Is everything really necessary for 1st Baby

[SareBear87]

This is a mix of AIBU and a call for help!

I'm 25 weeks pregnant and thought we'd best start collecting bits for baby.
We're both FT parents so pretty clueless/naïve
Both of us are laid back and no nonsense, but I am gobsmacked with this "oh you must have/buy..." attitude. I thought getting married was a licence to print money!

We have a pram, cot and a few bottles but jeez was that a fight. Between the sales assistants and overly keen family members I feel exhausted already!

AIBU - does a newborn really need all these gadgets and gizmos?

We are extremely lucky that people want to help and buy things but I'm pretty sure we don't need a bin that comes with cassette units or a wipe warmer.

Please help! What do we actually need? What is actually useful? I have no issue buying things that parents swear by, but it seems like 50% of stuff is just marketing! I hope to BF and express (so DP can also feed) but apart from that I'm open to peoples experience!

Everyone around us either had children 30+ years ago or has opted for the child-free life so I'm at the mercy of lurking on MN/Google!

4 kids and never used muslin cloths??
Moses basket + sheet and blankets
Car seat
Baby gros and vests - outerwear
depending on season
Bibs
Pram
Nappies
Nappy bags
cotton wool
Changing mat (or you can use towel)

It’s hard to know as every baby is different and every parent does it differently! I’d say buy things as you need them rather than getting it all in advance.

I was told I’d need loads of muslins but neither baby was sicky and they were barely used. I stocked up on nappies & wipes for dc1 then realised that they didn’t suit her so gave them away. Had to try about 8 brands of bottles with dc1 before I found 1 she would take which cost a fortune!!

dc2 I did it differently, tried small amounts to make sure they suited before bulk buying.

dc1 hated all slings, dc2 loved them. Dc1 liked her Moses and cot but DC2 was all about cosleeping.

I would buy the bare minimum then add to it later on.

A lot if people have put wipes, but I really wouldn't use wipes on a newborn

White noise machine (one that stays in all night, NOT the owl / sheep)
night light
sleep bags
comforter
black out blinds
black out curtains
muslins
dribble bibs
vests
baby grows
blankets

What’s essential to me, won’t be essential for you.

I live in the countryside and have two dogs. I wanted to breastfeed but it didn’t work out. We do a lot of weekends away. So for me it was essential to have a big pram that could cope in fields and mud. We also got one that can be used for overnight sleeping. I wouldn’t be without the perfect prep, MAM anti-colic bottles and Kendamil formula.

However, if you’re a breastfeeding mum in central London then you’ll do better with a decent sling, some nipple cream and a changing bag that’s a backpack.

The minimal list PP have already shared and then you work out everything else depending on what works for you, your baby and your circumstances.

You don't need to fork out on a white noise machine. If you have an old phone then just download a free white noise app to use on it. The one I use lasts 8 hours. When my dd was younger I'd reset it during the night so it'd last.

A wipe warmer?! 😱 had to Google to see what they were!

If you couldn't express, I'd recommend a perfect prep - we used it with both of ours (3 and 21 months) and it's now enjoying its third go at life with friends of ours (obviously it's been well looked after and cleaned!)

We had a a next2me for our bedroom for them to sleep in which was useful.

DD1 loved her Moses basket for downstairs... DD2 really HATED it so that was a waste of money (borrowed the first, bought the second) so we ended up using one of those elephant pillows to lie on/against and she loved it (again had this from DD1 so came in handy!)

And as pp has said, lots of muslins

Congratulations! 😊

If your going to express an electric double pump makes it much easier and quicker. A baby carrier/sling used for both my sons, youngest has been in it the most as it enables hands free to do other things and he usually falls asleep in it. Try before you buy because you need one that's comfortable and easy to use for you. Car seat, pram with carrycot, moses basket/next to me type crib for 1st 6 months. Bottle steriliser, muslin cloths, baby sleep sacks, a baby floor play mat with some baby toys

It's taken me until baby number 3 to figure out what's actually needed.
Vests(lots of)
Sleepsuits(lots of). I haven't dressed mine in outfits until at least 6 months old.
Cardigans.
Hats.
Wipes.
Nappies.
Moses basket/stand.
Blankets.
Bouncy chair.
Pram.
Muslins.
Car seat.
Would highly recommend a travel system combining,carrycot,pushchair and car seat. Weve had a mamas and papas ocarro bundle for 2 of ours and love it.
I know you said you'd like to bf but bottles/ formula/something to sterilise as a back up. DC 3 hasn't been a great feeder and was losing a lot of weight, having these as back up avoided the stress of having to get things at short notice.
For you:
Comfy knickers.
Maternity pads.
Breast pads.
Lansinoh nipple cream( miracle stuff).
Comfy maternity bras.

Oh sterilisation wise we bought a storage box with a lid (not a massive one) and kept it on the kitchen worktop, filled it with cold water and chucked the bottles in with Milton/Asda own brand sterilisation tablets

For me, a growegg room thermometer was essential as I have a completely screwed up sense of temperature. It was helpful to check quickly and know how to dress dc or what bedding to use.

We're TTC for a second after years between first. I've made a list of essentials I can't be without:
Pram/travel system with car seat
Bottles
Bottle steriliser
Perfect prep machine
Baby bath/bath seat
Rocker/swing
Crib/Moses basket
Muslins
Clothes sleepsuits
Highchair from birth
Change bag
Change mat

Things I did not need:
Ridiculously faffy outfits with too many buttons
Changing table
Thousands of teddies that I had to bag up for years later as too many
Baby shoes for newborn

Get as much as possible second hand (most things have a useful span of about 2 months!)

Get a second hand breast pump (but Facebook won’t sell them so put the name eg. Medela in the search)

And I got one of these and bathed her in the sink…amazing:
www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-partners-baby-foam-bath-support/p3435645?sku=236627962&srsltid=AdGWZVSVlwxBDFxYiiHHRWS7G-nQNFx7OVY1lZlsppsDi7wNKznuX3YDg0c
Then later a shnuggle bath. As PP said…they are very slippery!

“Sock ons”.

Will save you a fortune in lost socks.

I formula fed from teb start didn't even consider breasrs feeding so slightly different than you but I'm also a FTM. I bought sooo many gadgets. This is what looking back I loved and found essential or makes life easier.

Moses basket with stand ( includes new mattress and several fitted sheets).
Tommee tippee bottles, electric sterilisers and perfect prep machine.
Baby sling/wrap - if you want to use this check out your local sling library where you can rent different ones and try out ones before buying
White noise machine is a godsend.
A million muslin cloths... If you think you have enough... You don't.

Carseat - we bought one with a travel system and was gifted a Doona....i nearly always use the Doona it is an absolute godsend it's a carseat with wheels!( carseat is essential as hospitals won't let you leave without one if you are leaving by car)

Some essential baby clothes like vests and baby grows.

Knitted hat for baby just after they are born.

Wipes, nappies, nappy cream (I use bepathan and there is a yellow one metotonium I think it's called its great), nappy bags. ( we love asda own brand for nappy and wipes and nappy bags)

Change mat-not strictly essential but will save your floors and carpets from messes which happen.

Baby sleeping bags- again not strictly needed but I loved as no worry about baby kicking cover over face.

For yourself after birth, lots and lots of maternity pads, breast pads, painkillers.

Haha forgot a few things.
Change bag i love mine it's a backpack kinda of one.

Oh if you do by a pram or travel system highly recommend taking your car and making sure it fits in the boot.

We used cotton wool and water when we were at home but we did use newborn wipes sometimes when we were ou

My baby is 3 months. My main advice would be to get very organised before the birth as we found we had NO time. I had emergency C section and was largely bed bound for 2 weeks. I still feel like I'm chasing my tail. So I think trying to get all basics and setup before baby arrives. Yes you can amazon prime but you don't want to be doing research. My main essenrials:
Professional help - I got a doula/ maternity nanny / breastfeeding support for 2x 4 hrs a week for first 12 weeks and honestly absulte godsend helping me to breastfeed and get to gripes with everything. I also increased our cleaner.
Good changing table and all the stuff - I opted for reusable wipes (basically little toweling squares) but disposable nappies
Night lights / fairy lights for night feeding / changing
Sling - I favour a bjorn one Ive got a wrap one but didn't get on with it
Cushions and breast feeding pillows
Baby clothes - I wouldn't bother with anything other than vests and sleep suits for first 6 months
Baby monitor - we got the BT vision 6 one it's great
Lots of food for you - suggest batching cooking and freezing meals in advance
Things I wish I'd not bothered with:
Pram - do get one but I'd go 2nd hand and not think too much as you don't know what you'll want. Ours hates it so I don't use it really
Crib - I Co sleep which us actually nicer and easier for both of us
Sleeping bags -, I think clothes and muslins / blankets are fine
Good luck

*out and about

Agree, very little you actually need in advance. I remember getting so stressed out about this and ended up buying a lot.
Spent a lot of time thinking about a pram when in the end only used it a few times and pretty much always used a sling.
A changing table was a lot more useful than I thought it would be, after c section would have been a struggle to change baby on the floor or sofa, could have put changing mat on the dining room table though I suppose.

It’s amazing how different families and their babies are. I had a very pukey baby and went through literally a dozen muslins a day. So cost per use def my best purchase.

Only things I'd get new are mattress and car seat, everything else is plastic so can be sanitised or fabric and can be washed.

I'd browse your facebook marketplace and see what you fancy. Otherwise I found nct friends good for trying new things, some people buy EVERYTHING even when they dont know what it is they're buying and you can try out different things at your friends to see if the baby likes them

Remember if you find you really need something when the baby is here you can normally find a way to get it delivered the next day so I dont think it matters even if there are essential things you've missed

This.

Lots of bibs, lots of babygros and vests, dummies, a sleepyhead, a sling, a next to me crib, a pram, a braun inner ear thermometer, arms up swaddles, a white noise thing, a night light for night feeds, a baby monitor, cheap petroleum jelly is best for bum changes, a perfect prep if you’re bottle feeding, an electric steriliser…

i never used muslin cloths

for me the main must is double zip sleepsuits e.g. bonds wondersuits amazing for middle of the night changes when you don’t want baby to wake up too much

also a haakaa is genuinely better than a pump imo i get 100ml+ with 10 mins on a haakaa and 10ml on my double calypso pump 🥲