Is everything really necessary for 1st Baby

[SareBear87]

This is a mix of AIBU and a call for help!

I'm 25 weeks pregnant and thought we'd best start collecting bits for baby.
We're both FT parents so pretty clueless/naïve
Both of us are laid back and no nonsense, but I am gobsmacked with this "oh you must have/buy..." attitude. I thought getting married was a licence to print money!

We have a pram, cot and a few bottles but jeez was that a fight. Between the sales assistants and overly keen family members I feel exhausted already!

AIBU - does a newborn really need all these gadgets and gizmos?

We are extremely lucky that people want to help and buy things but I'm pretty sure we don't need a bin that comes with cassette units or a wipe warmer.

Please help! What do we actually need? What is actually useful? I have no issue buying things that parents swear by, but it seems like 50% of stuff is just marketing! I hope to BF and express (so DP can also feed) but apart from that I'm open to peoples experience!

Everyone around us either had children 30+ years ago or has opted for the child-free life so I'm at the mercy of lurking on MN/Google!

Muslin clothes, 100s of them, for dribbles and burps, sleeping on your shoulder, or to cover up in the summer. Nappy bin can be useful, but not a must, wipes warmer made me spit my coffee when I heard of it for the first time.

Congratulations!

You really don't need half the things recommended and not before the baby is born either.
Car seat I'd add to your list
Muslins
Something to put them down in other than their cot like a rocker or swing or even a play mat
Bath temperature

Yep most things are not needed at all. You will need baby to sleep in your room for the first 6 months so you need to think about that. We had a snuzpod next to me that worked really well.

We also found a rocking swing really useful downstairs in the day so that baby could be put down safely.

If you're planning to use bottles some of the time you will need a steriliser. Microwave ones are fine, it doesn't need to be fancy expensive one.

I would also suggest a video baby monitor for when baby is sleeping in a different room to you. It takes a lot of the worry away if you can just see that they are settled.

Hope that helps a little.

The only gadget I’d recommend is a white noise machine, and even then not every baby likes them.

And if you’re bottle feeding, a perfect prep and a steriliser that can sort 6 bottles at once.

Just stick to the basics- if you need anything Amazon can have it to you the next day!

Just stay away from the nappy bins that need special inserts- absolute farce!

Not at all!

Things we found we needed with our first: muslins, steriliser, bottles, we formula fed so the Tommee Tippee perfect prep was a godsend, pram with a carrycot (he napped nicely in it downstairs), our car seat never left the car and lasted us until he was 1, we had a snuzpod for sleep till he outgrew it and went in a cot. Playmat was nice for him. Oh, baby bath.

But honestly random crap like room thermometers, wipe warmers, nappy bins, never needed it!

A sling/wrap/baby carrier is always useful as well. They really just need feeding, changing, and a safe place to sleep at the beginning. Cuddling and chatting to them is plenty stimulation as well.

Congrats! I'm 28 weeks with number 2 so this is a good reminder of all the things we need to do!

Muslins
Blankets/sleeping bags
Baby bath or bath seat
Cot. Moses basket or next to me crib helpful but not essential.
Something to sterilise bottles with. Milton cold water tablets cheap and easy.
Baby bouncer, is a great and safe place to put them down.
Sling, stretchy for early days and slightly more structured for after. I'd recommend integrababy.
Dummies
Bum cream
A very comfy back cushion for doing night feeds in bed and a nursing pillow.
Changing mat.

Not all of that is 100 percent necessary but I would recommend.

Wipe warmer is hilarious and also sad how big the baby industry is and how lots of first time parents fall for it!

Nothing to add to what's here already, but when my brother and his wife were expecting their first they were incredibly blase about it. When I asked where the baby was going to sleep, my SIL said 'Oh, I don't know. In a drawer...' 😅They did get sorted in the end, but didn't go for the mountains of stuff many people get.

One of these. Because babies are slippery little suckers. But you can get them for a few quid. This one is a fancy one. www.ebay.com/itm/174702876230

as for high chairs. Just get the white ikea ones. A play mat is handy. You don’t need too many bells and whistles. Something soft to lay on with dangly things to look at.

Absolutely no to cot bumper thingies.

Boobs
Nappies
Clothes
Pram
Changing mat
Wipes
Moses basket
Bouncy chair
Baby bath
Wipes
Bottom cream

You don’t need loads. Car seat, Snuz pod, pram, muslins, clothes, nappies, wipes, changing mat, bottles/pump. Everything else is just gadgets

Baby sling - second hand is absolutely fine and it doesn’t need to be an expensive one but it means you can get some things done whilst baby sleeps on you.

clothes- but not many newborn- I would go for more 0-3 months

for you- nipple cream & shields if you are breast feeding

thrush cream was a life saver for me too after birth!

Also bear in mind that you are a marketers dream at the moment and there are very few rules about what can and can't be sold
Eg not safe for a baby to sleep with a bumper In their cot - they still sell them
Perfect prep machines DONT kill the bacteria that can form in powdered milk,
They still sell them

Very little is really needed
Best of luck
To you

If you're formula feeding - Mam self sterilising bottles and a Perfect Prep machine. Lifesavers.

The only other things that I really found useful apart from the norm was a next2me crib and a GroEgg as our house tends to be very cold and I've got winter babies.

Cot
next to me style crib (was a godsend 3rd time around, wish I'd had it for number 1 and 2)
sheets
muslins ( great for swaddling and for using as burp cloths)
bibs
bottles
steriliser (so many kinds, don't forget can sterilise using Milton tabs or liquid)
perfect prep (can get on half price sale and only necessary if you do decide to formula feed, its convenient)
changing mat or stand (I only got the stand with my second but it was easier after a section than bending to change baby on floor or bed, not necessary but nice to have)
baby scissors and bath stuff
baby bath (can use a sink but it's handy)
baby bag (a backpack would do but my bag is beautiful and I splurged)
nappies (try a few different brands if going for disposable, if considering cloth join a group on facebook and look on your local council website to see if they help with the initial outlay)
wipes, nappy rash cream
teething powders and gels (not needed straight away but handy to have)
bouncer (safe place to put baby down)
playmat (for tummy time but a blanket would do)
clothes but I wouldn't get too many too soon as your baby might be bigger or smaller than you expect and often by time they fit into them the seasons change.
weaning plates and cutlery
highchair

car seat

I will say I'm defense of the Tommee Tippi nappy bin that it's been quite useful.
A relative bought it for us and once we ran out of cartridge we just used handled bathroom bin bags in it over the clips. Cheap and still keeps the smell in

We didn't have a lot for DD1.

A cot and a moses basket for sleeping
A car seat
A vibrating bouncy chair
A decent buggy (which I hated after 3 weeks and swapped to a carrier then a lightweight stroller)
Lots of muslin clothes, lots of blankets (babies leak from everywhere.)
A couple of bottles and some premade formula in different brands until we found one that worked for us.

You don't need much at all, especially when they are super tiny. They grow so fast that most stuff won't even get used at all.

You also don’t need to buy all the stuff now, so while you will need a high chair for example, you have 6 months to sort that. For a newborn, some clothes, some muslins, nappies, a pram/car seat/sling and a cot. Everything else is a nice to have. I like having a feeding pillow, and a white noise machine. DS has a cheap one that plugs in to avoid changing the batteries in the ones aimed at kids. If you’re into that kind of thing, a nice change bag. I have a changing mat upstairs and downstairs to save traipsing up and down to change baby.

I waited until DC was here before I got most things. Essentials for us were muslims (extra large were fab as could use multi ways), change mat (cheap one from asda), lots of baby vests and sleep suits (he stayed in baby grows for ages, I didn't bother buying small outfits at all but this was during lockdown so we never saw anyone), car seat with adaptors for the pram was also really handy. Also plastic backed bibs. The one that aren't are totally useless as they soak through clothes. Asda do them cheaply. Somewhere to sleep also? I bought a next2me type thing that was a waste of money as he refused to sleep in it..

Having a 6 month old I would say keep it very simple. Anything we found we needed along the way we just picked up on amazon prime.

The actual essentials:
Nappies.
Wipes/cotton wool.
Muslin Cloths.
White sleepsuits & bodysuits in size tiny baby, newborn, 0-3.
A place to sleep. (personally would recommend tutti bambini cozee)
A way to transport them; sling and/or pram.

That is it! It's interesting as when I caught up with NCT group recently some people's godsend's had been things others had never used. For example we never used our Sleepyhead but another family loved theirs.

From my non essential but helpful list:

An amazon echo dot - you can ask it to play white noise on loop and use the 'drop in' mode as an audio baby monitor.

For BF: Lanolin cream, medela nipple shields,

I'd just put an anecdotal heads up; I hear lots of people say they want to BF and express so DH can have a go and you can get a break. It is not a break to have to pump after feeds instead of going to bed in order to get enough milk, clean the equipment, and then potentially become engorged and have to pump again whilst the baby is having the expressed milk. Really I'd only think of expressing a few months down the line if you want to go out somewhere. In the meantime it's easier to learn how to feed side lying and just feed them at the boob.

I didn't even use a baby bath or bottom cream 😆

Instead of a baby bath wash them in the basin or in the bath with an adult. I only used cream if they had nappy rash, which they never did.

I also managed to FF two babies without a perfect prep.

If you have an old phone lying around consider buying a cheap IP camera that comes with an app and use that as a video baby monitor. Ours cost about 20 quid off Amazon and does the same job as a dedicated monitor with a base unit costing closer to £100.

Don't buy 'baby' items when there are perfectly good 'non-baby' items that are basic the same. For example a changing bag, when you probably already have several bags and backpacks in a cupboard somewhere.

Definitely buy things second hand - anything except car seats and mattresses is safe. Our first stroller was 20 pounds off ebay - a bit beaten up but new would have cost several hundred pounds.

If in doubt don't buy it - pretty much anything can be delivered within 24 hours if you really do need it.

Nappies
Bum cream
muslins
car seat
vests
babygrows
feeding bra
nipple cream

we coslept and that really is all we needed for the first couple of months

The actual essentials:
Nappies.
Wipes/cotton wool.
Muslin Cloths.
White sleepsuits & bodysuits in size tiny baby, newborn, 0-3.
A place to sleep. (personally would recommend tutti bambini cozee)
A way to transport them; sling and/or pram.

I agree with this and don't think I really had anything else at all for the first three months.

Muslin cloths

A very very lightweight blanket that can be used for whatever is needed.

A bouncer in the bathroom so you can have a wee with both hands free in the early days without worrying.