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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed with guys walking around town topless??

178 replies

Floogal · 13/07/2022 12:21

Whenever the sun comes out you're guaranteed to see a few guys wandering around topless. I'm not a prude, nor do I want to bodyshame anyone. I mean, wear as little as you like on the beach or pool. Just seems arrogant that they believe women or girls are impressed or that other guys are intimidated and jealous

OP posts:
QueSyrahSyrah · 13/07/2022 14:05

Can't say it bothers me but then my local town is right on the beach, so the lines are quite blurred as to where acceptability of beachwear ends and begins. It's not especially unusual to see people around town with bare feet either.

Mally100 · 13/07/2022 14:06

IGotItInTheSales · 13/07/2022 12:22

Are they wanting to impress or intimidate though? Is that what they told you?

This or have you just got in your head and trying to make it a thing? Went to the park over the weekend and women were in barely there bikini's sunbathing, wonder who they were trying to impress. See how silly you sound?

Thegreatestshowoff · 13/07/2022 14:07

It should be illegal, like it is for women.

Discovereads · 13/07/2022 14:09

Thegreatestshowoff · 13/07/2022 14:07

It should be illegal, like it is for women.

No! Last thing we need is Puritanism.

livinthedreamnot · 13/07/2022 14:10

Thegreatestshowoff · 13/07/2022 14:07

It should be illegal, like it is for women.

Came on here to say exactly the same thing...from an equality point of view, why is this still acceptable? Many places will instruct men to cover up in public at least, thankfully!

itsgettingweird · 13/07/2022 14:10

Floogal · 13/07/2022 12:21

Whenever the sun comes out you're guaranteed to see a few guys wandering around topless. I'm not a prude, nor do I want to bodyshame anyone. I mean, wear as little as you like on the beach or pool. Just seems arrogant that they believe women or girls are impressed or that other guys are intimidated and jealous

Seriously?

If a woman or girl were dressed minimally and are accused of being arrogant and dressing in a way people didn't want to see there would be outcry about how woman dressing isn't anyone else's business and they should control themselves.

It's very important we apply those same rules and expectations we have towards men and boys.

Don't look if it bother you but no one should dress any which way to appease your feelings.

Fairislefandango · 13/07/2022 14:11

I don't like it. To use a MN phrase, it 'gives me the ick'. I'm pretty sure none of the men I know personally would do it.

Simonjt · 13/07/2022 14:13

If you’re at the park (not play park) its fine, but theres no need in shops etc. Plus it actually makes you hotter than wearing a loose top.

littlepeas · 13/07/2022 14:16

Getoff · 13/07/2022 13:44

In Australia and NZ you’re told to wear a t shirt and hat in the sun.

Presumably that's to reduce skin cancer, not because being covered up makes you feel cooler.

Although my FIL once tried to explain to me why Arab clothing (full body covering) is cooler than wearing less. It may well be true, but I need a better explanation to understand why.

I think it’s about keeping the sun off you full stop, for a multitude of reasons - sun stroke as well as cancer. People from cooler countries act like idiots in the sun - best to stay out of it in the peak and cover up in loose clothing when you are in it. I don’t know about every hot country but Spain and Italy definitely gear up their lifestyles around the sun - the siesta and a later evening culture. And in Japan they don’t go out in the sun at all and use parasols when they do - beautiful beaches completely deserted in summer.

gogohmm · 13/07/2022 14:16

If it's ok for guys ti be topless, then can a wear my bikini top around town? No I'd get stared at or people would comment because I'm not young and stick thin, but fat men do ... double standards. Shirts on is a reasonable request in public unless at the beach/pool/park

ferneytorro · 13/07/2022 14:16

It’s to get a tan isn’t it I do t think they are actually hot. But agree yes it’s awful. My dad used to do it and I’d be mortified.

fluffyducky21 · 13/07/2022 14:17

Suns oot,taps aff.
Fine in an appropriate location like the beach,garden or lido but definitely not in shopping centres or strolling along the local crowded high street.

roarfeckingroarr · 13/07/2022 14:17

It's grim. Shows a lack of class.

heartbroken22 · 13/07/2022 14:18

Agree shows a lack of class.

Agrudge · 13/07/2022 14:19

Thegreatestshowoff · 13/07/2022 14:07

It should be illegal, like it is for women.

Can you link anywhere where it says its illegal for woman?

girlfriend44 · 13/07/2022 14:21

Sartre · 13/07/2022 12:55

It’s totally grim and it always seems to be guys who don’t work out so definitely don’t have bodies worth showing off… The middle aged guy across the road from us does it all of the time. He’s easily nearing 50 and is not attractive yet he does things like cleaning his car in his driveway for 3 hours shirtless like we all want to see his sweaty hairy moobs.

how do we know he dosent think similar thoughts about you though.

It really isnt first world problems is it?

DillAte · 13/07/2022 14:21

Thegreatestshowoff · 13/07/2022 14:07

It should be illegal, like it is for women.

Someone tried to start parliamentary petition to make being topless legal for women a few years ago. It got thrown out because it's not actually illegal in the UK. Common misconception.

CoalCraft · 13/07/2022 14:26

Weird take. If I could walk around in public topless without causing a scene I would because it's nice to be topless in hot weather. Yes it's unfair that men can and women can't, but the solution is to normalise it for women, not shame men!

Why on earth would you assume it's to show off or intimidate? I don't think my plump old granddad had either of those things in mind when he sat on a picnic blanket in the park.

tobee · 13/07/2022 14:28

It's when things start dripping that bothers me.

StrangeCondition · 13/07/2022 14:29

I hate this on holiday, I hate how people (men & women) come into restaurants in their swimwear or topless whilst you're eating, or reaching for something in a shop standing right next to you so you almost get a mouthful of chest. I read about somewhere in Italy banning people wearing swimwear/topless whilst walking around the town/shops/restaurants, I wholeheartedly support this

firef1y · 13/07/2022 14:30

Sillystripytail · 13/07/2022 12:34

The double standards of this annoys me every time I see a man walking around topless. Women would be asked to cover up if we did the same. The police would probably be called.

In fact, I follow someone on Instagram who did an underwear shoot in the street and the police were called. What's the difference?

I mean we don't even have to be top less to get the comments. I train/run in crop top and shorts, both in the gym and out. Had a few comments on how I should put a top on. Sorry but I'm more comfortable with as little clothing on as possible (I am however autistic and don't like the feeling of clothing on my skin, if I'm wearing leggings then everyone knows it's really cold)

MintyGreenDreams · 13/07/2022 14:31

When I worked in a gp surgery men used to come in topless to see the Dr! I mean who wants to see armpit hair and sweat from across a table at work urgh.

Harridance · 13/07/2022 14:32

It doesn't particularly bother me, but yes it is more palatable to look at if they have good bodies

FabFitFifties · 13/07/2022 14:33

Womenandwomenfirst · 13/07/2022 12:28

It’s yuck.

I always remember the time when dsis felt something furry on her arm whilst browsing the magazines in WH Smith. She squealed when realising that it was a hairy chest 🤣

That's cheered me up no end 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Squidthing · 13/07/2022 14:37

I agree, it's minging.