Another Kardashian ksurrogacy

[Namingchangeschangingnames]

I guess aibu that all this celebrity surrogacy is problematic?

So khloe’s rep has just confirmed that she’s having another baby with Tristan v surrogate. Aside from the fact, it’s a pretty dumb decision to knowingly and purposefully bring another child into that incredibly toxic relationship where he has such little respect for her, they’ve used a surrogate.

it just feels like with celebrities these days, they want the child but not the ‘difficulties’ of pregnancy or the ‘damage’ it can do to the body. Especially with the kardashians, khloe’s reasoning for a surrogate is that she could be a ‘high risk pregnancy’ with no further clarification of what that means, not that she owes me an explanation but it’s coming across like ‘pay someone to do the grunt work for me’. I mean both my pregnancies were ‘high risk’ ones because I had growth scans, high risk/ low risk are just to designate the level of care you get.

its not just the Kardashian’s, priyanka chopra did it due to scheduling and there was another can’t recall who, but who basically said she didn’t want to take time out of her career right now for pregnancy, yet can have a baby?

biologically the child is being placed with its mother?

On the show when Khloe went to visit a clinic about surrogacy they asked her how she feel if the surrogate mother became pregnant with twins. Khloe said that was fine, however the doctor pointed out that the surrogate might not want the danger of multiple births and would have the right to legally terminate one of the foetus if so. Khloe was really angry and said it should be up to her - not the ‘gestational carriers.’
She was genuinely enraged the surrogate got a say at all.

It’s been given by the woman who Carried it to its genetic mother. I can’t see anything wrong with that from the child’s perspective.

Tell that to someone heartbroken over being unable to have a child any other way and see if they agree.

Of course they won't agree, doesn't make it any less valid. You can't buy someone's organs to save your life afaik, nevermind a baby.

Interesting point! I mean unfortunately the answer is to fix the insane wealth inequality we have (globally, nationally, locally).

But you’ve kind of hit the nail on the head with the problem. All very well for women who quite like being pregnant (apparently they exist, baffles me how) and/or who carry easily. But for women who don’t like it or for whom it’s dangerous for, it’s terribly that they might feel forced into doing it if it’s the only way they can make decent money.

@KittyCatsby

My children were conceived via donor spermicide due to male infertility. Your post is very offensive

With adoption great care is taken to address the trauma of the baby being separated from the baby's mother. We acknowledge this terrible wound.

Yet with surrogacy, little or no mention of the baby's loss is made.

I'm not on board with it whatever the reason whether you are too lazy/pretty/busy to do the hard bit or it's unfortunate you can't have a baby due to medical reasons or you are a man. Whatever the reason for it you are exploiting a woman to get a baby, that is wrong however you look at it, no matter how much you want a baby.

Good! I’m glad she was affected by that! To know that someone else could make that decision and you’d have no say is hard to take on board, anyone with any sense of emotional intelligence would struggle with that. Finding out during the “exploring surrogacy” time is appropriate. If she’d had that reaction after the surrogate was pregnant then it would be horrendous. Khloe clearly processed that information and came to terms with it (else she wouldn’t have gone ahead surely).

At what point does it become trafficking? 1 month old? You’re buying babies.

I (mostly) disagree with surrogacy but to play devil’s advocate… for women in very poor countries, what do people think is a good alternative for them to make the same money that they could get from being a surrogate to a western couple?

In all the surrogacy cases I've watched and read about involving foreign countries, the poor woman is discarded like a used napkin as soon as the baby is extracted from her body. If anything happened to her, the couple would not care about her health, just what they paid for. If the baby doesn't turn out how they want, it's left behind for a woman in poverty to raise. Some opportunity.

With Lamar? She came out later and said that was all fake and they weren’t really trying because he was on drugs and cheating

Do you think the newborn baby knows that?

But it’s an opportunity that they wouldn’t have access to otherwise. It’s hugely risky but if you had literally zero money, no option to feed yourself or your existing children, you might feel like it’s a risk worth taking

This discussion reminds me a lot of the conversations around child brides and desperate people in very poor countries who feel like they have to take this option because otherwise the rest of the family will starve to death. It’s so easy to say “I’d never ever do that!” but we are all so lucky to never have to be in the position to need to make that choice

The vast majority of people who use surrogates are couple experiencing infertility, people unable to give birth due to medical reasons, gay male couples, trans people, single males.
Some celebrities fall in to the above categories, but they are the minority.
Many celebrities adopt too, not just Madonna and Angelina, but Sandra Bullock, Meg Ryan, Charlize Theron, Hugh Jackman, Sharon Stone, Cate Blanchett and the list goes on.
According to growingfamilies.org which published a report on the surrogacy market around the world, in the US there are about 1000 surrogacy births each year and surprisingly 19% were military wives!

Yeah, she just pretended she was having problems conceiving for sympathy and a storyline.
She could’ve easily just said her and Lamar weren’t ready for kids just yet if anyone asked.

I’ve always been confused as to why some people have such an issue with surrogacy, but you’ve put it very well here and I now get it.

Yes actually, my second pregnancy I went to pregnancy yoga and there was a surrogate and mother in one of the classes, the instructor ran different locations and they were in my area once to attended that one instead of their usual.

bio mother had cancer and a complete hysterectomy and surrogate was a life long bff since childhood who had already completed her family and offered. The surrogate did struggle with all the complications of pregnancy and post birth being without a baby she bonded with, but for all of that I have less of an ethical issue as she wasn’t being paid in a ‘rent a womb’ style for someone who can’t be arsed to carry their own child

The rise in social surrogacy means a parallel rise in a breeder class of woman, breeding babies for the elite. Not sure how anyone could think that's a great career choice.

www.huckmag.com/perspectives/is-the-rise-of-surrogacy-deepening-class-divides/

Madonna didn't buy her younger children. She legally adopted them. They had lost their birth mothers so no exploitation took place

This is a lie. At least 3 of the children she adopted have parents. The father of the twin girls didn't even realise the adoption was permanent.
In Malawi it's not unusual for a parents to place children in orphanages because they are too poor to look after them. Usually these children return to their parents when adults. There was massive cristisism from chidlrens rights charities in Malawi at the time. The residence requirement was also waived for Madonna.

But it’s an opportunity that they wouldn’t have access to otherwise. It’s hugely risky but if you had literally zero money, no option to feed yourself or your existing children, you might feel like it’s a risk worth taking

I know what you're saying, but it's really a terrible idea, not just tor her, but the child's outcomes too. There are some ways of making money that we don't allow because it's not in people's best interests (selling your kidney, prostitution).

It's from desperation. Maybe if this argument was applied to surrogacy in the UK, it might have a greater standing but using a woman from a pot country is absolutely scummy.

I completely disagree with surrogacy. It’s the exploitation of a woman’s body at huge risk for the benefit of a better off person. It’s vile.

Its also cruel to the baby, taking it away from the only mother it’s ever known. There’s no consideration given to the birth mother or the baby.

The kardashians are awful, AWFUL people

Was actually the other way around.
hilary lost a baby girl 4 months into pregnancy.
she got pregnant again, this time with a boy.
she said the other kids “craved” for a girl.
lo and behold, surrogate carries a girl.

there is 5 months between these two.

i feel sorry for the boy.

Exactly! And that right there sums celeb surrogacy up for me in 95% cases. She didn’t care if it would endanger her ‘gestational carrier’s’ life or bring her more complications she should be a womb without a bench godammit and allowed no say over her body

I also know someone who had a baby by surrogate in a developing country which has since banned the practice.
The surrogates had to live separately from their families in the surrogacy facility while pregnant with just weekly visits from their families. Whether this was to monitor their health or to stop marital sex is unclear - the Westeners got the ick over that idea apparently. It’s strange that this was a problem but not the actual carrying.

None of it sat well with me.