To not understand how can you live on £60 a week?

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19 year old DD's social worker has arranged for her to have chaperone at her UC appointments which means she can now claim. She has severe anxiety and cannot leave the house without another person much less speak to a stranger.

I've just helped her fill out a form on Entitled To to check how much she would get.

£60 weekly.

How the fuck is she meant to survive on £60 a week?

Does this mean HMRC still expect me to fund her?

Obviously I will but if I refused what the feck is she supposed to do? how can she eat and clothe herself on £60 a week? What about contributing towards gas and electric? Paying for her mobile phone? Accessing social activities?

I just don't understand how this can be deemed enough to maintain any kind of standard of living?

They asked for my income so I assume they've taken this into account. They didn't ask if I was related to her so would a friend also be expected to feed and clothe her?

@FogoInn from the OP those were the areas that she might be likely to score but the thresholds have historically been high.

For the other ADLs you are right there is a possibility of (probably)prompting being considered (from the further info OP has posted)but again with no evidence to back it up it would be a struggle to get awarded.

I'm not negating the impact of severe anxiety on people's ability to function, just thinking about what might be the most reasonable expectations from the info given and how OPs daughter could be supported to get anything she is entitled to.

She is very young and still living at home. The majority of people still get some support from their parents at this age and most parents don’t think that this is unfair. There is a limit to how much you can stretch the tax funds. Where should we take the money away from to pay for19yr olds living at home with parents who can afford to support them?

I mean, it goes without saying but she needs to see a doctor and you should be taking her to see one. I know she’s now an adult but this has obviously been an issue for years, she can’t live like this for the rest of her life… She needs medication and counselling.

If she lived alone I’d agree that £60 is not enough to live off but she lives with you so I’d say it’s adequate.

It is totally shit OP, when I was 17 I had to leave care with 2 black bags.
I was at collage and had to live of much less but I had no family support what so ever.
I don't understand why under 25s get paid less tbh.
But I do think your dd really needs to get some help (I know you have tried).
Your dd needs to find someone that she can trust and that will take time.
Maybe this new sw can break through that barrier.

OP, I'm very sorry for the situation that you and your daughter find yourself in, and it must be heartbreaking for you.

Having said that, do you think most 19 year olds are fully supporting themselves? Parenting and parental support doesn't end when your child turns 18. Most of us with young adult children are supporting them in some way, whether they suffer with mental health issues or disabilities or not. So I don't know why you think she should be receiving the funds to fully support herself. Of course you are expected to help if possible, especially when she's living with you!

Also, you must understand how unreasonable it would be for your daughter to expect to claim benefits if she refuses or is unable to interact with the system. If she is unwilling or unable to try to get help or any kind of diagnosis, why would the state take her word for it and throw money at her? I understand that this is really difficult for her, but there's no way around it.

It's going to be difficult for you, but I think you need to stop enabling her helplessness. Ensure her that she has a home and that you will support her, but insist that she needs to get to the GP to access help for her mental health, and she also needs to either work on getting some qualifications (which she can do online) and/or finding some sort of job. It might take some ultimatums from you - not paying for her phone if she doesn't take certain steps, for example.

Please also don't let her struggles impact your life any more than it has to. Don't cancel plans with friends because she asks you to. As a previous poster suggested, tell your daughter that she is welcome to hang out with you and your friend, but that you are not going to cancel your plans.

Huh?

Most are saying this in response to the OP saying she pays taxes so doesn't mind her OP taking from the system.

Which is a silly point as the OP is likely to never pay in enough to cover both her costs to society and her daughters

OP do you have an IAPT (Improving Access to Psychological Therapies) scheme under your local nhs? (This is googleable) I work for the nhs and a lot of my work is doing telephone assessments for common mental health conditions. We don’t provide formal diagnoses (just probable ones) but we can provide treatment if suitable. Sometimes I write letters of support for UC access if my patient has agoraphobia for example, and it seems like that needs to be taken into account as they cannot work while experiencing symptoms.

I use to, and I didn’t live with my parents, I was on JSA and I had my own flat and that’s roughly what I got a week. I never got new clothes everything was from eBay.

As in brand new as I know what MN is like so making that clear.

To put the £60 into perspective, my DH has just had surgery, he will now only receive £99.35pw, that's to house feed & cloth himself and his share of our two children, so an extra £39.25pw. That's for someone who has contributed to the system for many years.
Obviously I will support him through this time, just the same as you will need to support your DC if she truly can't live on £60 pw.

I think that the break-even point for an average family is around £40,000 per year.

If you earn less than this then (on average) you receive more in tax credits and benefits than you pay in.

This x 100

I actually pretty horrified she gets this. My student son would love £60 a week from the government.

£100 a week? My god. Myself, husband and 2 kids don't have that once bills are all paid. And we both work. If I can manage to feed and clothe the 4 of us on less, your daughter can easily manage on £60.

Get in the real world.

But OP it doesn’t sound like more money would help her get out more independently. It sounds like she is unable to do that because of her mental health, not because of financial restrictions.

You need to help her talk to a GP and organise a diagnosis and PIP etc. She might benefit from art therapy for example?

She obviously can’t live the rest of her life like this, and you enabling her to isn’t helping her

Yeah its awful. I got £900 a month benefits for me and 2 kids when i was out of work. My mortgage is £580 and council tax is £92. We lived on nothing. Everything bounced.

I hope she is ok and gets the support she needs. Im sorry its so difficult Xxx

Why haven't you applied for PIP?
Why haven't you taken her to see the GP, together?

@alphapie , no they mean unless you are a higher rate tax payer you shouldn't be concerned about the taxes you pay and what they are spent on as you will take out more than you pay in!

You might have said OP but is she is a care leaver? Was she referred to adult services and if so by who, what team is she open to the MH service or LD or ASD services?

Is it a social worker she has or a personal advisor from a leaving care team?

Did her attacker get convicted and did she get a CICA award and if so what did she do with the money?

Complete agree with this - some of these comments are awful

Could someone please explain why this is the governments fault? The fault is not accessing GP/health services to go through the correct procedure to get the correct help.

If the government dished out benefits to anyone who asked for them for whatever reason we'd have cause for complaint.

She doesn't even need to "go" to the GP.
They can book a video appointment and mum can sit next to her and do a lot off the talking if DD is unable to.

Get her off her mobile phone. Get her off social media. Get out walking. Fresh air. Get her a hobby. She needs to take responsibility for herself and get on with it. Stop moping about. Pull her socks up.

Thank god we weren't going into WW2 with the state of play of young people of today.

Take a leaf from poor @georgarina post up above. She went through an awful life event and look at her - doing amazing. Through her own effort and determination. I have huge admiration for anyone who does that.

Take positive steps to sort out this anxiety. Which the first thing would be to get off social media!

It’s ridiculous. With the cost of food up and gas/ electricity benefits need to rise as well. They probably won’t and people will need to decide whether to heat or eat in winter. I’ve actually worked with people on benefits and the government schemes are so hostile and difficult to manage for the most vulnerable in our society, then the media works to encourage benefit bashing. It’s no wonder people

If you lived alone with £60 per week-

Current average gas and electric weekly bill for 1 bedroom place is £20
Minimum to buy food, toiletries and cleaning products £30
Return bus travel to supermarket twice a month (free in Scotland for under 22) £8
Phone contract £2.50

And you’re already over. That assumes you’re already set up in a home with all the possessions you need and you don’t need to top up your rent. Nothing to save for a broken washing machine, hair cut, Christmas presents for family, new shoes or underwear when yours have holes, tv licence or any kind of tv subscription etc etc

My dd went through huge anxiety and depression when her boyfriend left her, it's hard for young people already with mental health issues. She was hospitalised at one point due to not eating. That said my dd didn't claim benefits, she was capable of working physically so we helped her find work she could do from her bedroom. As hard as it is, working would help

You really are contradicting yourself.

She's too anxious to go out of the house, even visit the GP and get a job, but she's perfectly fine to go on a night out and socialise? It sounds like she's having you on, if I'm honest.

£60 'disposable income' is perfectly enough. That's what a lot of working adults have per week to live on, feed families etc. I'm sure they'd love a night out or a holiday.

Don't be utterly ridiculous.