Is everything really necessary for 1st Baby

[SareBear87]

This is a mix of AIBU and a call for help!

I'm 25 weeks pregnant and thought we'd best start collecting bits for baby.
We're both FT parents so pretty clueless/naïve
Both of us are laid back and no nonsense, but I am gobsmacked with this "oh you must have/buy..." attitude. I thought getting married was a licence to print money!

We have a pram, cot and a few bottles but jeez was that a fight. Between the sales assistants and overly keen family members I feel exhausted already!

AIBU - does a newborn really need all these gadgets and gizmos?

We are extremely lucky that people want to help and buy things but I'm pretty sure we don't need a bin that comes with cassette units or a wipe warmer.

Please help! What do we actually need? What is actually useful? I have no issue buying things that parents swear by, but it seems like 50% of stuff is just marketing! I hope to BF and express (so DP can also feed) but apart from that I'm open to peoples experience!

Everyone around us either had children 30+ years ago or has opted for the child-free life so I'm at the mercy of lurking on MN/Google!

Honestly don't buy too much. You'll get lots of presents and vouchers especially for your first baby and also this might sound odd but on all of my three babies I enjoyed getting out and about to the shops to buy stuff once they were born. It gave me something to do in the mornings so I did a lot of my baby shopping then. Don't buy too many lotions and things like that as what you buy might not suit the baby.

Minimum. The more we bought the more stressful it became trying use it all.

A couple of funny reflections.

I bought one of those ‘top and tail’ wash bowls, spent ages picking colours and matching items, only to find that in hospital I was given two disposable foil pie dishes to use for ‘topping and tailing’ my DS!

Another was following my friends ‘good idea’ of buying baby toiletries in with my weekly shop, before starting maternity leave. A way to stock up before money became tighter.
😂 Have you seen how little shampoo a baby uses - 1p sized blob in the palm of my hand.
I honestly think I had enough bottles of shampoo ‘saved’ for my son to be still washing his hair in baby shampoo when he was 15! 😊

My newborn hated the pram until about 6 months old. The only thing in my experience that was an absolute complete and utter must was a stretchy sling. My top advice though is to wait until your baby is here before committing to much stuff beyond the absolute essentials. The phrase ‘every baby is different’ is so so true, as is every family. If you find something may be useful you can always get it when they are here.

You really don't need much, we got rid of lots after my first which wasn't even worth the storage space of keeping it for second.

What we used initially

Vests and baby grows - 10 each
Cardigans & hats - 2/3
Nappies & wipes
Changing mat (on floor)
Strechy wrap sling
Cot
Something to put baby in downstairs
Car seat
Backpack (any) for nappy bag

What we bourght later on

Bottles
Pump
Monitor
Light weight pushchair
Outfits
Toys & books
Highchair

Honestly in the first d few weeks you don't need much... and you'll have plenty of time to buy things online if need be
Clothes
Pram
Bottles
Formula if needed!
Blanket
sleep suits
Vests
Baby gros
Nappy's
Cotton wool for wipes
Baby bath support is handy
Towel nice and soft

Do you think you can put a normal cot next to the bed instead of buying a chicco next to me?

This is a great list! 😀

Our wee one is nearly 6 months now,things to consider

Where will they sleep day and night? we had a moses basket (brought up and downstairs)and then a next to me - next to me is great as there is a tilt option,great any time he got congested.

Where will you wash them and with what? We used a basin,then a baby bath and now big bath with a wee seat (looks like a sun lounger) also bath thermometer was great - about £5 on amazon. We used water only for first few few weeks then organic child farm - personal preference,we don't use any baby moisturiser

What will you feed them? You already know and hopefully it works for you and baba. If not be worth while having a formula in mind encase your partner has to go get it - be no time.for researching at that point.

Where will they be when not in your arms / sleeping? We used a mat only for first 3 months and then in a boucer / mat

Where will you change them and how will you clean them? We bought 2 changing mats (in Asda) one for upstairs one for downstairs (think it was 2 for £12) my father in law made a changing unit for top of the chest of drawers. Keep nappies upstairs In top drawer,we have a caddy for downstairs- god send. We used cooled boiled water in a lunch box with cotton pads for first 6 weeks,we use wipes now mainly. Only cream ever needed the yellow one and only if bum sore. Oh and decide on nappies.

Other things we used - snot sucker / Nasal spray- c-section baby so very congested. Alexa (already had it) we play nursery rhymes during the day and white noise at night. Waterproof sheet and few normal sheets / spares. Most things can bd ordered from amazon snd there the next day so I wouldn't get too worried

Don't think anyone's mentioned a decent baby thermometer. I'm sure it's theoretically possible to manage without, but when you're skew-eyed from lack of sleep and panicking at 3am it's nice to be able to check.

Other than the obvious things listed above (nappies, wipes, babygros etc) I would say get the things that if you need them you need them NOW, not in 24 hours when the shops open or Prime can get to you. For me that would have been Lansinoh nipple cream, because bf was total agony before I was out of hospital (it didn't stay that way, but I needed the relief from the Lansinoh cream, like, yesterday). For the baby's comfort I also recommend the newborn WaterWipes, and the special baby Sudocreme that comes like a liquid in a tube rather than the normal sticky stuff in a pot. Not generally fussed about brands at all, but these are genuinely great.

Everyone says buy muslins but I ended up drowning in new and second hand ones. I genuinely hate the fucking things I find them
pointless, baby wasn’t sick a lot. I wish I didn’t bother buying any just for the amount I was given.

You get things so quickly online now, if you want to buy and recognise a need for it then you can just order it as you go.

I agree with all of this. Babies are all different, so sometimes one person’s godsend can be another person’s waste of money. My first would only sleep in a Sleepyhead. My second had read the safe sleep guidelines and liked to stretch out in his crib.

I also agree about expressing. Lots of first time mums (me included) say they’ll express to give their husbands a go, but expressing is work in itself. Also, not all mums get anything out when they pump. And pumping too much used to give me blocked ducts and mastitis. I’d wait and see how you get on when it comes to feeding before spending loads of money on feeding paraphernalia (breast pumps are expensive).

There are also some things that, while not in any way essential, are useful and make your life easier. And that’s the point of them. The nappy bins with cassettes fall into that category because getting a nappy bag out and open and putting a pooey nappy in it and tying it up and putting it in the bin is quite fiddly when you’ve got a wriggly baby on a changing table. The Shnuggle bath falls into that category - not essential at all but useful because it has a bump for the baby’s bum to be propped on. A mirror for the rear headrest in the car is useful to be able to see baby when you’re in the front. Not essential but things I was glad I had.

One of my top tips would be - don’t pay top dollar for a changing bag. Any generic bag will do. I spent stupid money on a changing bag with insulated pockets for bottles and neither of my children ever had a bottle.

Also you probably know this but virtually every except car seats or mattresses can be bought secondhand. People sell bundles of baby clothes for pennies on FB, Vinted etc. You can buy Shnuggle baths secondhand for £5.

This is a really good example of how different babies can be and how it’s often best to wait and see what you need - I’ve made two very sicky babies and I couldn’t live without muslins but I have a friend with a baby the same age who bought stacks of them and barely uses them.

Bouncy chair for every room so you can actually put them down. They'll likely nap in it too.

Cot
Pram
Nappies,
Wipes
Baby powder and sudocrem
Fuckton of bibs
Muslins
More babygrows than you think they can possibly wear in a month.
Vests
Soft fleecy blankets and a comforter
dummies
More bibs
Steriliser and perfect prep machine (not actually essential but will save precious minutes where you could be sleeping.)
T shirts (for you. You'll be puked on a lot.)
Extra 200 bibs.

If course not. A place for baby to sleep safely, a pram/pushchair, a car seat
And a bag for you to carry changing mat, change of clothes, bottles/snacks, muslins.
Everything else? Gravy. A throw can be a playmat, plastic food containers can be blocks, measuring spoons can be a rattle, you can bath baby in the kitchen sink until sitting up for the normal bath.
Muslins, nappies, breast pads, bottles if going that way. High chair eventually (though we had one that attached to the table), a few more toys.

You don't need a lot.
Why do you need a bath thermometer. What a load of bollocks.

Lots of it can be bought second hand aswell, because the previous person barely uses it!

No you really don't this is what you must have
Car seat
Pram can be second hand
Moses basket but could use pram as a bed
Nappies
Wipes or cotton wool
Baby grows
Steriliser
Bottles
Formula if chosen
Can't think of any other essentials !

I'd just put an anecdotal heads up; I hear lots of people say they want to BF and express so DH can have a go and you can get a break. It is not a break to have to pump after feeds instead of going to bed in order to get enough milk, clean the equipment, and then potentially become engorged and have to pump again whilst the baby is having the expressed milk. Really I'd only think of expressing a few months down the line if you want to go out somewhere. In the meantime it's easier to learn how to feed side lying and just feed them at the boob

Totally agree with this. Pumping is an absolute chore and double the work if you're pumping with the sole aim of having milk for your DH to feed the baby. What I would suggest is researching and having a budget set aside for a session with a lactation consultant. I used one for my 3rd baby and it was the best money I ever spent.

Something else is a soft baby hairbrush! I always forget to buy one and always realise my baby's hair needs brushed after their bath. Nail clippers too.

DD1 came when dh was a student, and she was born only 3 weeks after moving area. What we had was:

Moses basket
Cot
Pram
Buggy
All of which were around 30 years old-I did buy a new mattress.

I went to an NCT nearly new sale and picked up a couple of blankets, a load of babygros, a sling, a couple of hats and a snowsuit.
A friend gave me her reusable nappies and an old change bag.

What I bought new:
2x extra covers for the nappies (as friend warned me she hadn't had enough)
7x pack of bodysuit vests
1 x dungarees (in the Littlewood closing down sale)

We asked for a highchair for her first Christmas present from ILs.

The only other new thing I bought in the first year was a foldable buggy. We didn't have a car and whereas the old buggy we had was lovely, getting it on the bus was heavy.
However I will note dd was the first grandchild and great grandchild on all sides, and we were the first of our friends to have a baby so we got given a lot of outfits!

Interestingly all those things lasted through all three children, except the new foldable buggy that dd2 snapped when she was having a strop (about being put in the buggy). 🤣

Of all the pointless crap I bought it was Muslins!! What utter nonsense that you need tons. I had tons but used only 2 at best. This was the biggest waste for me as well.

I had a baby last year and always watched baby lady on YouTube when I was pregnant, I loved the excitement of seeing all the new products, prams etc. I’ve just gone back on not even a year later to see the brand new model car seat I got is now the old model and you can now lie your baby flat while in the car 🙈 it’s impossible to keep up!

If I was just focusing on the first month and keeping this little human alive the things I’d get would be

• nappies (Aldi normal were fine at first then switched to Aldi premium which stop at size 3 so then switched to pampers)


• bepanthan and nail clippers - the only things in my changing caddy I actually used. Any red bits just slap some bepanthan on 🤣


• Wipes - started off with water wipes and used cheeky wipes to dry him when he was a newborn (they’re just like tiny little towels that go in the washing machine). I didn’t know if you needed to dry their bum or not but I’ve now stopped end he hasn’t had nappy rash so 🤷🏼‍♀️ bought cotton wool and used it a bit at first for the same thing. Aldi do a 99% water wipe that’s a 60p copy of water is wipes, we buy a big box of them every week


• milk - either formula (and a perfect prep machine is an essential in my opinion) or breast pumps etc


• we got the mam bottles that sterilise in the microwave so bought a steriliser and all the tablets etc but never needed to use them. If in doubt just run everything under boiling water to kill germs


• some sort of crib for baby, we got the snuzpod which was ideal and lasted until nearly 8 months in the end up as we moved house and didn’t have the cot ready at 6 months. Moses basket is optional


• a pram that lies flat


• a car seat - we have the cybex cloud z one which was expensive but you can get them second hand and I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve used the lie flat function when carrying him in out the car so I’d definitely choose it again


• a load of white vests and baby grows


• something to tell the bath temperature and room temperature of the bedroom (so you can figure out what to put on them, I NEEDED to know the first few months)


• a baby monitor although you won’t need it at first, we got the bt ones and they’re ideal


• swaddles for the first few weeks if that’s what you’re going to do then the love to dream swaddle bags that keep their hands inside, they’re a game changer compared to the faff or wrapping them up like a burrito every night but I think I’d still do it again for the first few weeks to get him into a routine


• lastly but most importantly.. Ewan the dream sheep! My little boy has slept through the night every night since 6 weeks and is now nearly 1. If you go for the deluxe Ewan he’ll hear them cry during the night (for 4 hours then needs reset) and he’ll put white noise on. So many times at the start I heard him wake then change his mind when he heard Ewan 🤣

Nappies.
Wipes/cotton wool.
Muslin Cloths.
White sleepsuits & bodysuits in size tiny baby, newborn, 0-3.
A place to sleep. (personally would recommend tutti bambini cozee)
A way to transport them; sling and/or pram

This but also, would recommend a travel system as you can clip the car seat on for quickly popping into a shop when they’re asleep.

Somewhere to put them down in the house when you need to make a tea etc so Moses basket (or just the carrycot from the pram, I’ve done that with all of mine)/baby bouncer (bouncer is also brilliant for getting them to nap without having to hold them all the time).

Sleeping bags! Those are brilliant, no worrying about the blanket covering their face.

If you’re bottle feeding I’d recommend the perfect prep, it really does make bottle feeding easier.

And for when they’re 2 months + a playmat and some toys/books.

Amazon Prime so you can figure out what you actually need once they arrive. They're all different. We got just a sling to start and no pram as we're in a tiny flat. Of course she hated the sling. Luckily managed to get a pram delivered pretty quickly. We did in fact need one of those nappy bins with the cassettes because the outside bin is down two flights of stairs and round the back and no way we were keeping poo nappies in the flat all day without maximum protection between them and us.

I'd never even heard of a wipe warmer 😆
Many posters have made good suggestions. To add I also BF/express (my LO is 3 months now). I wish I didn't buy my double electric breast pump. Too much faff. Since replaced with a manual one for £15 and it does the job better IMO.

Hard to say.

Crib- some people co-sleep and don't bother at all
Pram- some just use a sling all the time
White noise machine- plenty on YouTube
Bottles- some exclusively breastfeed
Changing mat- change them on a towel on the bed
Room thermometer- I just went on how the temperature felt to me
Baby bath- bath them in the sink
Towels- just dry them with a hand towel
Changing bag- I use the same rucksack I've already had for years

You don't need much.

My absolute essentials for the newborn stage are:

• Muslins
• Vests
• Sleepsuits with integrated scratch mittens
• Nappies
• Gentle wipes
• Bum cream
• Metanium cream
• Little nail scissors
• A couple of haakaas and breast milk freezer bags if you're breastfeeding
• A few cellular blankets
• A few layers and a hat for out and about
• Car seat
• A crib if you're not co-sleeping
• A night light or dim lamp to make night feeds easier
• Little play mat to plonk them down on

Other things can be bought as time goes on:

• I found a dummy helpful
• I used white noise on YouTube for months but now have a brilliant little sound machine that I much prefer
• Clothes can wait. It's easier to just have them in sleep suits for the first month at least. Bloody cute too.
• I eventually got a nursing cushion and loved it so much I still use it 9 months on!
• A diffuser has been invaluable for misting baby Olbas oil in his room when he's snuffly
• Totter and Tumble play mat has been one of the most expensive but best things we bought by far
• We were given a second hand rocking chair. I didn't think it was necessary at first but it's been an absolute god send.

We didn't have (and didn't miss) a cot, pram, nail scissors, bottles (until expressing 3 months later), room thermometer, nappy bin.