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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fed up of seeing Bars in people's gardens?

464 replies

Mybumlooksbig · 12/07/2022 22:23

Anyone else think they are as tacky as hell 🤢

YABU- let people do what they want in their gardens
YANBU- I agree, chavvy AF

Fed up of seeing Bars in people's gardens?
OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
HereIAmBrainTheSizeOfAPlanet · 13/07/2022 22:23

antelopevalley · 13/07/2022 22:16

White goods? Do the middle and upper class not have fridges, freezers, washing machines and dishwashers?

They mean old white goods in the garden.

Summersolargirl · 13/07/2022 22:24

HereIAmBrainTheSizeOfAPlanet · 13/07/2022 22:23

They mean old white goods in the garden.

Are you sure, becayse that doesn’t tie with Audis?

DaisyStPatience · 13/07/2022 22:36

MeljustMel · 13/07/2022 21:02

I literally joined today and honestly, there is some pure poison being spouted here. If people said something about race, religion, disability, gender, sexuality and such like, it would be pounced upon. But the comments about class and playground-style teasing have been just nasty.

There are many people who are successful who came from the working classes. Do those who are looking down their nose at others know their own family history? I'm thinking of some celebrities who discover that their distant relatives were in workhouses. And yet, here many people are, scoffing at people who are making the best of what they have. Some of whom have not been privileged in life, others who are managing mental illness, struggling through lockdown, trying to improve and enjoy their space. THEIR space.

I'm gobsmacked. Is this what you are like? Would you say this nasty, judgemental garbage to someone's face? If not, why is it okay to say it on here?

Look at your own affairs and examine the way you are expressing your vile thoughts with no consideration of others' feelings.

On balance, there are some people who are trying to be nice and fair. And those who have been brave enough to admit they have a bar.

There are others who are hurt and offended, myself included. I am hurt for others, not myself because people do things for a reason and to label a behaviour is shallow without understanding the why. If you dig deeper, every single bar owner will have a story that will be interesting. It's THEIR story and you are just writing them off!

I have some very eclectic neighbours. I've been living next door to a jungle for four years and the man recently passed away. That wasn't nice to live next to, especially as I couldn't physically help because I'm disabled. Others tried to say nasty things but it wasn't right. This man served in the navy and obviously needed help.

Another neighbour has a gypsy caravan and another has plastic plants that they're proud of. But you know what, they are their gardens, their heritage, their budget and these things are an expression of something many of you are missing. Hardly anyone has relayed a nice reason as to why there are these bars. Family & community, hobbies and mental well-being, craftsmanship, some may even be housebound and are being creative with their space.

Instead, words like tacky and chav have been thrown around flippantly and this is narrow-minded and mean.

I'm not going to stay around. I am appalled and don't want to be around this type of forum.

But to those of you who were courteous and open-minded, I thank you for not lowering yourselves to such mean-spiritedness. Thank you for your bravery in the face of hostility and for defending your bars! Enjoy!

Peace and love.

You're not a titty, nobody cares if you bounce

AnnaFF · 13/07/2022 23:35

I see OP hasn't been back. Hopefully realised what a complete idiot they are for starting such a twatty thread.

Life is very short and I can't believe people spend time judging other people. Just live your life. You are going to die pretty soon. Don't be nosey what other people are doing. You sad fuckers.

Willyoujustbequiet · 14/07/2022 00:16

I'm a bit of a snob but a family member has one and its fabulous - beautifully done with tap beers, fantastic memorabilia from around the world. It's the polar opposite of chavvy.

I'm jealous and intend to have one as soon as I win the lottery.

WalkingOnTheCracks · 14/07/2022 06:07

MeljustMel · 13/07/2022 21:02

I literally joined today and honestly, there is some pure poison being spouted here. If people said something about race, religion, disability, gender, sexuality and such like, it would be pounced upon. But the comments about class and playground-style teasing have been just nasty.

There are many people who are successful who came from the working classes. Do those who are looking down their nose at others know their own family history? I'm thinking of some celebrities who discover that their distant relatives were in workhouses. And yet, here many people are, scoffing at people who are making the best of what they have. Some of whom have not been privileged in life, others who are managing mental illness, struggling through lockdown, trying to improve and enjoy their space. THEIR space.

I'm gobsmacked. Is this what you are like? Would you say this nasty, judgemental garbage to someone's face? If not, why is it okay to say it on here?

Look at your own affairs and examine the way you are expressing your vile thoughts with no consideration of others' feelings.

On balance, there are some people who are trying to be nice and fair. And those who have been brave enough to admit they have a bar.

There are others who are hurt and offended, myself included. I am hurt for others, not myself because people do things for a reason and to label a behaviour is shallow without understanding the why. If you dig deeper, every single bar owner will have a story that will be interesting. It's THEIR story and you are just writing them off!

I have some very eclectic neighbours. I've been living next door to a jungle for four years and the man recently passed away. That wasn't nice to live next to, especially as I couldn't physically help because I'm disabled. Others tried to say nasty things but it wasn't right. This man served in the navy and obviously needed help.

Another neighbour has a gypsy caravan and another has plastic plants that they're proud of. But you know what, they are their gardens, their heritage, their budget and these things are an expression of something many of you are missing. Hardly anyone has relayed a nice reason as to why there are these bars. Family & community, hobbies and mental well-being, craftsmanship, some may even be housebound and are being creative with their space.

Instead, words like tacky and chav have been thrown around flippantly and this is narrow-minded and mean.

I'm not going to stay around. I am appalled and don't want to be around this type of forum.

But to those of you who were courteous and open-minded, I thank you for not lowering yourselves to such mean-spiritedness. Thank you for your bravery in the face of hostility and for defending your bars! Enjoy!

Peace and love.

As you say, ‘flippantly’. That’s the important word in your post.

ArchitectBarbie · 14/07/2022 07:06

AnnaFF · 13/07/2022 23:35

I see OP hasn't been back. Hopefully realised what a complete idiot they are for starting such a twatty thread.

Life is very short and I can't believe people spend time judging other people. Just live your life. You are going to die pretty soon. Don't be nosey what other people are doing. You sad fuckers.

There have been a few of these threads recently. Specifically posted to cause upset and then they end up in the papers.

A shitty excuse for journalism or a coincidence? No idea

Seymour5 · 14/07/2022 08:25

Working class doesn’t mean tacky. Affluence doesn’t mean tacky either. Enormous TV in a tiny living room is tacky. Stupidly souped up bangers are tacky. Huge unnatural lips are tacky. Going to the local paper about a child being in trouble at school for having a ridiculous hair cut, false nails etc is tacky. Having a bar in a garden may be pleasant, even tasteful, but its the associated behaviour that worries people.

Neighbour noise is a huge issue, often preventing people from the quiet use of their home and garden.

ReneBumsWombats · 14/07/2022 08:50

Enormous TV in a tiny living room is tacky.

How about an enormous TV in an enormous living room?

isthismylifenow · 14/07/2022 09:10

isthismylifenow · 13/07/2022 17:52

I have learnt a few things from this thread.
😂

And the schooling continues....

Driving an Audi is frowned upon????

For goodness sakes, this is ridiculous.

ReneBumsWombats · 14/07/2022 09:14

isthismylifenow · 14/07/2022 09:10

And the schooling continues....

Driving an Audi is frowned upon????

For goodness sakes, this is ridiculous.

Audis have a reputation.

Although I once saw a child driving a mini toy Audi around the park. I said "Blimmin' Audi drivers!" to the parents and they laughed.

the80sweregreat · 14/07/2022 09:20

Audi's are very popular where I live and range rovers. They are very well built reliable cars. I can't see a problem with them at all. Most cars look the same to me these days anyway but I agree for some they are status symbols.

isthismylifenow · 14/07/2022 11:19

ReneBumsWombats · 14/07/2022 09:14

Audis have a reputation.

Although I once saw a child driving a mini toy Audi around the park. I said "Blimmin' Audi drivers!" to the parents and they laughed.

All Audi's or any particular model? (I am thinking TT for some reason).

I feel I need to know this, as what if I ever decided to move to the UK and needed to do some car shopping.

AryaStarkWolf · 14/07/2022 11:35

devonianBiatch · 13/07/2022 16:02

@HesterShaw1
@AryaStarkWolf
@TheKeatingFive

Anytime :)

Enjoy! Looks great

EatMyHammer · 14/07/2022 15:12

Council house and violent? I’m not sure where you’ve got that from 😆

This thread dropped off my threads I'm on so assumed it was deleted or something and it's appeared back now so that's why I'm only responding now. Have only read to this comment and because I can see there's almost 500 posts on the thread and I will read them but there's probably more correcting me or laughing me like this reply.

I didn't pull it out of thin air, I got it from Google about ten years ago when I googled what it meant after being called "chav scum" when I was at the park with my young nieces and nephews pushing then in the swing etc. I didn't know what it meant so googled and still not sure why someone called me it unless they judged me a single mum to six kids and decided it gave them the right to make comments like that.

Anyway, that's what many of the google search results at that time said it meant, (which will have been like ten years ago) and I've heard others say it's in an acronym for that since, theres also still search results that say that but they're more varied now including the racial slur info, it's also mentioned on a Wikipedia as being widely used as a backronym but also goes into the etymology. I've included some screenshots but there were many others.

Its not a word I use because I've only ever heard it used in a shitty snobby way, I had no idea it was a racial slur though, I'm surprised it's allowed to be used on here, I've never seen people called out for racism when using it and MN don't delete threads and posts using it. If OP used any other racial slur it wouldn't be allowed to stand, is it a case of ignorance and the people using it as an insult so casually don't know they're using a racial slur or that people do know but just don't care and use it anyway.

Fed up of seeing Bars in people's gardens?
Fed up of seeing Bars in people's gardens?
Fed up of seeing Bars in people's gardens?
EatMyHammer · 14/07/2022 15:32

DorothyZbornakIsAQueen · 13/07/2022 07:11

Chav stands for council housed and violent. Used to be used to describe Vikki Pollard type people but I see it more commonly used to mean "common" and/or working class. I don't know what context OP was using it in though

Haha. Chav certainly does not mean working class. Pure snobbery. Not sure if you are aware, but you can be working class and not "common"

I am working class. Ive seen plenty of thread on here that call anything popular among the working classes as chavvy. I don't even think there's anything wrong in being "common" either.

That's what I meant, I've seen it used a lot in that context on here loads, to sneer at or label something as "chavvy" when it's popular with working class or low income people, just one that sticks in my mind is a thread near Xmas calling people who wear pandora bracelets chavs, the men stood with children choosing a charm as lazy and uncaring dads/husbands and then wondering if it's "a class thing", people calling it toy jewellery for children. That type of sneering while calling people chavs is what I see it used as, especially on here, it doesn't mean I agree or like the way it's used. I've had it used against me as an insult and it made me feel stupid and shit because I wasn't smart enough to think of a reply or what it even meant.

Most threads that has "what do you secretly judge people for" will have it used in that context on them. Which is what I meant. I didn't know if OP was using it that context.

Seymour5 · 14/07/2022 15:40

ReneBumsWombats · 14/07/2022 08:50

Enormous TV in a tiny living room is tacky.

How about an enormous TV in an enormous living room?

Fine. Not the same as a room dwarfed by a screen. I have a small living room BTW.

ReneBumsWombats · 14/07/2022 18:39

isthismylifenow · 14/07/2022 11:19

All Audi's or any particular model? (I am thinking TT for some reason).

I feel I need to know this, as what if I ever decided to move to the UK and needed to do some car shopping.

All of them, as far as I'm aware. They do have a reputation, or rather their drivers do. I'm sorry to say that my experience of tailgaters does seem to bear it out.

WalkingOnTheCracks · 14/07/2022 21:01

ReneBumsWombats · 14/07/2022 18:39

All of them, as far as I'm aware. They do have a reputation, or rather their drivers do. I'm sorry to say that my experience of tailgaters does seem to bear it out.

Come on, come on, MN. A bit of decorum here, please....

Generalisations are at best useless and at worst harmful. You can't make sweeping statements that insult or demonise entire swathes of people who may have nothing more in common than the colour of their hair, or their hometown, or their choice of supermarket. It's not fair, it's not logical and it's intellectually lazy.

The thing about Audi drivers, however, isn't like that. Audi drivers are arseholes. All of them. This is objective truth supported by shared experience. That's just the way it is.

Carry on....

ReneBumsWombats · 14/07/2022 21:30

WalkingOnTheCracks · 14/07/2022 21:01

Come on, come on, MN. A bit of decorum here, please....

Generalisations are at best useless and at worst harmful. You can't make sweeping statements that insult or demonise entire swathes of people who may have nothing more in common than the colour of their hair, or their hometown, or their choice of supermarket. It's not fair, it's not logical and it's intellectually lazy.

The thing about Audi drivers, however, isn't like that. Audi drivers are arseholes. All of them. This is objective truth supported by shared experience. That's just the way it is.

Carry on....

A cowboy saunters into a car showroom and says, "Audi."

MissusPongo · 14/07/2022 22:00

Hahahaha

Yerroblemom1923 · 14/07/2022 22:29

I often wonder what comes first? Do you already drive like an aresehole BEFORE getting behind the wheel of an Audi or does it turn people stupid once they enter the car??? Also, I think the fact that most people driving them have nicked them leads to the stigma hence their chavvy status.

Carla2601 · 14/07/2022 23:06

Yerroblemom1923 · 14/07/2022 22:29

I often wonder what comes first? Do you already drive like an aresehole BEFORE getting behind the wheel of an Audi or does it turn people stupid once they enter the car??? Also, I think the fact that most people driving them have nicked them leads to the stigma hence their chavvy status.

most people driving Audis have nicked them?!

and you’re looking down your nose at others?

wow - this really is a whole new level of stupidity

Mellowyellow222 · 14/07/2022 23:08

Yerroblemom1923 · 14/07/2022 22:29

I often wonder what comes first? Do you already drive like an aresehole BEFORE getting behind the wheel of an Audi or does it turn people stupid once they enter the car??? Also, I think the fact that most people driving them have nicked them leads to the stigma hence their chavvy status.

Brilliant - I assume the grammatical errors are deliberate.

Changechangychange · 14/07/2022 23:20

EatMyHammer · 14/07/2022 15:12

Council house and violent? I’m not sure where you’ve got that from 😆

This thread dropped off my threads I'm on so assumed it was deleted or something and it's appeared back now so that's why I'm only responding now. Have only read to this comment and because I can see there's almost 500 posts on the thread and I will read them but there's probably more correcting me or laughing me like this reply.

I didn't pull it out of thin air, I got it from Google about ten years ago when I googled what it meant after being called "chav scum" when I was at the park with my young nieces and nephews pushing then in the swing etc. I didn't know what it meant so googled and still not sure why someone called me it unless they judged me a single mum to six kids and decided it gave them the right to make comments like that.

Anyway, that's what many of the google search results at that time said it meant, (which will have been like ten years ago) and I've heard others say it's in an acronym for that since, theres also still search results that say that but they're more varied now including the racial slur info, it's also mentioned on a Wikipedia as being widely used as a backronym but also goes into the etymology. I've included some screenshots but there were many others.

Its not a word I use because I've only ever heard it used in a shitty snobby way, I had no idea it was a racial slur though, I'm surprised it's allowed to be used on here, I've never seen people called out for racism when using it and MN don't delete threads and posts using it. If OP used any other racial slur it wouldn't be allowed to stand, is it a case of ignorance and the people using it as an insult so casually don't know they're using a racial slur or that people do know but just don't care and use it anyway.

I think quite a lot of people don’t realise - it does get thrown about a lot by newspapers etc in a way that other slurs don’t.

But on the other hand anti-Gypsy/Traveller racism is far more accepted in the UK than other forms of racism. For example any thread on here where Travellers are mentioned descends into hideous racism within about 3 posts.

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