Uncle borrowed £1000 when I was 16 and never paid me back

[badbaduncle]

I am interested to hear views on this.

When I was little I was very close to 1 particular Uncle and used to 'help' him in his shop every weekend - making him tea and bringing his lunch, counting change etc, I loved it. I got a part time job when I was 14 and saved very hard aiming to buy a car when I was 17. Aged 16 DU came to me and asked to 'borrow' £1000 to bridge a loan so he could get a mortgage. I was very hesitant and asked DM and DF who said it was up to me but that on balance they thought it was a kind thing to do because he was never going to buy a house any other way. So I did.

He said he would pay it back 6 months later. I'm now in my 40s and he's never paid a penny. I asked approx 10 times between ages 18 and 25, quite insistently but with no back up from parents or anyone. DM said it was 'just money' and not worth upsetting the family for.

When I had my own DC I realised that I would never let anyone steal from them and exploit them. We've also struggled financially with no loans or help from anyone! I just find it really shocking that he would steal from his niece and that the wider family chose to ignore it.

I now ignore Uncle at any family occasions and am considered rude and it is commented on.
AIBU to think that it is fine to ignore him and when I am told I a rude and pressed on why and tell people he stole £1000 from me when I was 16?

I'm not sure what the law is on this. Someone under 18 can't borrow money, because they can't enter into a contract. But, if they're incapable of entering into a contract to borrow money, they are equally incapable into entering into a contract to lend money to someone else.

Your best bet would be to consult a solicitor. Obviously the person you lent money to was over 18 - but you need a solicitor to confirm whether the fact you were underage means that technically he couldn't have "borrowed" the money at all.

My advice would be either go down the legal route and try to pursue him through the courts - in which case your family will find out the whole story - or just accept the money is gone and move on with your life.

I'm mid 40s now. I don't think there's any point in going down a legal route but thinking about his will, I could speak to his DC who are lovely

Similar situation- we were ‘told’ by DH parents to lend his brother £5,000 as he had run up a huge ( 10’s of thousands) credit card bill and was severely depressed - his new wife liked champagne lifestyle whilst they both had lemonade money.
It was made clear it was a loan- 10 years down the line, he’s never once talked about paying it back, DH parents are currently boasting about him and his recent holiday in Dubai- a treat for his wife’s 50th, they’re still champagne lifestyle.
DH under pressure from me mentioned to his parents he hasn’t paid a penny back - they said oh - that was it oh, and DH was told not to mention it as it might upset him

It was awful at the time and no one should borrow money from a 16 year old especially that amount. I do think you should let it go though as if you are in your 40s and he hasn’t made any attempt to pay it back, you’re not likely to ever get it. People are probably covering it up as it’s awkward and embarrassing.

My eldest cousin actually visited DM when I was living abroad for a year (he lives abroad and was in the UK for a rare trip) and said he wanted to pay me back and could afford it etc. But DM refused because he thought he was "being sly and trying to get one over his dad" I was really struggling at that point and working 3 jobs, it was horrendous.

We realise we’re not going to get it back, but god does it give me the rage when I think about it

I have an aunt who still owes my parents money from about 10 years back. A couple of thousand. When they asked for it when they hit a particularly difficult time healthwise she just said they had plenty and didn't need 'her' money.

That's outrageous. £1k is a large sum for a teenager, especially all those years ago, I'd be shaming him into repayment.

That £1000 is now worth approx £2250 due to inflation.

I would be insisting on getting it back.

What a scumbag.

I totally understand why you blank him, he shoukd be ashaned of himself.

Why the fuck was it up to your mum to decline on your behalf?!!
She needs a good talking to.

And no offence but your parents aren't much better.

Both your parents and your Uncle are a disgrace.

I am so sorry.

That is worth about £1,600 today.

I think you should ask for it back.

With family like yours who needs enemies.

I’d upset him, a lot. Cheeky sods, him and his parents. I’d remind him constantly that he still owes me £5k with interest. So when are you going to pay me back bro?

I just did a calculator thing and I thought it seemed very low.

Your figure seems more realistic.

Mind you, a thousand invested in property as your money was 25 years ago might have trebled/quadrupled in value.

Your mother has a strange attitude to money!

If this was me, my parents would have sent the uncle away with a flea in his ear and probably would have cut contact with him.

Absolutely shocking attitude from your DM.

Please, please take him to a small claims court, you will 100% win. He's profited by thousands from that loan considering he used it to by a house. Now is the best time to get it back as it will help you with the cost of living crisis and hopefully he will feel it more than he would've done a few years ago.

This is awful. What a horrible man and can’t believe your parents haven’t supported you.

shame him to all the family at every opportunity. That could be money for your children or towards a family holiday 🤬

So what happens when you're with the other family members and tell them why you're ignoring your uncle?

I love that..."sunlight is the best disinfectant".

I’m so angry on your behalf. That’s disgraceful.

Tell everyone what he did!
That would make me so angry.

It's probably more as the BOE calculator only goes up to 2021 and there has been a huge rise in inflation this year.

As other's have pointed out £1000 invested in property 30 years ago would be worth a hell of a lot more.

Small claims court maybe? If you have evidence of the original transaction you might be able to prove it.

Unfortunately the op would not win. Statue of limitations for debt is 6 years and this is way past that plus I suspect that there are no contemptuous written records confirming the debt so the op wouldn't have the proof.