To think this isn't normal?

[skinnylov]

I was at a caravan recently for a few nights with my family and I really could enjoy myself due to the constant thoughts and worries about germs.

The place seemed clean but whenever I was eating I kept picturing how many people had holidayed there previously and thinking about all their germs and dirt. I brought my own plates and cutlery as I have always been funny with that anyways and can't stand the thought of others (except people I know) eating off the same plates etc even if they've been washed. And even then how do I know if they have been washed properly? It makes me feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it.

In the shower I would jump in and quickly clean and back out it would make my fully body shiver and get goosebumps just thinking of other peoples hair, snot and skin down the drain that I physically couldn't be in the shower for more than a couple minutes.

My husband has claimed I ruined the full holiday due to this as I didn't really eat however, I didn't tell him the real reason, would just say I'm not very hungry etc but I think he just knows by now.

The weird thing is at home I am not a clean freak at all. I spend time with my kids over cleaning the house. I really am not a germaphobe it's just in situations where others have been before me I can't stomach.

For instance when we first moved into our house I couldn't eat very well for a few months as I kept thinking about the previous occupants germs and dirt. However, after a few months and once I'd settled in I got over that. However, I refused to have a bath until we got a brand new one as I just couldn't bring myself to bathe somewhere someone else I didn't know had. So I went two years in my house without having a bath and just showering until we got our own one. I bathed a few times but now I can't as I always just think about the dirt and grime that's in the drain and how close I am to them lying in the bath.

I know this isn't normal behaviour but it's not something I feel I neee to get help for as it doesn't impact my day to day life. So I'm just wondering is anyone else the same or knows of anyone else the same? It's puzzling cause I'm really not a germaphobe and am fine at my friends house/parents house etc. It's just buses/hotels/caravans/planes/certain restaurants etc.

No that’s not normal at all

How are you about restaurants or do you never eat out?

It depends if I feel they are clean or not. I could never eat in a fast food place or a Wetherspoons or a brewers fayre or a soft play. But a nicer restaurant that seems clean yes I can.

You really are a germaphobe, albeit somewhat of a different breed. 🙂 Like me!

I hope you're not beating yourself up about it, because I really don't see why it's a problem. I'm very similar to you interms of staying in a rental/Airbnb. My husband and I always clean when we first get there - not maniacally, but just a good once over with cleaning wipes. I don't want to sit on a toilet unless I know it's clean. I wouldn't use a tub anywhere besides my own home for love nor money. Like you, I have no issues at home or at family or friends homes. I think it's just the "stranger" aspect that gives me the ick.

You seem to be a bit more extreme with the plates, cutlery and eating issues, but you are who you are. It bothers you, and you're entitled to feel that way. If the rest of your day to day life is mostly unaffected, and you say it is, I wouldn't be concerned. We all have quirks.

I would be seeking therapy tbh

Not using a bath that’s been cleaned and insisting on a brand new one is not normal.

I wouldn’t say it’s a quirk I’d say it was more than that. And you obviously are a germaphobe in some situations. What happens if your friend or partner want to nip into a cafe that doesn’t meet your exacting standards ? Do you go in and not eat or do you not go in? Your husband must find it pretty tedious if he said you ruined the holiday. I think maybe a therapy might be something to consider.

I would look into something like cbt.

Those symptoms are very similar to ocd with the thoughts meaning you can't rationalise - Eg you don't eat rather than can rationalise and eat.

Cbt can really help with that.

I totally understand.
Whilst I’ve never taken my own crockery on holiday I do take stuff to clean.
the first thing I do is wipe down surfaces and clean the sink then get all the crockery, cutlery, glasses etc out of the cupboards and give everything a good wash. Many a time there has been egg yolk still stuck to a plate or two. You just can’t trust people not to just rinse stuff before they depart -or leave a sink full of dishes for the cleaner who don’t have time to do them properly.

I also take my own pillow.

My sister used to laugh at me if our families were holidaying together, but I’m sure she wouldn’t have let her kids eat off those dirty plates!

in a new home it does take a few weeks to be able to walk around without feeling the need to have something on my feet and to stop thinking about the other people using the loo and showering and stuff, I think that’s quite normal tbh. The bath thing is a bit extreme but I have a friend who was the same. We all have our own little quirks!

I can totally relate OP. I have OCD.

I can’t enjoy meals out at restaurants because I sit and imagine all the people who have used the cutlery, glasses, plates etc. Gives me goosebumps too. Even though they are physically clean and I try and tell myself time and time again that they have been washed - the thoughts still make me feel sick.

It’s worth mentioning to the GP to see if they can refer you for talking therapies or if you are in the UK you can self refer via the NHS (IAPT).

You are definitely not alone in this and although it isn’t considered “normal” thinking, a lot of others will be able to relate and it will be more common than you think. I used to think I was crazy.

I think it's time to seek help, it's impacting on your family and not eating because of this really isn't good.

I have dx ocd op and quite honestly I think it's likely you do too.

Forget all you've seen in fiction regarding ocd it's far more complex than lots of hand washing!

I am the same with using hygiene and food items that are used by many others. Home is safe because you KNOW that's clean and is only "contaminated" with your germs that's why you are more comfortable at home.

I would urge you to seek help as soon as possible. I wish I had then it wouldn't have ruined my life as it has

Its not normal and you do need to seek out some form of therapy. You say its not impacting your life....however it is impacting on your family and their lives.

If it’s affected you in a way that you couldn’t enjoy your holiday or tell your dh then it’s already gone too far.

I have ocd and anxiety and it started the exact same way as you have described. I left it too long, thinking it was nothing and I was comfortable at home but it only got worse. Please speak to your dh and a gp, explain the boggling worry that was in your head and they will be able to support you.

I was going to say it’s not uncommon but there replies have me thinking I am also a bit odd?

As an adult i have only bathed in new baths…. (2) I would never use a hotel bath for example and bounce to get out the shower at the thought of other peoples feet in there. I can use restaurant cutlery but not self catering homes for some reason. I massively struggle with public pools and haven’t been in years. The changing rooms, showers, the actual pool….🤮 but I feel like some of that is normal….

Well your DH clearly doesn't agree that it doesn't affect your life. It has negatively affected his during your holiday, and your children shouldn't be brought up to think thus is normal because it really isn't. How do you holiday abroad if you take your own crockery and cutlery?

Yes I can't go in swimming pools or their changing rooms. Makes me feel so ill. Even thinking about it now puts me off my food gads

Holidaying abroad we would be in a hotel and eating at restaurants. I wouldn't be able to eat in the hotel room but I could eat in certain restaurants. Wouldn't do a self catering holiday for this reason.

It's really not normal.

Well of course it isn't 'normal'.
That's not to say others don't have the same condition.

However, I am not sure how you can say it doesn't impact your life, when you can't relax on holiday, or any other time you go away; you can't eat out (or only in limited places); you can't swim; you can't use a toilet out, normally; even thinking about going to a swimming baths puts you off your food..... then it is totally impacting.
If I were in your position, I would certainly be seeking some help.

I have it milder than you. I think about it and don’t like it but push on through and use public cutlery and plates etc anyway at work in the canteen and in restaurants. I do inspect it though to make sure it looks as clean as it can be. I don’t like using those things at other people’s houses though and would struggle in a self catering or caravan place like you did. I can’t share food either, that tips me over the edge. Or eat anything people have made at home and brought in to work. I usually turn down dinner invitations too at people’s houses for the same reason. My aversion is to saliva more than anything. I don’t see it as a big deal though.

I’m exactly the same OP. Luckily DH is too. We take slippers and Dettol wherever we stay overnight. I always put every bit of crockery/cutlery in a holiday cottage through the dishwasher and scrub the bathrooms and floors on arrival. Bring own pillow and towel.

Hospital is a huge problem because I can’t cope with the shared bathroom set-up. Luckily our local hospital has recently been rebuilt with mostly single en suite rooms.

I don’t see anything strange about it tbh and I certainly wouldn’t have therapy. If anything I’m surprised more people aren’t grossed out by this stuff. People walking in bare feet on hotel carpets makes me boak.

I've been out for cleaning supplies when staying at in a caravan. The idea of using the pots puts me off eating. Even using the kettle after reading horrible posts on Mumsnet about kettles, and what happens, in places like that.

They just don't feel clean, and hygiene and cleanliness in caravans has been some of the worst I've seen. I'd never stay in one again.

I don't know if it's 'normal' but then I do have a form of OCD (not cleanliness connected, but more order, detail and tasks, and repercussions if not done, rarely involving cleaning- that probably makes me sound weird so I hope people can see where I'm coming from).

If it's impacting a lot it might be an idea to seek some help.

Oh god, please tell me what happens to the kettles. That's actually not something I have ever worried about as I think the water is boiled but please tell me.

Well obviously its not normal otherwise hotels would have to replace their baths and showers after every visitor.

This is ridiculous OP and others who feel the same. I'm sure you know it is. It does affect your life. And very much affects dh and the family. Do what ever you need to address this. But its not fair to other people to carry on like this.