Is everything really necessary for 1st Baby

[SareBear87]

This is a mix of AIBU and a call for help!

I'm 25 weeks pregnant and thought we'd best start collecting bits for baby.
We're both FT parents so pretty clueless/naïve
Both of us are laid back and no nonsense, but I am gobsmacked with this "oh you must have/buy..." attitude. I thought getting married was a licence to print money!

We have a pram, cot and a few bottles but jeez was that a fight. Between the sales assistants and overly keen family members I feel exhausted already!

AIBU - does a newborn really need all these gadgets and gizmos?

We are extremely lucky that people want to help and buy things but I'm pretty sure we don't need a bin that comes with cassette units or a wipe warmer.

Please help! What do we actually need? What is actually useful? I have no issue buying things that parents swear by, but it seems like 50% of stuff is just marketing! I hope to BF and express (so DP can also feed) but apart from that I'm open to peoples experience!

Everyone around us either had children 30+ years ago or has opted for the child-free life so I'm at the mercy of lurking on MN/Google!

If bottle feeding then you need to sterilise bottles as well. I bought the mam bottles as you can microwave sterilise them but also a cold water steriliser as I find it easier to wash them and dump them all in there until needed.

In terms of useless stuff

-changing bag. I bought a fold up changing mat instead and just use a backpack, far more room and as we’ve had more kids there’s room for multiple outfit changes that are needed.

-bath thermometer - just use your elbow to check it

-bloody scratch mits. They get lost almost immediately. Sleepsuits/bodysuits in the early sizes usually have integrated scratch mitt parts now anyway. Most pointless things ever.

DD is now five months old and the stuff we've found to be a necessity is:

Pram
Sling (we have ergo baby 360)
Ewan the Dream Sheep
Tutti Bambini Cozee crib
Rockit for pram
Baby bouncy seat to stick her in whilst I'm doing chores - we just have a fairly basic one
Perfect Prep (we mix feed)
Changing station (got it second hand from FB marketplace)
Muslins
Change bag with a foldable change mat
Car seat
Baby monitor
Snuzza MD baby monitor (clips onto nappy and monitors breathing) - got ours second hand
Baby bath (though first two months she was small enough to fit in the sink)
Cotton wool pleats (she has super sensitive skin so have always done water and cotton wool when changing nappies)
Baby gym

We had our first, while broke, in a tiny one bed flat. The marketing of stuff is a racket. Sling, buggy, changing mat, babygros, muslins, nappies.

Get the big stuff like bouncers, rockers, walkers second hand . You don’t know if they’ll love it or scream the house down the second they’re put in it. You don’t want to be dropping hundreds on stuff that will go unused.

My second is one.

I got:
Nappies
Wipes
Changing mat
Vests and babygrows
Bottles
Sterilizer
Prep machine
Pram
Car seat
Blankets
Gro bag to sleep in
Moses basket
Play mat
Muslins
Bibs if bottl feeding

I got a lot of stuff second hand too.
Congratulations

Something to wear. A couple of packs of vests and sleepsuits.

Something to catch wee and poo. Cloth or disposable. Wipes also cloth or disposable.

Something to sleep in. A cot, basket or a decision to bedshare.

Something to travel in. Carseat plus pram or sling.

Something to eat. Boobs or bottles, first stage milk and steriliser.

That's it. For everything else there are 24hr supermarkets and online shopping. Some people need muslins but some babies never throw up. Some people use a play mat and bouncy chair loads but some babies never want to be put down. So wait, chill and see what suits you as you go.

1 big bottle of Johnson's baby shampoo lasted us 2 years. We're all set until DC is 8 yo. 😂

Things we used for dc in the first 6 months;
Moses basket with mattress and sheets
Sleeping bag
Pram
Car seat
Baby grows/vests/bodysuits/hats/mitts
Bath
Nappies and wipes
Bottles
Nappy rash cream/sudocream
Microwave bottle steriliser
Bouncer chair.

I must be the only person who didn't use muslin cloths but you might find them useful.

I bought a fairly expensive breast pump and only used it twice.

Something I regret not having was a changing table as I trashed my back lifting an increasingly heavy baby from the changing mat on the floor or low bed.
The ligaments in your back loosen up in pregnancy and you are more vulnerable to injuring your back post partum and until it returns to normal, so do take care.
When considering purchases think of the longer term
Eg a cot that converts into a small single bed
A high chair with removable tray that can be pulled up to the table.

For mine I had:
Muslins (I think we had 8 total for a very refluxy baby, I used the same one until it had been sick on a few times and we were frequently washing things anyway...)
Newborn dummies (used sometimes to settle him as he was colicky)
An aldi sweet tub used as a cold water steriliser (held 2.5l, half a Milton tab)
Carrier/ sling
Usual nappies, wipes, nappy cream
Moses basket and sleeping bags (3)
Bottles (think I had 3 so I had a couple of bottles expressed and stored in the fridge at any one time)
Blankets and enough clothes to last between washes every few days

I got rid of all my baby equipment after baby number five. Then baby number six came along and I had to restock. The difference between what I had for the first and the last was massive.
I would say the essentials are;
Babygrows, vests and cardis (outfits are wasted on tiny ones).
A cosy pramsuit and hats (thinking your baby will be a winter one)
Muslins
A stretchy sling
A nappy bag with loads of compartments
Soft blankets
A baby bath (so much easier than filling the regular tub)
A bouncy chair
Car seat
Push chair
Babywearing coat (if you will be babywearing outside)
Reusable breast pads (disposable were so uncomfortable)
A good nappy cream (I use metanium)
A baby mat/gym
A decent mid price electric breastpump and milk storage bags
Sterilizer

Congratulations OP x

All you need to start off is a cot + bedding , nappies, babygrows, a cotton shawl and a few vests. The baby will outgrow it all PDQ.
You'll get given more clothes than he'll ever wear :-)

I recommend you have some bottom cream and gripewater on hand for when need arises. Car seat if you have a car, and a pram to take the baby for walks in or park him in for a fresh air sleep in the garden.. My crib, cot and pram were second hand (after three babies of previous owner) we used them for four, then gave it away. I recommend you have some soothing bottom cream and gripewater on hand for if/ when need arises. I didn't use baby shampoos, moisturisers, soap, powder etc; just bath in warm water. A new baby can be bathed in a sink or washing up bowl, before long they enjoy being swum around in the big bath.

I forgot;
Changing mat
Nappy bags.

We used a backpack we already had as a changing bag.

I had a John Lewis bottle flask , handy for when out and about . I saw someone use a washing basket inside the bath for the baby .

I forgot the bigger things: car seat, pram, and bouncer chair. The chair was an absolute lifesaver when he was in the mood to be put down. He was in that a lot at home and the sling out and about. He hated the pram for the first couple of months, luckily I had a cheap one from fb marketplace until he was big enough for a fun offroader (also second hand)

My list:

Muslins
Nappies
Wipes
Bepanthen nappy cream
Clothes
Pram/buggy
Changing bag of some sort (wipe clean or at least with some waterproof pouches for pooey clothes)
Bedside cot/something to sleep in in your room
Cheap baby bath, mainly as it saves filling a big bath for a tiny person
Baby bouncer or similar - great for going to make a cup of tea
Car seat

We had nice-to-haves like Ewan the dream sheep, bath thermometer, hanging pram toys, Jumperoo, but you don't need them.

The latest nonsense I have seen is an Artipoppe carrier which is £300 for the cheapest. Bonkers.

Things that retrospectively I found really useful:

1. Changing table and everything you need for changing (ie nappies, etc).
2. Baby monitor (especially if you have more than one floor)
3. Clothes (but only body suits and sleep suits. Didn't need or want anything else for the first 6 months apart from outer clothes for cold weather).
4. Muslin cloths
5. Cot or Moses basket and bedding
6. Cellular blankets

You can replace the following kit with these bits of 'non-kit':

•Perfect prep machine; make 3 bottles in advance and blast in microwave 30secs when required. Shake (for hotspots) and test on arm.
• Breast pump; tin of formula (especially if it's just DH doing the late feed or whatever)
• Video monitor; any functional baby monitor. If they're not crying their asleep!
•Nappy bin; bin bin
• Teething medication, herbal unctions, essence of cloves, baby crystals; Calpol. Put it in their bottle with the formula (see above)
•Changing table; the floor

Voilà, saved you £200!

Agree with having somewhere to put them down downstairs, so get a swing chair or similar

*they're

Definitely not a nappy bin, not unless you don’t empty your kitchen bin for a week 😂 they’re an ongoing expense to buy cartridges, and a complete faff and just something extra to do. Much easier to just bung the nappy in your kitchen bin which you’ll probably be entering daily or every other day anyway. Use nappy bags if you’re worried about the smell or want to chick a poohey one straight in the wheelie bin.

don’t get a bath seat (even when they’re sitting up), they’re not necessary as you’ll still need to be right there ready to catch baby anyway and they’ve caused babies to drown when they’ve tipped over despite the suckers. Still seem really popular though but definitely not Recomended.

basin in the kitchen sink makes a good baby bath, some people really don’t like rat idea though. Don’t get one of the baby shaped/ newborn baby bath supports, you’ll be replacing it in a few months with a standard baby bath they can sit in if you do.

no Crib/cot bumpers or material surrounds that go inside the cot. Putting their arms or legs through holes is much safer than getting their face beside material covering the holes and possibly suffocating. they look nice and are often cute but save them for an older baby. Same with cot duvets.

baby sleeping bags for winter sleeping. Blankets aren’t really recommended until they’re well and truly wriggling around. 3 of the smallest size will allow one in use, one in wash and one spare for midnight leaky nappy changes. Once they’re a bit bigger can get more if you want, we used them for around two years then switched to blankets and eventually a toddler duvet. They also saved some middle of the night cot bedding changes as the sheet stayed dry despite the leaking nappy.

this time I’m planning on using the Carry cot of my pram instead of a Moses basket downstairs. Yes it means the pram will always be up in the living room for a few months but I’d have to store it anyway.

bouncy chair, baby swing (godsend if your baby likes it but doesn’t like laying down), play gym and jumperoo are all useful tools and entertainment for baby but they’re not essential and not really needed for the first few months.

Lanisoh nipple cream for you and yellow metanium bum cream for baby. And no fancy changing unit, as my friend said “baby can’t fall off a changing mat on the floor”. Good luck, you will be awesome x

A wrap sling! We have a Hana sling and love it, you can use it at home so you can keep hands free. Other than that, a few vests, sleep suits and a cardi, a couple of blankets. Lansinoh nipple cream if you're breastfeeding.

This is my first too, it is such a minefield and I've found myself overwhelmed so many times already.

I think we've decided to stick with the basics, a few things that we think might be nice to have and get things like highchair etc when baby actually needs it.

Our list so far:

travel system
cot
drawers with changing mat on top
nappies
wipes
muslins
baby bath
nappy cream
baby wash/shampoo
clothes
bouncer
moses basket
bottles
steriliser
perfect prep
formula

I couldn't wash a baby in my sink. I have a long-nosed non-rotating kitchen tap.

Muslins
Wipes
Nappies
Changing mat
Bottles
Breast pump if you want to express
Baby carrier (super useful for gaining arms back)
Calpol for 2m+
Dr Beckmann Carpet and Upholstery Cleaner
A handful of newborn clothes, a few 0-3mo
A place for baby to sleep not on you, like a Sleepyhead or Moses basket
Pram
Car seat

That's all you really need to start with. We didn't get a cot or monitor until DD was 4mo

Op I'd wait and see how you get on breast or bottle feeding before buying a load of bottles or breast pump.

My bottles were hardly used. I could have got away with 2 bottles.

Never used nipple cream - breast milk is pure magic, sorts sore nipples and sticky eyes!

Some where to sleep
Some transport
I wouldn't even buy too many nappies
Vests & Babygrows.
Bump cream

Once breastfeeding is established go buy some bras your backsize with drop once baby is born.

Change mat - a towel is a good improvise if your stuck somewhere

A bag for endless amounts of baby bumf.