelawn · 14/07/2022 21:53

Sorry - I quoted the wrong poster there. I meant to quote the PP who said tribute bands were just doing it as a hobby. I think a lot of them are professional and earn aliving from it. With more ego tossery than some of the people they copy.

HirplesWithHaggis · 14/07/2022 21:57

I'm sorry, OP, but I have to ask: Do they have a roadie called Roland?

<shows extreme age>

HardRockOwl · 14/07/2022 21:59

Do you understand what the word 'literal' means?

marrymeadam · 14/07/2022 22:00

If I had the money I would follow my favourite band for the entirety of their tour. And sleep with them if it was an option. I don't care whether you think I'm a sad groupie!!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 14/07/2022 22:03

RenegadeMatron · 14/07/2022 21:40

Well yes, but she still managed to slide in a, ’I dated a touring musician (in real bands, not cover bands)…’ which is more than a bit cringe. M

This thread isn’t bringing out the best in people.

Show quote history

No it's not cringe, it gave context. That's your bias showing and not showing your post in a good light. Some people do genuinely date and marry 'stars'. Whether they actively court them or not, who knows?

Some people are ordinary, have their own careers and interests, they don't need somebody else as 'gloss'.
... and then there are 'star fuckers'. If the star fails then they leave them because, gloss; they haven't any of their own.

As for what people say they are on threads, believe them or don't, nobody knows different, or really cares.

marrymeadam · 14/07/2022 22:05

Also what the fuck is the point of touring and playing in a band if you don't have fans. A band with no fans or groupies is a bit shit!

Scout2016 · 14/07/2022 22:05

The fact it's a covers band makes it all the more odd. I can see being attracted to the music someone has created, and seeing some connection in the lyrics they have written. It's something of them. But a covers band haven't written or created any of it.
That said, lots of actors are idolised and they didn't write what they said or produce or direct or even chose their costumes or do their own make up. Not to denigrate actors.
And they are usually the first to have done that particular part, and said those particular words, which can't be said of a covers band.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 14/07/2022 22:06

marrymeadam · 14/07/2022 22:00

If I had the money I would follow my favourite band for the entirety of their tour. And sleep with them if it was an option. I don't care whether you think I'm a sad groupie!!

You'd do that just because they're 'famous'? If so then that is sad, yes. It epitomises the term 'star fucker'.

catfunk · 14/07/2022 22:10

I have a friend who was in a relatively successful indie band in the early-mid noughties. Says fans used to climb under the table at signings and literally try to give them oral sex Confused he wishes he was more adventurous now

Penguinevere · 14/07/2022 22:10

I have a friend who does things like this, not for musicians, more like tv stars she has a big thing for. I think there’s an element of fantasy to it.

Original poster
stratocast · 14/07/2022 22:10

wallpoppy · 14/07/2022 21:17

I think you find these women to be embarrassing and are therefore embarrassed that your boyfriend plays the kind of music that appeals to them. You're afraid other people in the venue think you're like them. I bet you sit there with a face on not even offering a polite clap between songs lest someone think YOU are like THEM. And I bet you wind yourself around your boyfriend like a vine the moment he's through playing just to make sure everyone knows that YOU are the important girlfriend, not another one of those old groupies (wtf). I dated a touring musician (in real bands, not cover bands) for many years, and I've seen a hundred of you, my love, and a hundred younger versions of the women you're slagging off. I know who I'd rather hang out with.

Try not judging other people, or worrying what other people think of you, for a few minutes, you might actually enjoy yourself.

Yeehaw at the stereotyping

OP posts:
gwenneh · 14/07/2022 22:13

I think it's weird. And while I have a lot of personality traits MN might class as "cool wife" I really, REALLY cannot stand the groupie thing. DH doesn't tour any more, thankfully (he was already stepping away but Brexit really killed it) so I don't have to deal with it.

There's a world of difference between "fans" and "groupies".