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Original poster

To not understand how can you live on £60 a week?

425 replies

Frequency · 14/07/2022 12:22

19 year old DD's social worker has arranged for her to have chaperone at her UC appointments which means she can now claim. She has severe anxiety and cannot leave the house without another person much less speak to a stranger.

I've just helped her fill out a form on Entitled To to check how much she would get.

£60 weekly.

How the fuck is she meant to survive on £60 a week?

Does this mean HMRC still expect me to fund her?

Obviously I will but if I refused what the feck is she supposed to do? how can she eat and clothe herself on £60 a week? What about contributing towards gas and electric? Paying for her mobile phone? Accessing social activities?

I just don't understand how this can be deemed enough to maintain any kind of standard of living?

They asked for my income so I assume they've taken this into account. They didn't ask if I was related to her so would a friend also be expected to feed and clothe her?

OP posts:
CoastalWave · 14/07/2022 14:43

FogoInn · 14/07/2022 14:39

She doesn't even need to "go" to the GP.
They can book a video appointment and mum can sit next to her and do a lot off the talking if DD is unable to.

Show quote history

She does need PIP!

She needs to sort herself out ffs.

ifonly4 · 14/07/2022 14:43

I think you'll find there are many people in this country who don't have money for social activities, whether on benefits or towards minimum wage - their money has to go on food, rent, bills and if they're lucky clothes. Gas and electric probably won't be much more for her on top of your usual costs, it'll be the cost of a shower, charging her phone and the odd light on in another room. Two of us here live on £50pw for food, so I'd argue it'd cost about £30pw if she was living with us. That'd still live her with £30pw for clothes, going out.

Putting that aside, I really hope in time your DD can get support and hope life gets easier for her.

antelopevalley · 14/07/2022 14:45

Parents are expected to subsidise them. Which shafts the families where the parents are already struggling financially.

Namechangedis · 14/07/2022 14:46

Its all shocking to me. I feel awful saying but don’t expect any help from Pip, I have a diagnosed genetic condition and am losing the ability to walk and carry my own shopping. What do you think you would get for that? They deemed it zilch. 🤣 I literally have to crawl up the stairs like a spider and it’s making my condition worse. It’s shocking and I’m so sorry for your dd.

viques · 14/07/2022 14:46

Frequency · 14/07/2022 12:46

I was expecting it to be a reasonable amout to live on. I thought it would be approx £100 p/w. This would allow her to pay for her own phone, contribute a small amount towards the cost of keeping her and leave enough for her to maybe have a night out once a month and save for some clothes. I don't think that is too much expect.

I wasn't expecting her to be able to book trips to Marbella once a month and walk about dressed head to toe in Gucci with a 50inch flatscreen strapped to her back.

I was expecting her to be able to fund some form a a modest lifestyle.

She doesn't have any living costs because I am willing to pay for her but I very much doubt every single parent out there would still be willing to fund adult offspring. DD will be fine. My shock and concern is mostly for young people who don't have parents willing to help them to extent I help DD.

At 19 she should be able to pay for her own clothes, food, gas and electric consumption, phone contract and have a small amount left for social activities.

She didn't choose to be ill.

Do you think that young people who are living independent lives and working to support themselves have £400 a month clear spending money for clothes and nights out?

alphapie · 14/07/2022 14:47

kikisparks · 14/07/2022 14:42

It’s ridiculous. With the cost of food up and gas/ electricity benefits need to rise as well. They probably won’t and people will need to decide whether to heat or eat in winter. I’ve actually worked with people on benefits and the government schemes are so hostile and difficult to manage for the most vulnerable in our society, then the media works to encourage benefit bashing. It’s no wonder people

If you lived alone with £60 per week-

Current average gas and electric weekly bill for 1 bedroom place is £20
Minimum to buy food, toiletries and cleaning products £30
Return bus travel to supermarket twice a month (free in Scotland for under 22) £8
Phone contract £2.50

And you’re already over. That assumes you’re already set up in a home with all the possessions you need and you don’t need to top up your rent. Nothing to save for a broken washing machine, hair cut, Christmas presents for family, new shoes or underwear when yours have holes, tv licence or any kind of tv subscription etc etc

But the OPs daughter doesn't have to pay for most of those things on the £60 a week

So it's a bit pointless listing them

jojogoesbust · 14/07/2022 14:47

I think aside from the money my first concern would be the fact that she is clearly very depressed. She needs to speak to a GP and get treatment. This needs to be her priority, not money?? She would feel differently with treatment about work and earning some money

antelopevalley · 14/07/2022 14:47

Single adults only get £74.35 a week, plus help with council tax and rent. But many have no one to subsidise them.

GCHeretic · 14/07/2022 14:47

Livpool · 14/07/2022 14:37

Complete agree with this - some of these comments are awful

Show quote history

How so? Her daughter is being given thousands of pounds a year pocket money for doing nothing, and she has presented no medical evidence to access higher levels of support.

Dobbysgotthesocks · 14/07/2022 14:49

GlamorousHeifer · 14/07/2022 12:32

Out of interest OP, how much do you feel it would be reasonable for her to receive?
You have said that you will obviously support her so I assume you have the funds to do so.
There isn't an infinite amount of money to hand out to everyone Unfortunately.

@GlamorousHeifer ok then you go ahead and live on that for a month!!! Go on I dare you! And then come back and say you think it's too much 'hand out' 🤯🙄

Oblomov22 · 14/07/2022 14:51

@FogoInn exactly. She doesn't even need to go to the GP, You can have an online or video appointment.

You don't even need to go to the GP re PIP. you don't need a diagnosis. you are allowed to apply based on need.

1smallhamsterfoot · 14/07/2022 14:52

What would she do/what would happen to her if you didn’t exist? She needs to force herself to get help. She can go to the pub she can have a boyfriend, surely she can go to gp. Honestly she is being pandered to. I was raped and it was horrifying but it was 5 years ago she needs to engage with help and you need to force her.

Dobbysgotthesocks · 14/07/2022 14:52

CoastalWave · 14/07/2022 12:44

You're actually shitting me? She's going to live under your roof? And you think £60 a week isn't enough?

I haven't bought new clothes for over 4 years. I don't go out. I don't have 'social activities'

That £60 is more than enough for food for one person and to contribute to your bills. Honestly. How much gas and electric is she planning on using!

Seriously???

Contributions to food and fuel? Money to get to appointments. Phone bills. Prescription charges! It adds up!

I challenge you to live on it for a week. You won't though because somehow you believe yourself to be better than the Ops daughter!

Awombaweh · 14/07/2022 14:53

My 20-year old student son lives at home and I support him. I don’t think that is unfair. He’d probably be over the moon if he could have £60 a week for doing nothing. You sound extremely entitled.

Elsiebear90 · 14/07/2022 14:53

I think for someone who you say barely goes out the house and lives with their mum £60 a week is more than enough, I work full time and I don’t spend £240 a month on socialising and new clothes.

I am also struggling with the idea that her anxiety is so severe she can’t even do a telephone call or appointment with the GP with your support, but she can go down the pub with her friends, the pub is loud and full of strangers who she will at times have to interact with, and she must have to order drinks at the bar at some point?

It’s not her fault she has anxiety, I also suffer with generalised anxiety which at times has been very severe (to the point I was suicidal), but she needs to take responsibility for getting help. She can’t just live at home forever avoiding adult responsibilities with you (and the government) enabling and supporting her.

PeekAtYou · 14/07/2022 14:55

£60pw pocket money for fun is more than most teens get. If you look up the budgets of university students then I think they'd be spending about £30-£40pw on food and like your dd their utilities and rent is paid for by loan so a comparable situation to your dd imo.
If she needed money to live on then she'd have etc go through the UC process. This money would allow her to provide a contribution to living costs like utilities

GCHeretic · 14/07/2022 14:56

Dobbysgotthesocks · 14/07/2022 14:49

@GlamorousHeifer ok then you go ahead and live on that for a month!!! Go on I dare you! And then come back and say you think it's too much 'hand out' 🤯🙄

Show quote history

Why would anyone do that when they have a job that pays more?

People work so that they don’t have to survive on benefits alone.

Choopi · 14/07/2022 14:56

I do think it is very little. Where I live if it was just job seekers she was getting as a young person living at home she would receive about £100 a week.

I think it is a bit of a red herring in your situation though. It doesn't seem like 60 or 100 would make a difference. The only think that will is getting professional help. If your GP doesn't provide online consults could you pay a private gp and like someone sit beside her and speak if it is needed?

When my dh was very ill with depression I used to accompany him to his appointments and speak for him a lot of the time and the GP was fine with that and would adjust his meds going from what I said. Once he felt somewhat better he was able to attend appointments without me and advocate for himself.

Getting on some kind of meds might just give her the strength she needs to attend talking therapy or education or work.

TabithaTittlemouse · 14/07/2022 14:57

I hear you op.

Just wanted to say that the job centre have been great with one of my dc who also has anxiety (due to asd). Before doing anything they are starting with helping him with his self esteem and confidence. They are going slowly and building trust. On days that he’s been unable to attend they have done it online/phone/rearranged.

Hopefully they will be as helpful for your dd and eventually she may be able to seek the help that she needs to process her trauma.

CrossStichQueen · 14/07/2022 14:57

ibrows
Her DD could score 8 points for the engaging with others descriptor which is enough for standard rate PIP.

Stabbitystabstab · 14/07/2022 14:59

This needs sorting.
I know someone whose daughter was like this.
She's now in her 30s and mummy still supports her because she refuses to get help.
It will only get worse. The money is irrelevant. (And £60 pocket money a week is fucking generous!)

antelopevalley · 14/07/2022 14:59

@Choopi where do you live? Jobseekers for an adult here is £74, plus help with rent and council tax. But if you have a mortgage it is only £74 plus help with council tax.
Unemployment benefit here is very low although it is not as bad if you have children under 18 years of age.

LargeLegoHaul · 14/07/2022 14:59

Money to get to appointments… Prescription charges! It adds up!

With UC and no earnings OP’s DD would be exempt from prescription charges. She would also be eligible for help with travel costs to secondary, tertiary and quaternary care appointments.

Therealpink · 14/07/2022 15:03

OP you are both trapped in a terrible cycle. The gov financial support is no solution to anything for her. She is lucky to be loved by you and have a home. Any money you can scrape together needs to go on counselling and medical support for her. She may get a small temporary lift by being with friends she trusts in the pub but it’s solving nothing. It’s been 5 years since her trauma. She needs to take steps to improve her health and train so that she has something as a base for her life. It’s not your fault in any way but you are enabling her. You probably won’t see that because it’s a bitter pill to swallow. Your only job here is to get her to the GP, with you and her social worker by her side of needs be and regular counselling, even if you have to bribe or put you foot down completely. People don’t get to choose how they are affected by things but there are relationships and things in peoples control after that can feed or starve a trauma.

I know it’s not so easy but please don’t hide behind gov support improving things. It simply won’t.

5zeds · 14/07/2022 15:05

£60 pw for spending even including food is more than we spend per person here.