To think that toddlers don’t need screens when they’re out and about?

[anotherscroller]

From the other “things you find rude and others don’t” thread, but it’s quite a big one so I thought it could have its own thread.

Here goes:
People who give their toddlers (let’s say 18 months to age 4) tablets/phones to watch tv on in public during incredibly short interludes of time.
e.g. A train journey of less than an hour, a bus ride, while they’re ordering coffee at a café, at the bus stop. While they’re in their buggy being driven back from nursery! That one blows my mind.
If it’s a long haul flight I do it myself, but I think such young children don’t need a screen entertaining them the whole time. AIBU? They are interested in trees, ants, the contents of your bag, playing beekaboo with your sun hat, everything. Watching the world go by.
EXCEPTION: Unless they have, or their caregivers has, a health condition that requires it, makes life easier, make life worth living..

Why do I find it rude?
In the same why I find anything where people are shutting themselves off from other people in public and not being aware of others. Even with headphones on. With toddlers, as an adult with my own toddler, I feel like they and people around them are being deprived of the opportunity to “be present” together. My toddler always wants to be curious about a child on the next table, show them her teddy, or something, and nine times out of ten they can’t because said child is completely lobotomised in front of an iPad.
i think part of being a parent is creatively keeping small children occupied during a waiting time.
i think part of being a child is learning how to be ok with boredom or waiting time, and not constantly having flashy tv to watch.
AIBU?

@lavenderfine i was actually talking about the child watching stuff, not doing puzzles etc on an iPad (which I believe is different, especially if the caregiver is interacting with the child doing the puzzle or drawing?)
to clarify, it’s not an anti-technology rant! I work in tech so love it as much as the next person.

Because the children who don’t benefit from screen use in the same way (incidentally the majority)

Where's your data on this? Or did you just pull this statistic from your imagination?

You speak so sanctimoniously and set you argument out as bullet points, while at the same time saying you know nothing.

Maybe if you know nothing you should just quietly keep your opinions to yourself and be open about the differing needs of others.

Screens are absolutely vital to a lot of people. My friend's son speaks to her through a screen because it's the only way he can speak. He's 4.

Yep.

Maybe it keeps the kid awake instead of falling asleep and missing dinner then not going to bed on time and having a shit nights sleep then being mardy all the next day?

If kid is using the ipad for colouring, surely it depends on how they are doing it, if they are just using their finger it is not the same skill

@unicormb
Yes my son is non speaking too and I'm looking at AAC for him.

My toddler always wants to be curious about a child on the next table, show them her teddy, or something, and nine times out of ten they can’t because said child is completely lobotomised in front of an iPad.

Maybe we don't want your kid disrupting our downtime.

Here is some of the evidence, for the person who posted above saying where’s your proof.

(the reason why I used bullet points but said I don’t know it because I was trying to summarise what others have said).

I won’t post on this thread again.

Good. 😀

Byeeeee

Using your screen to flounce 😀

I'm against screen time for my kids as much as possible, but I am also only human.

I have given a phone to an 18month old in a pushchair. She had been screaming throughout the entire supermarket shop/checkout/start of walk home despite every effort to find out what was wrong/calm her, and it was the last desperate act of a woman who just needed to get home.

I gave my phone to a 3 year old at the weekend during children's entertainment - his sister was loving it but he was not and kicking off and it was the only way I could keep him from ruining it for the other children (if it had just been him I would have left).

My school age four year old also had maths homework that HAD to be done on a phone or tablet (schools choice, not mine), so sometimes we were doing that while taking another child swimming/or grocery shopping etc.

I'm sure every parent you see with a child with a screen has their own reasons.

I'm not so sure it's rude, but I do tend to think that long term it has negative consequences.

Learning to wait is really important for kids, it has a lot of impacts on things like self-control, brain development. I remember when I was quite young and waiting, Waiting at the supermarket, witing for my mum to pay and putting the amount into her record where she kept the cheques. Waiting and waiting at the bank - I spent a lot of time figuring out how the vertical blinds worked or watching the cars in the parking lot. Waiting at the park.

All time when I was with my own thoughts, making observations about stuff around me that was pretty boring really, people watching. Kids don't do much of any of this any more and I think it may have pretty significant cognitive results.

It isn't actually. It doesn't have the same fine motor elements and it also isn't the same cognitively.

Mangy, yes that's what I meant

Yes, right! I read it to mean the opposite!

I don't let my son use my phone or tablet (yet, there's still time for that to change) at all. However I was walking round the supermarket today with him crying in the trolley and I thought how easy it would be to give him my phone. So I totally get why parents do this
I got him involved putting items in the trolley but he still cried between items..
So I don't judge what others are doing, especially as it doesn't affect me. Toddlers on tablets? Not great if it's all the time but as parents sometimes it's about getting through the day as best you can.

@Harridance I know what you mean about the colouring but he does colour normally at home with pencils and stuff but it's easier to take the screen when out and about so I'm not constantly picking pencils up or trying to find somewhere for him to lean on for him.

It depends on the toddler. To me, this could actually be courteous behaviour...keeping the toddler quiet in a public place after you know the child has reached his/her limits.

Certainly not rubbish. We live in a 3D world which children need to explore and learn early concepts which become the foundation of understanding. There are certain stages of this exploration which roughly correspond with ages. Look how easy it is for children to learn two languages when they’re very very young and how much harder it is when they’re 11+ that’s just an example

there are significant numbers of children who turn up to school who only know to tap and swipe

I find that quite chilling. Not least because it suggests they've never been exposed to books (or not physical books anyway)

I also find this very sad.