To not understand how can you live on £60 a week?

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19 year old DD's social worker has arranged for her to have chaperone at her UC appointments which means she can now claim. She has severe anxiety and cannot leave the house without another person much less speak to a stranger.

I've just helped her fill out a form on Entitled To to check how much she would get.

£60 weekly.

How the fuck is she meant to survive on £60 a week?

Does this mean HMRC still expect me to fund her?

Obviously I will but if I refused what the feck is she supposed to do? how can she eat and clothe herself on £60 a week? What about contributing towards gas and electric? Paying for her mobile phone? Accessing social activities?

I just don't understand how this can be deemed enough to maintain any kind of standard of living?

They asked for my income so I assume they've taken this into account. They didn't ask if I was related to her so would a friend also be expected to feed and clothe her?

I just don't understand how this can be deemed enough to maintain any kind of standard of living?

It's not supposed to. It's supposed tontine you over until you get a job.

How come she has a social worker but hasn't gone to a GP to get an anxiety diagnosis? Genuinely asking as I think it changes my advice. FWIW I think the benefits system is shocking and that there should be universal basic income, but that's another matter ...

She is too anxious to visit a GP to get diagnosed with anything

Stop mollycoddling her. If she is incapable of seeing a GP, she should probably move to an assisted living support home.

But without a diagnosis, how would you ever know?

OP hasnt set out the need though, what are the daughter's needs which would incur extra costs for daily living tasks or mobility tasks?

OP I really think you need to get help for her urgently and that does include getting her to a GP.
She is at risk of "settling in" to this way of living. If she lives like this for a number of years, it can become even harder to change it.

If she had her own home to run her payment would probably be more.

60 quid pin money is plenty if you don't have to run a house on it.

@bellac11 she has clear needs. But without a diagnosis or at least seeing medics, she has no evidence so would struggle to get PIP. The system does not just rely on you saying I can't do this because of anxiety. Someone needs to back that up, and that someone cant just be your mum.

@CourtneeLuv only £14 a week more.

£60pw is more disposable money than I have per week and I work!

This. If she wants to become better she needs to take some responsibility herself. To hand her benefits when she is still living at home will probably not help her get better. She has her room, food, a phone and can go to the pub with her friends. Why would she bother getting a proper diagnoses. And yes, I know anxiety is hell, my daughter suffered from it for years.

But it can and will be better op, but it’s important that your daughter takes steps to it.

You say she has 'clear needs'. All we know is that she doesnt want to engage with the GP and has had anxiety.

But what needs does she have for PIP, what would the benefits be enabling her to have support with in terms of daily living tasks and mobility tasks?

Does she need to fund therapy, fund a support worker, pay for a carer, pay for extra washing or clothing due to soiling, need specialist equipment etc?

I asked OP what adult team she is open to, LD, ASD or MH?

I asked whether she is a care leaver as its odd that she has a SW and yet seemingly has not engaged with services, its rare to be able to get a service from adult services if you dont actively want that.

Has she had CICA, and if so has she spent that. If she is a care leaver the CICA gets disregarded for the first 12 months, that timescale might be coming up now that she is 19 and therefore will she continue to have benefits?

Very difficult situation for you OP. Sorry if I‘ve missed it, and not really relevant to the original question about UC, but is your daughter under treatment for anxiety? I presume not as you said she refuses to visit the GP. This may be the time for tough love. I had quite severe anxiety in my early 20s. I was not in a position to rely upon anyone else for financial or other support, but was very obviously struggling in the workplace. I was basically sat down, given a stern but compassionate talking to by my boss, told to get myself to the GP and sorted out before coming back. Sometimes loved ones can almost aid in perpetuating anxiety by caring so much that avoidance becomes the norm. Medication kicked in within a few weeks for me and I was able to start scrambling out of the black hole I’d been digging myself deeper into for a couple of years.

OP I think you should be trying to help build her confidence up so that she can do some sort of work rather than dwelling on it not being enough. It’s never going to be ‘enough’. UC is meant to be a stop gap. I am sure she can contribute to society in some way, plenty of jobs do not require much face to face contact.

in terms of socialising, not many working people have £60 for socialising left when they’ve paid their bills etc. that’s just the reality of life for most. Also she’s not well enough to visit her GP to get a proper diagnosis or treatment, but despite this is well enough to socialise and go on nights out?

This payment was supposed to give her some idependence and allow her to access a social life without having to rely on me in order to build her confidence. At least that is what me and her social worker were aiming for.

She needs medical help rather than financial help, don’t you think? If she’s as bad as you say then fgs get a GP telephone appointment and get the wheels in motion to help her. I don’t know how these things work but if she has a social worker can’t they refer her to the right mental health services?

Getting benefits so she can go out with her mates is NOT going to help her long term, is it?

There are two ways of looking at it.
Vulnerable under 25s,( especially care leabers) don't get enough help. Conversely, if your child goes to Uni their loan is assessed off the parents income and you are expected to subsidize them until they are 25.
If students didn't get parental support and didn't get jobs they wouldn't have enough to live on either.
UC is designed as a temporary benefit to stop people from starving.
PIP is the benefit with the purpose of helping people who are physically or mentally unwell to maximise their personal independence.

My main concern here is that you don't want this to be the rest of your daughter's life, you don't want this extreme anxiety to set.
I would be pressing her to get help. I would try to get her to come to the GP with me. I would see the GP myself and ask for advice.
I would phone the AMHT and ask if they could visit (they can only say No).
If my daughter refused to co-operate I would show some displeasure but make it clear that it was out of concern.
I know you are walking a tightrope between enabling her and putting too much pressure on but I wouldn't wait until it got the the point where she became sectionable.
You can apply for PIP now and find help with filling in the forms to the best advantage. Having no medical evidence will be a drawback though.
I am sorry both you and your daughter are going through this difficult time and I hope she will engage with someone to help.
Can you get some advice for yourself on the best way to help her?

This is frustrating to read. Yes £60 isn't much, however if she has no outgoings and is too ill to work surely this will cover her essentials? New clothes and socialising are not essentials.

If OP’s DD hasn’t left her bedroom for 10 days and this is a regular occurrence she presumably at least needs prompting to prepare or cook a meal, support to engage with others, bathe. She may well also need prompting to eat, dress, budget, communicate verbally. She could also get points in the mobility component under the planning and following a journey task.

How PIP will be spent is irrelevant to the actual application and how it is assessed.

The context 25 years ago I claimed jobseekers allowance during the school holidays between A-levels and go into university for beer money basically and it was 45 quid.

So what’s that a £15 increase in 25 years it’s mind blowing that people should be expected to survive on

If her anxiety is that severe she doesn't need money for nights out also instead of putting so much energy into claiming benefits maybe put it into actually seeing a dr and getting a diagnosis and help

It's cute how you haven't given a single shit about this till it affected someone you care about.

Intheflicker OP probably didn't realise until it affected her.

OP-the more I think about this the more I think you need advice on how to respond to her. On the surface it sounds as if you're leaning towards enabling her but, if she's very unwell going too far in the other direction won't help. I would push very hard for help, whether she wants you to or not.

I'm in Ireland. Here for an adult over 18 living independently it is €208/£176 a week. If you are renting you can get help with housing costs(not sure how much) and you get an extra €30(I think it's about that maybe a bit more) a week to cover extra heating for half of the year from the end of Sept to maybe the start of April?

There are some awful comments here and I’m sorry OP that you feel you have to explain what has caused your daughter’s anxiety. People don’t understand what it’s like if they don’t have experience of it. And sone people will never understand.

People have to actually live on £72 a week and they have got living costs, gas and electric, food, travel, internet to look for a job

She has no living costs at all, £60 a week for a social life is good!