Another Kardashian ksurrogacy

[Namingchangeschangingnames]

I guess aibu that all this celebrity surrogacy is problematic?

So khloe’s rep has just confirmed that she’s having another baby with Tristan v surrogate. Aside from the fact, it’s a pretty dumb decision to knowingly and purposefully bring another child into that incredibly toxic relationship where he has such little respect for her, they’ve used a surrogate.

it just feels like with celebrities these days, they want the child but not the ‘difficulties’ of pregnancy or the ‘damage’ it can do to the body. Especially with the kardashians, khloe’s reasoning for a surrogate is that she could be a ‘high risk pregnancy’ with no further clarification of what that means, not that she owes me an explanation but it’s coming across like ‘pay someone to do the grunt work for me’. I mean both my pregnancies were ‘high risk’ ones because I had growth scans, high risk/ low risk are just to designate the level of care you get.

its not just the Kardashian’s, priyanka chopra did it due to scheduling and there was another can’t recall who, but who basically said she didn’t want to take time out of her career right now for pregnancy, yet can have a baby?

Madonna *

They are a disgusting family.

And no doubt the baby will be a boy too. All the celebrities seem to miraculously have a boy and girl when born through IVF and surrogacy. Khloe will have even dictated that. Rent a womb, design a baby…

Aside from the surrogacy, any child born into that toxic, dysfunctional family is going to grow up with serious issues. I pity that baby.

And as for the “father”, did he really give his sample to impregnate the surrogate, just weeks before yet another woman gave birth to his baby? I actually have no words….

You can’t regulate for risky pregnancies, traumatic births or mental/physical injuries.

For money (if he knew he was facing a large child support claim/lawyer fees) he’s in a strong bargaining position money wise for his sperm if she wants a full sibling.
Or sample given when first child younger and on better terms?
Who knows. Such a murky world.

They aren’t tight enough. There is a huge amount of leeway for “expenses”.

I don't like surrogacy for all of the reasons listed but struggle when friends / acquaintances tell me about their personal circumstances. One would be a surrogate for her sister who had a hysterectomy at age 20 after cancer. Another would be a surrogate for her sister who can't seem to carry a pregnancy. I'm struggling with fertility. I just think that's bad luck but if a good friend offered to be my surrogate should I say no? (I think I would) How do I square my thinking here with genuinely altruistic surrogacy?

@KittyCatsby truly, you should be ashamed of yourself.

She'll have made sure it's a boy too. Her reaction to having a girl before was shocking. True barely knows Prince and they're all having nothing to do with Theo (I think that's his name). All this to make sure your kids have the same dad (when her mum has a minimum of 2 too). She just looks like a selfish fool.

It makes me smile to see Jordyn doing well though. And Jordy.

No, Madonna is his actual parent, not his birth parent. I’m well aware of the differences, its fairly common where I am from, it doesn’t mean birth parents should have the ability to constantly change their mind or to treat the child as a commodity that can be dumped when convenient.

Did she not admit that her fertility issues with Lamar were made up? She knew it was an unhealthy relationship and didn't want to bring a child into it so she stayed on the pill even though Lamar thought they were trying to conceive.

@KittyCatsby

I am adopted and I do understand where you're coming from. Yes, my adoptive parents have taken on the role of my legal parents and for all intents and purposes are my parents. But they aren't my biological parents, and I think that's what I mean when I say my "real" parents. I mean the people who actually made me, share DNA with me, my genetic history etc. It doesn't mean I value my adoptive family any less, but a family tree made just using my adoptive parents doesn't feel "real" to me, because it's not true to my genetics. I could have actual biological relations out there I'd like to map, and I'd like to map my biological history on a family tree on say Ancestry, but I can't. I love my adoptive parents, nothing changes that, but yes, I do feel like my real relatives are those I'm biologically connected to.

There are many rumours over how Madonna obtained her children. I remember reading from one of her adopted child’s families, who said they never expected her to be adopted and that they wanted her to be either them. Madonna may be her parent now, but should that situation have been allowed to happen. It’s not a case of the birth parent or birth parent family changing their mind if they never really properly agreed in the first place. Poor people are open to be exploited by rich people with shit hot lawyers.

Yes, apparently rather than telling her husband that she didn’t think it was the right time to try for a child due to his drug use and other issues in their marriage, she pretended to try and get pregnant - but secretly took the pill.
To go one further she then documented her ‘terrible, sad struggle to get pregnant’ on the TV show, in order to garner public sympathy.

Adoption laws are very different in Malawi not to mention the culture about use of orphanages which don't even exist in the U.K.
Madonna (and other celebrities who did the same) makes me mad, swooping in and basically buying babies two at a time.

Friends adopted siblings (uk) age 2&3, who's history was obviously difficult, not for nothing were they removed from their birth mother. My friends bust a gut to settle those children and give them security, the wife gave up her work (teaching - she eked out a little with home tutoring), they worked on a secure routine, change of diet from junk to healthy - which obviously couldn't be achieved overnight, it was a year before they felt the children would feel safe in the care of a close family member for a few hours, they never left them for a whole year.
Madonna collects more babies than she can possibly care for, uproots them and dumps them on nannies.

Anyway the fashion for celebrities and their overseas adoptions has been overtaken by simply buying babies via surrogacy. What an improvement.

*whose

They will literally lie and exploit with no boundaries to get what they want or be seen how they want to be seen. I just see an utterly repulsive family.

what a stupid women she really is and he is foolish too what is he wanting more children he can’t seem to be a father to those he has

ridiculous family anything for headlines

i don’t know. We’re saying women can decide for themselves if they can have abortions but not decide if they can be surrogates. I feel very ick about womens bodies being a commodity but also the whole she should carry it herself if she can thing reeks of martyrdom and the same old ‘women should’ things we hear all the time like she if she’s going to have a baby she should look after their own child and not Hire childcare.

men can have a baby and it not effect their career or really be inconvenienced in many ways at all if they don’t want. So this whole thing that women ‘should’ be doing this or that or putting up with this or that or accept these are the consequences of having a baby seems a bit much.
i don’t know that surrogacy is something I agree with, but I don’t disagree with it on the grounds most people seem to be stating

@Lovelycheese you may be interested in this podcast.

podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/at-your-cervix/id1530617581?i=1000527762344

I listened to a podcast of a woman discussing her surrogacy journey as she carried a baby for her sister who had needed a hysterectomy for cancer of the cervix.
Undoubtedly she is proud of what she has done for her sister and is delighted to see her sister be a mother at last. Asked if she would do it again she says “I would never take back what I’ve done but I don’t think I could do it again….the emotional, the mental strain, the anxiety of the pregnancy was very, very challenging”. “Florence is always going to be in our lives, she’s always going to be very special to our family, but it would be a very difficult thing to do for a friend, or someone you didn’t know.”

As she discussed her surrogacy journey, she repeatedly mentions how difficult it was, how challenging….”it was as if my body knew it wasn’t my genetics, from the beginning”. “I had been morning sick in my own pregnancies, but nothing as to how sick I was with my niece. I was vomiting every day, I had migraines, I was just so sick”. ”It was much more challenging, in my own pregnancies I’ve never really experienced prenatal anxiety.” “Anxiety in pregnancy floored me”.

She had weekly counselling throughout the pregnancy.

As her due date approached there were concerns around delivery - having schooled herself to be detached from the baby she said “I was so detached, in my head I thought How was I going to deliver a baby I was so detached from?….It’s very hard to deliver someone else's baby”.

She begged for an elective LSCS but, having had two vaginal deliveries previously hospital policy would not allow this social LSCS.

After her waters broke at 36 weeks she was induced.
Despite two days of attempted induction her body wouldn’t co-operate, after the first day she told the team caring for her “You’ve actually broken me, how can you possibly expect me to get up and be induced again”.
With her body shut down it's not surprising she ended up having an emergency LSCS.

Reflecting on the experience she explained she became pregnant again just three months after the delivery, not something that is recommended - She mused “When someone asked me about my attachment to Florence I started to reflect that I was actually attached to a third baby that I don’t have yet. I think I was attaching to this baby in my pregnancy with Florence and then, my body must have wanted this fourth pregnancy so much, I think my body just wanted this so bad.”

As she said, “in terms of the physical side of it now my body has had four pregnancies which takes a toll on the body” and of course a second LSCS.

You are right to have second thoughts. Yes the woman gave birth to her sister's baby and most people would say that is a wonderful thing she did for her sister. But should a loving sister ask so much of her sibling?

i think it’s that she hadn’t known at the time that it would be a permanent thing, i recall reading it’s quite common in some countries to children to be placed in orphanages or ‘sponsored’ by another family because they can’t afford them, there was something around this… his mother hadn’t realised the child was being taken away permanently

I find it interesting there's over 6 pages of responses on this topic.

I haven't seen one mention of Michael Jackson or Christino Ronaldo mentioned.
There wasn't one word of criticism when these guys used a surrogate.

Obviously I am not privy to their situations but its safe to say there was some form of financial transaction involved.
Has anyone ever flared up about the women used in those situations. No!

I am not saying I agree with the behaviour of current celebrities, I just find people are very judgemental when its a woman making the decisions.

Prepare to be Flamed!

I don't agree with renting a womb, and find it sad that surrogacy has been normalised and commercialised.

Tbh I didn’t know either of them had used a surrogate. I’ll have a good grumble about Tan France if you want to even the male/female score though.

@Keha there are no dedicated studies into children via surrogate, the only ones muddle children via surrogate with adoptees which obviously skews the data.

The only comparable is the UKs foster to adopt system which takes a child from its birth mother and given pretty quickly to adoptive parents who have been approved as foster careers first so they can get the child from day 1. This has been proven to be beneficial for these children as it removes the more significant attachment related issues in adoption. So there is absolutely 0 reason to think the same doesn't apply to children delivered via surrogate, in fact their outcomes are most likely even better than F2A children as they usually reside with one biological parent